24 Mar

no fear

It has been an interesting few weeks. Remember when I said insurance would deny coverage until October because of the pre-existing condition? Well, I tried to forget about the possible cancer until then and that lasted about a week. I decided to call Human Resources at my new company and explain my situation, they called me back a couple days later and said it would be taken care of! About a week after that (two weeks ago), I got a letter from my insurance company which said they decided not to approve the request from my doctor for the PET scan because they didn’t find it to be medically necessary. WHAT? Well, my doctor called them immediately, sent more paperwork and last Tuesday I received a letter from them saying that they approved the test. Last Friday I was back in the hospital getting my PET scan done. I got to the hospital about half an hour early and as I sat in the parking lot, there were many thoughts and emotions running through my head. I hadn’t been back to get a PET scan since 2011 (it has been only ultrasounds and blood work since then) so I was a little depressed and a little nervous too. When my name was called the nuclear tech said, ‘Oh hello, I remember you!’…Great…for the first few years of cancer, I was back every 6 months. Not surprisingly, the other 2 techs remembered me too; it was overall a strange and sad experience. Now I wait for one of three outcomes: 1. It’s totally clean and cancer free, the bloodwork was a fluke (best), 2. There is a little cancer in my neck again but it is possibly slow growing and we watch and wait, or 3. The cancer is found somewhere else(worst). I’m not sure when I’ll get the results but at least I’ll have an answer.

I met with a good friend afterward who is going through her own trial. Her boyfriend of a few years has had a lump in his neck dramatically grow in the past few weeks and after seeing a couple physicians last week, there is much concern as to what it may be. Next week there will be a biopsy and answers for them too. Life can change in a second, it’s crazy. Most people ask the same question, ‘why’?, but most people forget the other question, ‘why not?’ Are some people better than others, should some be exempt from illness, heartache, etc.? God did not promise a perfect life, but He does promise to be there to carry us through. We never know His purpose, but we do know that all things work together for His glory. It should be an interesting week however it turns out, but that’s life right?

Today I wear Fresh Sugar Lip Treatment SPF 15 balm in Sugar Berry which is a sheer raspberry. I know you may consider this to be expensive lip balm but it’s free of all those chemicals that concern people (phthalates, parabens, sulfates, etc). Although the colors are sheer they do provide quite a bit of color and are wonderfully moisturizing. I actually own this lip balm in a few other colors. I chose this color because it’s a pop of berry which is one of the colors trending for spring. Cheers!


7 Responses to “Waiting”

  1. Bob Janke March 24, 2013 at 1:13 pm #

    And so it goes for those of us who are taking the journey through lifewith cancer. Ihave a PET scan scheduled this Wednesday,both becuase of my rapidly rising TSH count and because of the problems I have had since September. Now,I can add slow, constant bleeding somewhere in my trachea and constant severe pain radiating from throat to ear. My last Pet scan was also in 2011,and since I have had CT scans every 6 months. Up until my most recent in January, all have been “clear of cancer”. But my condition is deteriorating and so far, no answer from any of my doctors. Have to see my ENT doctor tomorrow. For my peace of mind and Judy’s sanity, I hope we get some answers this week. Hold on tight to your family and “Don’t Worry, Be Anna”!

    • Anna March 24, 2013 at 10:23 pm #

      Oh Bob, hasn’t this journey been crazy for both of us? I’ll continue praying for you. So glad to have met you despite the circumstances of our meeting! Hugs to you and Judy.

  2. Kim DiCamillo March 24, 2013 at 2:37 pm #

    Anna, you know I’m thinking of you. Life is a journey we all take and no one knows what is around the next turn. I pray the results are the best they can be. You are an amazing women. I hope you take comfort in knowing so many people want the best for you. All of our journeys are somehow crossed with others and ultimately we are impacted by each others journey along the same path. I’m praying that you receive nothing but positive news and can find some peace along your journey.

    • Anna March 24, 2013 at 10:24 pm #

      Thank you Kim, glad our paths have crossed!

  3. Bev March 24, 2013 at 7:04 pm #

    Anna this is so great and I will pray all week!

    • Anna March 24, 2013 at 10:25 pm #

      Thanks Bev! Praying for your upcoming ‘date’ too!

  4. Grace March 25, 2013 at 10:09 am #

    Precious Anna – I’m still lifting you in prayer. In the midst of trials and especially when my mom passed, I was reminded of the old hymn, “Leaning on the Everlasting Arms”. I sing it as a prayer, knowing how faithfully He carries us. Such a good perspective to have in the face of the questions and fear. Blessings and peace, dear sister –

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