Archive | September, 2012

Free Coffee

25 Sep

The other day I was in the Starbuck’s drive thru. There were a few people in front of me, but I thought I’d wait. When I got to the window I was told that the man in the car in front of me paid for my drink. Believe it or not, tears started welling up in my eyes, thank goodness I had sunglasses on. I had been having one of those days. You know the ones, nothing seems to be going right, it was cold which meant summer was coming to an end, did not get enough sleep the night before, struggling with work, the kids’ schedules seemed too full, allergy attack, whatever else; I was feeling overwhelmed and was looking for something positive to focus on so I turned to Starbuck’s for the Pumpkin Spice Soy Latte both as comfort and as an afternoon pick-me-up .Well, when the kind stranger paid and drove off, unbeknownst to him, he completely changed my day and my outlook.

We always wonder (at least I do) how we can help change a life for the positive, how to make an impact. For me, that day, it was getting a $4.00+ cup of coffee for free, paid for by a total stranger. It is not always the grandiose ‘Oprah starting a school in Africa’ thing or the ‘sell everything you have and give it to charity’ thing. No, sometimes it’s as small as a smile or a compliment, or even a cup of coffee that could change someone’s moment, day, and life. How crazy is that? I immediately wanted to pay it forward, pay for the next person’s drink, but no one was behind me in the drive thru.

How do we change the world? It may just take that one moment, or be that one small act of kindness.  Show people you care and that they matter, take them by surprise!

Today I wear an old standard for me, Revlon lipstick in Coffee Bean. This is a great shimmery brown with a little bit of a plum undertone. This is a great every day color for most skin tones although it does have a little shimmer. Obviously today I chose it for the name in honor of that cup of coffee. Cheers!

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Bottom

19 Sep

Remember that ice cream treat you would get from the ice cream truck with the bubble gum at the bottom? I would eat that ice cream so fast just to get to the bubblegum (which would lose it’s flavor within 10 seconds); or when you opened that box of Cracker Jacks you couldn’t wait to eat it all so you could get to the prize at the bottom of the box (by the way, the prize is now at the top of the box to conform to our instant gratification world)? Then there are those phrases, ‘save the best for last’, ‘the pot of gold is at the end of the rainbow, ‘can’t wait til retirement to do all the things I want to do.’ Why do we rush through things to get to the bottom, the end, retirement?

This week one of the kids I grew up with found out that his wife’s cancer is back. She had breast cancer the year before my cancer and they just found out it is now in her bones. My son came home a couple days ago and said that one of his friends’ dad had a massive heart attack while jogging and passed away that day, he was only 50 years old. Two of my mom’s frends were diagnosed with cancer, one breast, the other prostate. It has been a wild and sad week, which brings me back to what I was talking about in the beginning. Why are we rushing through the days in hopes of the prize at the bottom? Why are we waiting for retirement to enjoy life? Why are we making bucket lists but waiting for the right time? Now is the time. Life is so short and can change in a blink of an eye. When we rush through hoping for the prize at the end, we miss what’s in front of us. Even if the only positive thing in the day is the sun shining…stick your face out there and soak it in. We work and work toward retirement in hopes that that is when we will enjoy our days, well, what if those days never come or what if you’re incapable of doing the things you thought you wanted to do? Again, now is the time. Tackle your bucket list now. Enjoy life now. Tell people you love them now. Hold them close now. 

Today I wear Nars lipgloss in Wonder which is a peachy pink color. Nars lipglosses are not too sticky and depending on the color, fairly sheer. This color looks really peachy, but if your lips have a plum undertone it cancels out the orange and the color shows up as a sheer pop of pale pink, just the right neutral for every day. I chose this color because I like it but I also like the name, shouldn’t we live life in sheer wonder and gratitude for every day we get? Cheers!

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“B”

15 Sep

Every time you meet someone you never know how you may impact their life or adjust their story; or even more importantly how they may change you.  When I was doing my radiation treatments I befriended a fellow patient who I’ll call ‘B’.  When you’re getting radiation treatments you go at about the same time every day because they want the level of radiation to remain consistent throughout the day. Of course then, you see the same people in the small radiation waiting room every day; some were only there for a few treatments or a few weeks, but ‘B’ and I were there every day for the whole seven weeks at the same time and our stories kind of run parallel. We both had an aggressive thyroid cancer that spread, we both had a parlyzed vocal cord, and we both had several surgeries. Thanks to Facebook, we found each other and now are able to support each other in our post cancer paths through e-mail. Recently I heard from both him and his wife because he suffered a small setback. Like myself, it has been increasingly more difficult to breathe and swallow, but for him, it was becoming impossible. He went back to the hospital and like me was told it was scar tissue that has built up since radiation. He suffered some complications and is still trying to recover with a new trach in his neck to help him breathe. My heart is so heavy because I feel his same fear and heartache. He talks about all the things he still wants to do with his family and I completely understand. Even though I only saw him for a half an hour every day for seven weeks, I care for him and he and his story have deeply affected me.

I know we are in a world of social media that has sucked us all in, and sometimes it can be viewed as bad because we have lost that personal face to face communication and touch, but in some ways it has been a blessing. I have been able to stay in touch with this friend who shared in the struggle of radiation and cancer. I have forged some deep friendships with people who I have never met; people who like me find it easier to express their thoughts and feelings through writing (and music). People like those in my bloggging group who leave their heart in their writing, I love them (you guys know who you are). For my special friend I met on Twitter…you are AWESOME! To my Thyca sisters Sarah, Bridget, Megan and others who I only know through Facebook and blogging…it’s awesome to know we all had the same fight and it was never easy! Yes, these virtual friendships are incredible and I’m thankful. Nothing is better than the personal face to face, but all friendships, if you put yourself out there, are wonderful. Each person has placed their imprint on my heart and it’s overwhelming. Each person you meet, even  briefly, can adjust your story, change your path, change your way of thinking…think about the power you have to do the same for them. Use your words wisely, love openly and the love and friendship you get back will amaze you. Thanks for being here and being a part of my story.

Today’s lipstick is Clinique Chubby Stick in Pudgy Peony which is a sheer fuscia pink. I like these glosses because they feel like lip balm and this color is just fun. They are ultra sheer but shouldn’t friendship be like that? Transparent? Cheers!

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Impulse

12 Sep

Coming home from work today I saw one of those giant flocks of small birds flying in different formations over a field. You know the ones I’m talking about? I think they are sparrows, but literally there are hundreds flying and weaving, landing, turning, it’s quite the sight to see. Against the backdrop of the clear blue sky, it was beautiful. While watching (and driving), I noticed that as they flew in formation, it seemed that one bird would fly on impulse another way; then one, two, a hundred would follow. It occured several times within seconds.

School started last week for my kids and there has been quite a bit of discussion on popularity in my house..with a pre-teen and a teenager, well of course. “Why is so and so popular?”, “what makes people popular?”…oh yeah, I forgot about all of that pressure. I was never the popular one but I was always nice to everyone which made me ‘well known’ in many different groups of my large school. Today when I watched the birds I was able to talk about that to my kids in terms of popularity. I told them that the birds all flew in a cluster but there was always a leader, in a matter of seconds though, another bird would impulsively go a different direction then the cluster would follow. Do you want to be part of the pack following the popular kid (or lead bird) or the one that breaks off and does your own thing, maybe some come along beside you, maybe not, or maybe new people show up? It’s much more fun to do your own thing and not just be a follower, plus, (as evidenced by the birds) the leader lost his status within seconds. Popularity is fleeting and comes and goes like the wind. I told them to stand firm in who they are, follow their passions, and love people. Everyone has a story and a reason, take time to listen and invest in people. It’s hard to be a parent, I’m sure we’ll have this discussion again, maybe I’ll see something else that I can use as an analogy.

“Here’s to the crazy ones. The misfits. The rebels. The troublemakers. The round pegs in the square holes. The ones who see things differently. They’re not fond of rules. And they have no respect for the status quo. You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them. About the only thing you can’t do is ignore them. Because they change things. They push the human race forward. And while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius. Because the people who are crazy enough to think they can change the world, are the ones who do.”
― Apple Inc.

Speaking of impulsiveness, I have purchased three lipsticks in two days ,one’s going back and another is a refill on my fall favorite. My color for today and the fall favorite I’m talking about is Lancome L’Absolu Rouge lipstick in Merlot. This happens to be the perfect deep red shade for me. Also the consistency is VERY moisturizing which I love. This is a lipstick I buy every year for fall and winter and is perfect if you have tan skin. Incidentally a perfect bright red for more of a porcelain to medium skin tone is Nars Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Red Square. It’s an awesome color but unfortunately for me it makes me look like a crazy woman…too bright, sigh, I’ll still wear it.

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It Is What It Is

5 Sep

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I hate that phrase by the way, ‘it is what it is’. My arm hairs bristle every time someone says it. I think because I view it as a cop out, or an excuse, like things can’t change or be changed. I guess sometimes that’s true.

I had my doctor appointment last Friday to finally discuss the ultrasound and MRI findings from a few weeks ago. If you recall, he was on vacation immediately after my ultrasound so I haven’t spoken to him about the results and possible next steps. Well…here’s how it went….Doc: I think you’re good for now, see you in a few months. Me: What about the growth the radiologist saw? Doc: Well, you can do a PET scan but it will say the same thing, abnormal tissue, it’s up to you. Me: What do you think I should do? Doc: Check if it’s grown in 3-6 months…if it has,it’s probably cancer, if not, it’s probably just scar tissue. Besides, no surgeon is going to want to go back in there right now. Me: It’s been 2 and a half years since surgery and radiation, when does scar tissue stop growing. Doc: Now. Just live life as normal and I’ll see you in a few months.

That’s it. Life goes on. Isn’t that true though about anything? Illness, you get fired or laid off from a job, your child leaves for college, you miss an appointment….life ALWAYS moves forward. How do we handle that? There’s only two choices, positively or negatively. I have to choose positive, even if I’m kicking and screaming, because I trust God has a plan. It may not be the same plan I’m thinking, but His wheels are in motion and I’m there for the ride.

Today I wear Bite Beauty Honey Lip Lacquer in Aurora which is of course, red. These are interesting, I saw them on display at Sephora last weekend and had to try. They are all natural and long lasting, actually made from 100% honey. These are high shine glosses and for me, a little sticky but beautiful nonetheless. I chose red because, well, it’s a bold color always reminding me to live out loud with no fear. By the way, I’m done being angry…it gets tiring after awhile (remember my last blog called ‘Tired?’). So here I am, living the dream (another phrase I hate). Cheers!

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