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Unexpected

30 Jul

 

Just goofing off

Last week was a good week. If you recall, I had some different tests done the week before, last week was all about results. I really hate the cancer roller coaster of emotions. I wonder if there will ever be a day when whatever I’m feeling (a cold, a sore throat, or for that matter whatever lump or bump appears or disappears) will not be about cancer. Oh well, such is the life of a survivor or fighter, whatever. Anyhow, last Monday the tissue they saw on my optic nerve turned out to be just an extra bundle of nerves and tissue and was not abnormal. Wednesday, the MRI results showed I had a bulging disc in my neck explaining the numbness and tingling in my left arm; not related to the multiple surgeries in my neck or the radiation. Friday my laryngologist did a follow up check of my vocal cords and the hemorrhage on my right paralyzed cord is healing and my left vocal cord is starting to move again. Whew, now I wait for my ultrasound and those results in two weeks. From the extreme emotions and weaning off the high steroids, by Saturday, I was exhausted so I think I slept half the day. Life comes fast and furious sometimes. Cancer has introduced me to a whole new set of emotions and there always seems to be something unexpected that comes up, but it’s not all bad, each day is new and I choose to trust God….not fear.

Yesterday we dropped off all three kids at camp for the week. It was the first time for our youngest to go so I was sad to let him go yet excited for him and his new adventure. What was unexpected for me was how I felt saying good-bye to my oldest. I was proud and sad at the same time. He will be 15 in a few weeks and will be starting driver’s ed when he gets back from camp. I am so proud of the young man he is becoming but as I watched him walk away I was saddened at the fact that he is edging closer to legal adulthood. Have I done enough as a mom? Have we taught him well so far? Our time as parents molding and shaping our kids into adults is so short. I have great kids and I feel truly blessed.

Today I wear Bobbi Brown Creamy Lipcolor in Blue Raspberry. I LOVE Bobbi Brown lipsticks. Most of the colors have a brown base so they work for most skin tones. The Creamy Lipcolor is so moisturizing it feels like a balm but these have lots of shine and color. If you love lipgloss but need more color, these are for you. I chose Blue Raspberry because it’s a great berry tone for summer, and who doesn’t love blue raspberries?

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14 Responses to “Unexpected”

  1. phoenixritu July 31, 2012 at 3:12 am #

    We do our best with the children, we may not be perfect and many things may not come through, but we do our best ….

    • Anna July 31, 2012 at 4:42 pm #

      Yes, thank you! We try to do our best for the kids based on what we know. Other than that, lots of prayers

  2. Facing Cancer (@cancer2gether) July 31, 2012 at 11:05 am #

    Great photographs 🙂 It looks like everyone is very happy. Glad to hear things are slowly coming together with the results, thought it’s nevertheless nerve-wracking – isn’t it. But sounds like so far the news is good.

    Take care,
    Catherine
    wwww.facingcancer.ca

    • Anna July 31, 2012 at 4:41 pm #

      Thanks Catherine! Yes, so far so good but I’m always holding my breath!

  3. Violy July 31, 2012 at 3:09 pm #

    Your faith is sooooo inspiring.

    • Anna July 31, 2012 at 4:40 pm #

      Thank you so much!

  4. danneromero July 31, 2012 at 5:05 pm #

    you seem happy… based on your words…. i get a good sense. and yes, children grow quickly… like you said, i too, have been blessed with great kids… kids who like to be around me… just that makes my day feel great… 🙂

    • Anna August 1, 2012 at 4:42 pm #

      Yes, I think happiness comes and goes. I am more content with whatever life may bring. Trying to do my best with the kids, I’m sure I get it wrong sometimes.

  5. Jo August 1, 2012 at 4:35 pm #

    That parenting thing is a lifetime job. I still wonder if I had done something differently would they have easier adult lives. I wonder if I was ever enough and am I enough now. They are in their 40’s and yet, I am still parenting.
    And the cancer question, yeah, I think it will always be part of your life, how can it not be? The faith in God will always set you on the right side of questioning though and I know you’ll be fine. I know it.

    • Anna August 1, 2012 at 4:43 pm #

      Jo, you always know what to say, thank you.

  6. Kathy August 1, 2012 at 6:18 pm #

    Once you have kids, it goes on for the rest of your life. They always need you. I always needed my parents and if they hadn’t died I would still rely on them. I miss them. Having faith in God and doing the best you can do is all you can do.

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com

    • Anna August 1, 2012 at 8:00 pm #

      Thanks Kathy,you’re so right. Throughout my cancer journey my parents (and in laws) were and are there. We do always need them!

  7. drchoneydew August 5, 2012 at 7:43 am #

    AND..i love the goofing off pic TOO!! :0) awesome as always!

    • Anna August 6, 2012 at 2:57 pm #

      Thank you much Brenda!

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