Prayer, Christianity

24 Sep


photo courtesy of Kensington Community Church

Last month when I told my mom I had cancer again her first words after the ‘what’ and the ‘where’ were, ‘How can that be? We’ve been praying for you every single day since the last cancer (7 years) that it wouldn’t return. How can that be?’  The second or third time I had cancer I was invited to a small group bible study so they could pray for me…who wouldn’t want that? It was all good until one of the gentlemen started praying for my faith. Afterward he said that I probably got cancer again because I didn’t have enough faith and that his extreme faith in God is why he’s had no illness and drives a Cadillac. His faith got him blessings. I left there angry and sick to my stomach.

I am a Christian woman. I believe in the Father, his son Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. I try to live a life that shows that but I know I am far from perfect; the amazing part of Christianity is God’s grace and forgiveness. I have complete faith in God’s plan for my life however that looks and I believe there is a reason and a season for everything. Yesterday I waved hello to someone from my past who has over the years hardened toward me because of untruths that she has been told and she turned her back. This mature woman of faith. I wanted to finally speak my truth because there are always two sides, I wanted to forgive, and I wanted to share grace but she. turned. her. back. I forgave, I let go.

You say you’re a Christian? Show me. You have the bible memorized and can quote me verses? Nice job, but are you kind? Show me. You have your arms raised when you worship? Looks intense but do you love people not like you? How do you act outside those four church walls? Show me. You go to church every Sunday and sometimes during the week? Great, but do you condemn and curse people for offensive actions based on your judgement? Show me. John 13:35 says ‘Your love for one another will prove to the world that you are my disciples.’ Is that you? Is that me? I’m trying my best but if you are quoting a bible verse in one breath then condemning or cursing a person, tribe, nationality, etc…what does that show the world? The old hymn says, ‘They will know we are Christians by our love,’ can we do that? Having cancer again gives me less energy and tolerance for stupid and lots of eye rolling as well. We are all flawed but if all the Christians would love and forgive more maybe our country would be a little less divided. Can we match our actions to our words so our legacy is one of love? We are never promised tomorrow and we are all doing the best we can, let’s do better.  ‘But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, against such things there is no law.’ Galatians 5:22-23 

Now, the harder question. Does God answer prayer? When my mom asked me the ‘how’ with all the prayers I just had to shrug my shoulders and say that maybe God had a different plan and to just keep praying. I still 100 percent believe God answers prayer even if it’s not the answer we are hoping for. As Christians we always talk about God’s perfect plan, God giving us the desires of our heart, etc but we are also human so in our human brains it gets a little confusing when we think that His plan is something that we actually want or desire; healing, a promotion, a spouse, a child, a pay raise. I believe that God really cares about our hearts and the rest of the superficial stuff is secondary. I will not stop praying for the superficial stuff but I know that in the big scheme of things I have a plan and God has a plan and sometimes they’re not the same. I trust Him…He loves me, He made me.

Today I wear Lancome L’Absolu Hydrating Lipcolor in Jezebel…I know, biblical name with negative connotation but c’mon people, it’s the name of a lip color. This is the perfect deep berry shade for fall and I love that it’s so moisturizing. Until next time, Cheers!


8 Responses to “Prayer, Christianity”

  1. Kadee McDonald September 24, 2017 at 11:37 am #

    I’m a Christian, as well, and I wish you everything good in the days ahead. I believe that God does answer all prayers, but I think what some Christians don’t get is that sometimes the answer is “no.”

  2. Brigid Greening September 24, 2017 at 1:52 pm #

    Anna, Oh the struggle is real. This piece reminds me of two thoughts that ran on repeat since my diagnosis: (1) we are not made for this life but to eternal life with God in heaven and (2) we pray “Thy will be done…” in The Lord’s Prayer; so we must open ourselves to His Will and work to align our will accordingly. Easier said than done, but I’m working on it.
    My prayers for you continue, my friend.

    • Anna September 24, 2017 at 2:25 pm #

      Thank you Brigid ❤️

  3. Judy Janke September 25, 2017 at 11:39 am #

    Anna, I am a very spiritual person! I believe in our God, Jesus and the Holy spirit. I believe in our Angels, spirit Angels, Arc Angels, good and bad Karma. I do not believe in churches. I have found more hypocrites in those four walls then I can count. I am not judging them for I feel our Lord knows who they are. Just saying I stay far enough away. I know God has a plan for you, good or bad, but you must have faith (which I know you have deeply) and allow him to follow though his plan. Yes I do believe in Prayer. I ask my God and all his helpers to show me the way. YOU do NOT have to have a building to go to too worship! My God is with me everywhere I go. I pray for you to be healed and your questions answered and peace to you and your family.
    Love YOU!
    Judy Janke

  4. kathleen September 26, 2017 at 9:53 am #

    prayers to you Anna!

    • Anna September 26, 2017 at 9:54 am #


  5. Shelly Rizzo September 26, 2017 at 10:20 pm #

    Anna you have touched on so many things that have also taken my heart to task. I am so sorry for what you are enduring. There is one thing I know for sure…..He loves you and He’s got you.

    • Anna September 26, 2017 at 10:58 pm #

      Thank you Shelly ❤️

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