Well?

Life wouldn’t be interesting without a few obstacles, right? This past week I was waiting to hear from my doctor about my next steps in terms of testing to see if the number in my blood work really meant anything. While I waited to see what he decided, I called my new insurance carrier (from my new job), to make sure everything was covered. Surprise, surprise, all testing would not be covered until October; one year of employment for pre-existing conditions. That’s right, no coverage for any other testing. After arguing the points that I was cancer free when I started work, and have been for two years, she responded with ‘anything that we deem remotely related to your past health history would be considered pre-existing.’…  ‘What if I was diagnosed with breast cancer after a routine mammogram?…’   ‘Pre-existing’. Yup, it changed the course of my testing and possible treatment. I will not go into the ethics of that or involve myself in an insurance debate. It is what it is (you know I hate that phrase)! So, from there, I struggled with the cost of a PET scan and ultrasound and wondered how much and how long I could wait to hear an answer. In the meantime, my doctor was also wondering which way to go. On Tuesday he called and proposed an ultrasound done in his office because he said he could then control cost. Today I had that ultrasound done by a young radiologist. In the end, he said he didn’t see anything big enough to do anything about so he said I was ‘clean.’ I asked about all of the abnormal tissue and he said the ultrasound can’t differentiate between scar and tumor but nonetheless, the ‘extra’ tissue he sees is too small. So now what? I want to be excited but I’m not quite there. I haven’t spoken to my doctor about the results so I’m not sure what he’s thinking. The number from my blood-work was above normal, my neck has abnormal tissue, but not anything sizable, and only a PET scan can show if there is cancer anywhere else. So no, I’m not ecstatic over the results, but I’m not as freaked out as last week I guess.

The best part of this week has been all the love and support I have felt. I cannot tell you how many people reached out to me with prayer, support, and offers of fundraisers, etc. I’ve cried a few times because it was all so overwhelming; some of those who reached out are even people I haven’t known for very long. I was even moved by the offer of my doctor to help with the costs of the testing. It’s all too much and I am so grateful. Well, what to do next? I’m not sure. I will wait to hear from my doctor and for today I feel at peace with whatever may happen, or not happen next. The picture of the doors? Because we never know what’s behind them; still finding the magic in every day.

Thank you all for following my journey. Today I wear Bobbi Brown Creamy Lip Color in Hibiscus. These lipsticks are creamy and super moisturizing and I chose this color because it reminds me of summer (which I am so ready for). Cheers!