Yesterday I ran in a 5K race (3.1miles). This might seem insignificant to some, but for me it was a milestone, a miracle. My cancer surgeries and treatments have made it very difficult to participate in any type of cardiovascular activity because of my difficulty breathing. For those who don’t know, one of my vocal cords is paralyzed and because of scar tissue from three surgeries and external beam radiation along with swallowing I-131 radiation, my other vocal cord sits close to the other and moves a little slower. Picture drinking through a straw…lots of liquid. Now squeeze the straw so that it’s only open less than half the width, not much liquid can pass through and it’s that much more difficult to suck liquid in. That is how I breathe because my opening is less than half of a normal person’s. Without activity, I breathe just fine; but when I’m doing something active like running, I have to take at least twice as many breaths just to get air into my lungs. It’s a whole process of taking shorter faster breaths to keep going. Six months ago I could barely walk a mile on a treadmill without having to slow down and try to catch my breath, yesterday, I ran 3.1 miles. Now, I do have to say there were periods of walking, but a lot less than I thought. In fact, I finished 80th out of 134 in my age group (I pictured being last but finishing nonetheless). As I crossed the finish line, I could not help but break down and cry. It was a run for health, and faith, and for me, after four long years of fighting, it felt like a first step of trusting my body again, or as a quote I read on another cancer blog, ‘honoring a goal after a sea of disappointment’. I felt and still feel great! Of course I couldn’t do it alone. My friend Frances was there to encourage me and coach me through all the way. I knew this was something I wanted to do eventually and she helped lead me and keep me committed to this race (of course, there were times I wanted to back out).
After all the struggles with cancer and consequently my voice and my breathing, I can say that I can talk, sing, and run. Not without some struggles, but I feel blessed. Thank you to Frances and to all my friends and family that have helped and encouraged me. Thanks also to all of you who follow my lipstick journey!
Today I wear Make Up Forever Rouge Artist Natural in N47. It’s red and moisturizing….it is the red lipstick I was wearing when I crossed the finish line!
