A couple things really affected me over the last couple of weeks. A big one was Artemis II; the unbelievable images they captured, the joy and awe the astronauts had, all the things. Because we are so connected these days we were able to really follow almost their entire journey around the moon AND see the astronauts, share in their camaraderie, hear their thoughts and voices too. Upon their return they did numerous interviews and in one of them Christine Koch got emotional talking about the time she saw the earth hanging in the vast pure darkness—wow. That statement made me emotional because some fight over land, power, fame, money, and yet we are so small and we ALL are living on one single ball floating in darkness. It’s crazy and the pictures from the space perspective they captured were astounding.
Another statement that kinda blew my mind came from the winner of The Voice, Alexia Jayy. First off, she was phenomenal the whole season so I wasn’t entirely surprised that she won. Right after she was crowned this season’s winner she cried (of course), and the cameras followed her backstage where she called her mom. There was the usual ‘I can’t believe it! I won! I’ve worked so hard’ statements but at the end, she shook her head and in tears said, ‘I’m so proud of myself.’ That statement. How often do we say that to ourselves? How often do we wait for validation from a parent, coach, or a boss to tell us they’re proud? Those are all important to hear but why is it more rare to say it to ourselves? Maybe you do but I’ve never said it to me and it struck something inside of me that made me emotional but also left me feeling a little more empowered.
Last week I got to participate in my doctor’s World Voice Day Celebration Concert. I have joined this celebration almost every year since 2009 (after my 2nd cancer diagnosis) but for last week’s concert I was chosen to be the featured speaker sharing my cancer story, how it affected my voice, and of course, the power of our voice. Now, if you’ve read my last two posts you know I had the flu almost 3 months ago but after the fever broke I lost my voice COMPLETELY for almost 5 weeks, then it would come and go (still coughing, still weak today). This Voice Day and my being a part of it was touch and go up until my doctor introduced me. What most didn’t know is that last fall I had a weird reaction to my tetanus booster causing all of my lymph nodes in my armpits and around my breasts to become inflamed so a mammogram was recommended (I didn’t do it). Then after Christmas and 4 months of being on HRT for menopause something strange happened and they wanted to do a biopsy in the female parts (I never scheduled). Then the flu, then my voice, then of course the timing. Two weeks before Voice Day I had my mammogram and gyn appointment, the week before World Voice Day, I had my 6 months scans to see if the cancerous nodules in my neck and lungs have started to grow. I hadn’t realized until then that losing my voice for this extended time period was the tip of the health iceberg for me and my body was definitely keeping score. My mammogram and female issue turned out CLEAR and my 6 month scans were still STABLE—despite the stress on my body over the past months, the cancer did not grow (insert BIG sigh here). Sharing my story and singing a song loaded in history and so important to me was overwhelming. All of the anxiety and mistrust of my body culminated in the 8 minutes I was on the stage and I couldn’t help but get emotional afterwards. There were things I forgot to say in my speech and the performance wasn’t perfect, but my heart was exploding with gratitude that hopefully everyone got to feel and hear.
You can watch the full concert here; my speech and song start at around the 15 minute mark (15:00):https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rDoChWthbaY
I’m so proud of myself. I’m so proud of myself. I’m so proud of myself.
We are tiny tiny people, living on a ball, floating in vast nothing, in darkness. What a miracle to be alive. Had things turned out differently for me in terms of the mammogram, scan, voice, etc, I’d like to think I would still be ok and be able to soak in the magical moments with gratitude and hope because I would still have friends and family that love me. Love=Hope and looking back at my life I know I would still say, I’m so proud of myself. You should try it too!
Today I wear Thrive Causemetics EmpowerGloss Ultra Glossy Lip Serum in Vanessa which is a bright cherry. I have loved Thrive as a company for a long time and have been using their mascara for maybe 10 years now, maybe more? I trust their products and love the causes they give back to. Anyhow, this lip serum/lipstick/lipgloss hybrid is FABULOUS; Highly moisturizing, doesn’t just sit on your lips, and more color than a gloss (don’t be afraid of the bright cherry description). I chose this color because it’s red but glossy and not as ‘punchy’ as all out lipstick; the message for me is ‘almost’ fierce but still confident and yes, damn proud. Cheers.
Anna's Lipstick Journey 
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