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Insomnia

8 May

I have been having trouble sleeping lately. Do you ever feel like there’s not enough time in the day?  I read a quote last week which said, “Sky Above, Earth Below, Fire Within.” That statement really impacted me because that’s how I feel after cancer. I have a fire within to make some type of difference. With my voice still intact despite all the surgeries, radiation treatments, and the loss of one vocal cord, I feel like I might have something to say. With my new found passion for writing, my book, my blog, etc, I feel I may have lots more I need to write. With the people my job allows me to meet and those currently in my life, I feel the need to hear people’s stories because there are so many, and do what, write them down? All the stories, all the backgrounds help me appreciate my own and make me a richer more loving person. With my new found health and passion for life I feel I might be preparing for something to do…I just don’t know what.  All I know is that I’m awake and at times, overcommitted, and add to that all the lipstick…it’s just crazy.

What do you do when you have a burning passion to do something and don’t know which direction to take because you’re not exactly sure what that passion is? ‘To make a difference’ sounds too broad right? I’m curious, really, what do you do? Yes I know I spoke about purpose in my last blog and I still believe that people are the purpose for where we are. For me though, after all this cancer junk, at the end of the day it’s hard for me to sleep because it’s another day, another 24 hours, gone and I’m just wishing I could have done more with that time…. another risk, another phone call, another letter, whatever, just more. I guess for now, I will pray and go about my days with eyes and arms wide open. Eyes open for whatever may lie ahead. Arms wide open to people.  Notice anything with the picture above? There are two rainbows…don’t miss the moments.

Today I wear Dior Addict Ultra lipgloss in Flash which I’m sad to say was a limited color a few months ago ( a close relative would be Outrageous Fuscia or Sari Pink). What I love about the Dior lipglosses is they are so moist and not sticky. They add a hint of color and are beautiful.  Right now, they are my favorite lipglosses. I chose the color Flash because the name reminds me that life goes by so quickly!

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4 Responses to “Insomnia”

  1. Maria May 8, 2012 at 11:57 pm #

    What I do…I start small. Because any small thing can lead to something large and unexpected. By starting small, it also leaves me open and alert to take advantage of every opportunity that comes my way, without needing to worry of how much commitment it may require in the long term.

    • Anna May 9, 2012 at 3:59 pm #

      Thank you Maria!

  2. Facing Cancer (@cancer2gether) May 9, 2012 at 1:14 pm #

    You’re so full of purpose and passion, Anna – it shouts out through your writing. Sorry to hear you’re having trouble sleeping. I used to lay awake during treatments and just reflect on the time (at night) when there were no obligations. It was a sort of sweet nothingness, and I revelled in it. Kinda the other side of the coin, eh? I guess it works both ways – we need to live to our fullest, but in order to do that, we need to rest as well.
    Keep up the writing! It’s great.

    • Anna May 9, 2012 at 3:58 pm #

      Thanks for your encouragement. I think because I’m currently ‘healthy’ I feel like there’s lots to do…my mind keeps spinning. I do need to relax, though…

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