So I just completed my first week in the field doing the only job I’ve known since college. This may sound cheesy, but it felt like home. Sure, I’ve done a short stint or two trying other things, but this is the job that I am confident in and that I know how to do and for that reason, I love it and I feel very fortunate to be back. I am in a territory that is partly new for me so I get to meet tons of new people which is exciting (not all of them are nice, that’s the challenge, right?); but I also see some of the people that I used to see before I was laid off last year and it was like I had never left.
Driving along today I was looking at my life and really feeling blessed. Sure, I am still living with cancer, but I have a job I actually like, I don’t have to travel a ton so I’m home with my family almost every night, they’re all healthy, and generally, I feel great. I am done crying and as a matter of fact, I can’t stop smiling right now (I realize this may be temporary, but for now, it’s what I got). I was with a new customer a few days ago and after I introduced myself he handed me a piece of paper folded in half and told me to read it in my spare time. I of course stuffed it in my bag and forgot about it until now. Well, I read it and the gist was this, enjoy today, don’t worry about tomorrow, and don’t think about the past…how fitting…it put a bigger smile on my face. Enjoying today is hard for many of us to do, but truly today is all we have. Recently I went through my ‘what if’s’…What if I never got cancer? Then I wouldn’t have written a book, and I wouldn’t have met all of my new and wonderful friends and support system, I wouldn’t have known to let go of the simple worries and irritations so easily. What if it continues to grow and I can finally no longer sing? Well, this I struggled with for awhile but after grieving the possibility over and over, I am letting that go to. I think our question should not be ‘what if’ but instead be ‘what now’. If we continue to worry about the future and obsess about the past, we miss today and that would be a bummer because for now, today is all we have.
Enjoy today, be present for those around you and especially for those you love because we can’t get back time. It’s ok to be selfish with your time, since cancer, I certainly am. Don’t let today be tomorrow’s regret. Today I wear Nars lipgloss in Greek Holiday. It’s a gorgeous peachy-cream-sparkly lipgloss. It’s great for medium/darker skin or someone with a great tan. I wear it because it’s beautiful and going on a Greek holiday sounds like fun (I’ve never been, but thinking about it puts a smile on my face)!
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