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It Is Well

2 Dec

sky

The month of December has played a big part in my cancer experience. It was December 2007 when I first felt a lump at the base of my neck which started this whole journey. December 2009 I was told my cancer was back for the third time. December and Christmas now have both happy and sad memories and I find myself feeling reflective always praying for a better New Year. When I was in the hospital recovery room after my first surgery I had a vision or a dream, whatever you want to call it. This is something I have only told two people. One, a nurse who came to visit me every day in the ICU after my first radiation treatment, the other, a friend of mine who happens to be nurse, just out of the blue because she posted something on Facebook that brought up this particular memory.

My first surgery was unintentionally 7 hours long because of the amount of cancer in my neck. My nerve was cut leaving my right vocal cord permanently paralyzed. Without me knowing (obviously), my family was told devastating news..cancer and prognosis was bad, voice was probably gone, I would be in the ICU for a couple days and in the hospital for a few more days after that. It took awhile for me to wake up in the recovery room after the long surgery but I have a VIVID memory prior to waking up. If you’ve been following my blog you know I am a singer. What I saw before opening my eyes was me on a stage under a spotlight. I was alone, on the stage, in front of a black curtain and all I saw was the bright light and nothing else, no audience. I was singing a capella, no accompaniment, an old hymn called It Is Well With My Soul. All I felt was joy and peace as I sang it to no one, face in the light. When I opened my eyes moments later to see my husband teary eyed with bad news all I could feel was calm, I cry thinking about it. Here are some of the lyrics:

When peace, like a river, attendeth my way,
When sorrows like sea billows roll;
Whatever my lot, You have taught me to say,
It is well, it is well, with my soul.

  • Refrain:
    It is well, with my soul,
    It is well, it is well, with my soul.

Though Satan should buffet, though trials should come,
Let this blest assurance control,
That Christ has regarded my helpless estate,
And hath shed His own blood for my soul.

So here I am today, December 2012. Life has had its challenges but no matter what has happened and what will come it is still well with my soul. In the hustle and bustle of the holidays and as we close out another year, take a deep breath and be thankful for life. Happy December!

Today I wear MAC Sheen Supreme lipstick in Bare Again which is a pinky beige color. This is my favorite MAC formulation because it’s super moisturizing but also has lots of color. I chose Bare Again kind of for the name because technically with the memories of my past Decembers along with the sheer busyness of this season I sometimes feel raw or ‘bare’. It is also a good ‘nude’ type lipstick, not too beige, and a little ‘pinky’. Cheers!

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2 Responses to “It Is Well”

  1. ls J December 2, 2012 at 9:50 pm #

    Thanks for sharing. It was Dec. 5th 2005 when they found out I had ovarian cancer. I didn’t find out until the 8th. I needed the “It is well with my soul.” It is a beautiful song. Love Linda Justice

  2. Carole Pryzby December 2, 2012 at 10:55 pm #

    Thank you for sharing with all of us what you have not shared before! Your story is beautiful, uplifting, and one that I know I will revisit. My thyca journey has rekindled my spirituality and brought me back to a closer relationship with God. For this I am very grateful. I find much comfort in the words of hymns and am happy to have found a kindred spirit.

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