Tag Archives: lipstick journey

Cheerleader

20 Oct

morning magic

This week I went to a national meeting for my company for a few days. It was a lot of work but a lot of fun too. It was the first chance for me to meet the rest of my team along with the rest of the sales force from across the country. I have to say, everyone’s different but that’s what makes it great. Anyhow, the first day we were there it was Boss’s Day and we got our manager a card. It hit me as I thanked him that I was working for this man for the third time in my 20+ year career. I won’t name him but we first met while training together out of college over 20 years ago. I was about 2 weeks ahead of his small training class of three people and we interacted briefly over a two week period and went our merry ways. 10 years later during a downsize of my company at the time, I was interviewing with another company and he walked in on a second interview and was introduced as the new manager taking over. He hired me and although he wasn’t always easy, he was a great manager. Well, that company got bought after a few years and we separated again. Three years later he called about a job with another company…worked for him again. He left about a year later for a better opportunity and four years after that, I was downsized again. Last summer, he had an opening with his current company and called, and the rest is history. We have kept in touch on and off over the years but one thing I know for sure, he believes in me. When cancer hit me a third time I had not been working for him in awhile yet he showed up at the hospital to tell me that he and his family were there for me and praying for me.

How does it feel when someone believes in you? Amazing. My boss ‘D’ knew about my cancer history and he still hired me (I have to say, I am pretty good at my job). He also knows about the difficult situation that I am in currently and his belief in me hasn’t wavered one bit. I get choked up thinking about it because my life is crazy right now. Something else happens when someone believes in you so much, you don’t want to disappoint. I actually work even harder because I don’t want to disappoint him. It’s a great sign of good leadership; all we need is one cheerleader to help us believe we can accomplish great things. Thanks ‘D’ for being my career cheerleader, and friend, all these years.

It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that  belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen. ~ Muhammad Ali

Today I wear Smashbox Be Legendary Lipstick in Legendary. These lipsticks are creamy and long lasting. They are not as moisturizing as some of the others but they do have pretty good staying power. I chose this color because it’s red (yup, back to red lips), and because of the name. Who doesn’t want to be legendary? Be someone’s cheerleader and help them get a good start! Cheers!

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The Cancer Card

21 Sep
From Playthecard.org (Stupidcancer.org)

From Playthecard.org
(Stupidcancer.org)

One thing I can’t stand is people making immediate judgements or conclusions about someone based on how they look, how they dress, how they talk, etc.  I know I’ve been guilty of this, we all have, right? I’ve always been pretty quiet, a natural introvert, but since I spent much of my life on a stage, many people have interpreted my quiet nature to be arrogance sometimes. It obviously was quite the opposite. I used the stage to come out of my shell and at times be someone different, then afterwards, if you know anything about introverts, I would need quiet to recharge. On top of that, I’ve always been fairly shy so putting myself out there to be social was a huge stretch for me. About 12 years ago I was sent to a management ‘retreat’ where we took the Myers Briggs test to help us decipher our personalities and adapt them to a style of management. The very first component tells you whether you are an introvert or extrovert. What they, and I, found interesting is that I came out exactly in the middle. After speaking to my assigned mentor, he told me that I am a natural introvert but since I had been in sales so long, I had become a forced extrovert…interesting. So, I am still in sales, in a new job, most of my customers are men, but most of the support staff are women. Who is worst and immediate about judging…a woman. Let’s face it, we women are hard on each other. I see it even with my daughter and her age group, girls can be rough at any age. This week I was in one of my offices and the office manager (a woman), just stared at me with disdain on her face as I spoke to a customer (a man). After he left, I tried to engage her in normal conversation and she wasn’t budging, so what did I do? Something I hardly ever do…pulled out the ‘cancer card’. That’s right, I mentioned that it had been hard to maintain a job in a shrinking industry all while fighting cancer off and on for 5 years. Can I tell you her demeanor changed COMPLETELY! The last time I pulled out the cancer card was a few years ago when I still had a bandage over my neck covering my stitches and a guy cut in front of me in a line at a shoe store. I had been waiting awhile and he literally jumped in front of me because he said he was in a hurry. I looked at him, smiled, and said ‘Dude, I have cancer.’ I know, crazy, but I was in line first. Anyhow, this office manager let me say what I needed to say and afterward actually complemented me on how I was the best sales rep she had seen in a while and that she appreciated my intelligence and humility while talking about my products. Wow, really?

Again, I hate that. Why are people nicer to me after I say I had cancer? By the way, you can actually order a cancer card from Stupidcancer.org. The pitch is to cash in the pity chips and milk the diagnosis for all it’s worth…so funny. But really, why can’t we all just be nice from the get go? Two great lessons for me after cancer: Life is short, and everyone has a story. We are the way we are from a combination of our personality and experiences. I love listening to people’s stories and getting to know what they’re about. Think about it next time you make a judgement call on an appearance before you actually speak to someone, you may be surprised.

Today I wear It Cosmetics Vitality Lip Flush in Pretty Woman. This product is very cool. They describe it as a lipstick/lipstain/lip balm/lipgloss, rolled into one. I know it sounds impossible, but it’s kinda true. The texture and color are great. I have to say it’s a little more of a stain then a lipstick but it still adds great color. Pretty Woman again is red…yes, still on the red kick. I love it! Til next time, cheers!

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Living

15 Sep

2012-06-26 04.18.22

Well, the first of my cancer checks is in and it’s clean! This past week I had an ultrasound/biopsy looked at for a ‘funny looking’ lymph node under my arm and it was clean! One step closer to a clean bill of health for another 6 months! Next up, blood work and possible ultrasound for my neck…the original sight of my cancer…sigh, one day at a time. This was also a big week for my kids. My oldest got his first job!! I am so proud and happy for him. He worked hard to become a Red Cross certified lifeguard over the summer and just got a lifeguarding job locally. Considering it was his first actual job interview, he was nervous and was asking what kind of questions they may ask, but he did it! I have a working child! After practicing all summer long for a sport she never played, Audrey made the volleyball team. Again, another proud moment. She is my strong-willed and determined child and once she sets her mind on something she goes for it. She knew she wanted to be on the team so she literally carried a volleyball around the house all summer and practiced non-stop. Well, last week, out of the 40+ that tried out, she made it on the team! Let’s see, what was Alex’s big moment? He started as the quarterback for his flag football team, but was cut short because a player grabbed his thumb instead of the ball and…well, he tore his ligament. Fortunately, it was his left hand and not his throwing hand, so after a week of ‘healing’, he was playing again yesterday, splint on one hand but throwing a touchdown pass with the other. They’re all so different and special.

Life continues to move forward no matter how much I want it to stand still at times. Recently a friend asked when exactly a cancer patient feels somewhat free of cancer, that moment when you start forgetting. I thought about it, and I think it’s never. It’s been almost three years for me (not without some scares in between of course), and it’s still on my mind. It may not be as prevalent as it used to be, but every time I get a sore throat, a cough, a weird ache or pain, I wonder. Every check up, ultrasound, PET scan, bloodwork, I still hold my breath; and then there’s the scar I see everytime I look in the mirror. It’s not bad, I just see all those things as reminders of not only what I’ve been through, but also helps me focus on how I want my life to be. Life is fleeting…Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say…, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.~Pope Paul VI We are not invincible, we are all dying. Because of that situation happening personally, I am struggling to find joy and peace. I know they’re there but sometimes relationships or circumstances continue to grate at you and steal it away. Looking at my picture of the Eiffel Tower above, I know that looking up from the bottom is overwhelming, but getting to the top is always achievable. Again, life is short, so I will continue to grab at the small bits of joy, peace, and hope for a better tomorrow, however brief those moments may be until I can breathe again. I continue looking up. Thank you all for your support and for continuing to follow my lipstick journey!lips

Today I wear Rimmel Kate Lasting Finish Lipstick in #111, Kiss Of Life. These lipsticks are matte but not too drying so I don’t mind them with a little bit of lip balm (on this I would use Philosophy, Kiss Me), or gloss. This color is RED and I mean classic, bright, blue red (at least on me). Remember what I said last week about my lips not entering the room before me? Well, when I wear this, I think my lips would be in the room the day before I got there. Sometimes a gal just needs a good red and you gotta love the name, Kiss of Life! Cheers!

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Busy

22 Jun

photo (7)

Where has the time gone? I apologize for slacking in my writing but, a)I feel like there’s so much going on that my head is spinning and, b)because there’s so much going on, I feel like there’s honestly nothing to write about. It’s ‘b’ that worries me. Yes life moves fast, but if we don’t stop to observe the smallest of moments, we miss the magic of simply living and breathing and I don’t want to miss that because I’m just trying to get through the day…get it? Anyhow, it’s only been about a week since school got out and my oldest made a comment, ‘Why do we seem more busy?’ Well, with a week of summer camp for my daughter, travel basketball for the oldest, baseball play-offs for the youngest, and me working full time? Yeah, we are busy. So, deep breath.

Today my daughter and I went to a wedding shower for a beautiful couple. I have known the bride’s parents for a long time because her dad used to accompany me when I sang awhile back. Fast forward about 15 years and the future groom happens to move here to be closer to his fiance and becomes a leader for my oldest son’s small group at our church. The future bride has had major health struggles over the past year which forced them to postpone the wedding, but now it is back on track and happening soon. What’s beautiful about this couple is that the ‘in sickness and in health’ happened before the wedding and the future groom stood by her side; not just ‘stood’, literally had fundraisers to help the costs of treatment, cooked for her, and cared for her. It was incredible to be a part of their faith and love journey up to this point and get glimpses of their sacrificial love. Today’s bridal shower was really a celebration of life too.

Well, on top of all the business of the past week I was sick, really sick. I just started feeling better yesterday. Body aches, exhaustion, coughing, and because of the coughing I lost my voice for about 4 days. You know what happens when a cancer survivor gets sick and stays sick over a week? They think they have some type of cancer again. I hate that cancer recurrance is where my mind goes first but it’s the truth. Until I started feeling better I thought that I probably had leukemia; not to mention my dog will not leave my side (you know what they say about animals sixth sense). Regardless, I am feeling MUCH better today and my voice is almost 100% back to it’s normal 50% capacity (from lack of vocal cord). Life keeps moving ‘in sickness and in health’ and I don’t want to miss the party. So, in all that busyness, close your eyes and stick your face in the sun or the rain or the clouds and smile. Just breathing is magic!

Today I wear Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter in Lollipop. This is my favorite drugstore lipstick right now because they have quite a bit of color and they do feel like butter on your lips! I have these lip butters in at least four different colors but Lollipop and Red Velvet are my faves. Lollipop is sort of a hot pink color (kinda still on my hot pink roll for now), it reminds me of summer and popsicles…fun! Until next time!

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What if…

12 Jun

sunrise

This week’s topic for my blogging group GBE2 (which, sad to say, I have been very delinquent in posting topics for this group, sorry) is ‘What if…’ First of all, I hate the what ifs because life keeps moving forward, and asking the question forces you to look backwards and maybe question some of the decisions you’ve made along the way. Every day, there are what ifs and whichever path we take or decision we make has a consequence that we just have to deal with, good or bad. Again, I hate looking backwards.

For today I’m going to think about an uncontrollable ‘what if’; a decision made for me. What if I never had cancer? It’s a big one because I have a hard time remembering who I was and what type of person I was before cancer. I don’t think I was much different personality wise, I think maybe how I see things has changed and therefore my heart and soul are little different. Ok, ok, too deep. Anyhow, there are some ‘solid’ things that have happened like if I hadn’t had cancer I wouldn’t have written a book, I wouldn’t have started a blog, and I wouldn’t have had the opportunity to meet all the amazing people along the way and done all the cool things that I’ve done because of the cancer. So here’s the heart and soul stuff….I think I would be a little more selfish, maybe a little less grateful, maybe a lot more rushed through the day, not stopping to stand in the rain or close my eyes and stick my face in the sun. I am a little different, maybe alot different, like I said, I can hardly remember my old self. I love more, my heart breaks easier, I listen more intently, and I try not to take people or days for granted. On the other side I’m alot less tolerant of jerks, mean people, angry people, ‘life-zapping’ people…waste of time and energy. So was cancer a blessing? In some ways. Would I have chosen to get it….NO WAY. What if I never had cancer? Who knows, but I accept who I am today because of it and I keep moving forward. Enough of the what ifs! Everyday a new beginning!

But what if I fail of my purpose here? It is but to keep the nerves at  strain, to dry one’s eyes and laugh at a fall, and baffled, get up and begin  again. -Robert Browning

Today I wear Chanel Rouge Coco Shine in Suspense which again is this purply hot pink shade cool for summer. These lipsticks are cross between a lipstick and a gloss, are moisturizing and you can hardly feel them on your lips. They have great colors but go on more sheer than what you see in the tube. I love them! I chose Suspense for both the color and the name. Life is fun and living with excitement and suspense at how the day goes and who you might meet sounds like a blast, doesn’t it? Cheers!

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Smile

13 May

Anna166

Last week I was in Seattle working a display booth for my company. I was there almost the entire week with a few co-workers and thousands of strangers from different countries. It was a long week spent talking and smiling but a couple of awesome things happened. On the first day I stumbled upon a Facebook post from a good friend and former co-worker who I hadn’t seen in over 10 years. We have kept in touch off and on over the years and when I arrived in Seattle we both realized we were working at the same conference for different companies, what are the chances of that? Seattle also happened to be the same place where we met! Anyhow, we scheduled a dinner together on one of our free night and were able to catch up on our lives, families, and where our careers have led us since being ‘down-sized’ 10 years ago. It is always so great to see and touch base with old friends; a great reminder of how time flies and how different people continually come in and out of our lives at different times.

Another great thing that came to my attention while seeking the magic, once again, was the power of eye contact and a smile. Literally with thousands of people around and hundreds of display booths, people appeared to not want to be bothered. Now I’m not saying there were people who were rushing to get from one place to another, but most people, no matter what country they were from, would stop to talk with just a friendly greeting, a smile, and eye contact. I had several great conversations both business and in general, and overall, people left with an ‘easier’ demeanor and a smile. ‘Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of  love’~Mother Teresa. Sometimes we only get one moment to make a positive impact on someone’s life, don’t you want people to walk away from you with a positive experience? Yes, a smile crossed all language barriers last week. People like contact with other people, they want to talk to someone who will listen and make them feel important, if even for a moment.

Today I wear Tarte LipSurgence Skintuitive Lip Tint in Energy. Now, you all know I love Dior Addict Lip Glow because it feels like a balm but brings out a natural pink shade of your lips, but this Tarte Lip Tint absolutely rivals that! The Tarte Lip Tint brings out a deeper and bolder berry color in my lips and as you know, Tarte has no parabens, phthalates, etc..I think the Dior Addict is more moisturizing but they are both beautiful and since they bring out your natural color, the color is always right for you! Cheers!

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Friends

18 Apr

sunrise

Last weekend I spent some time with two friends I hadn’t seen for almost 17 years. We met when they were both young moms and I was just a newlywed. For about 5 years these girls and I met at least once a week sometimes 3-4 times, we shared struggles, vulnerabilities, lots of laughter and life. I was the first to move away (which was extremely difficult at the time), Dawn and her family was next to move, while Leanna stayed in the same area with her family. Thanks to Facebook and email, we have been able to keep in touch here and there and I have been able to watch their families expand and grow in every Christmas card I received. This year we finally took the extra step to coordinate our busy schedules to get together for a weekend in Chicago and I am so glad we did. We looked a little bit older, but our friendship seemed to start exactly where it left off. I still felt the closeness we shared years ago and we were able to talk as mothers and wives sharing laughter and tears. It was so refreshing to be able to let go and be authentic with good friends who share the same faith and whom I trust wholeheartedly. Friends like that are few and far between and I feel blessed.photo

Isn’t that what we lack these days? Life can get so busy and those kind of deep relationships take time. When you throw in the complexities and insecurities of women, it makes it even more difficult. Here’s the disconnect, those are the kinds of relationships people crave, right? I know I do. How do we get there? Time, yes, but also trust. I have met many people these days who require one to earn their trust, what if that never happens because there’s no time? I choose to trust first. It may be the wrong approach and it may leave me heartbroken but I can’t live any other way. How can relationships get deeper if no one wants to hold out their hand and be vulnerable? That’s my challenge to you and to myself also, take a chance on people, we need each other.

Today I wear MAC Sheen Supreme lipstick in Insanely It. These are probably the most moisturizing of the MAC lipsticks; somewhere between a lipstick and a gloss. They have lots of color and yet because of the consistency, it can be worn sheer. When I first saw this color which looks like a bright hot pink I thought there was no way it would look good on me. Surprisingly, I love it and I know it will be a favorite through spring and summer! So yes, the name is accurate, this hot watermelon pink is Insanely It!  Cheers!

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Taking A Break

25 Feb

2013-02-19 05.17.29

Last week we spent a week in paradise. We got out of the cold and snowy Michigan weather and took a trip to beautiful Punta Cana. The weather was perfect; hot and sunny everyday, the sand was white and the ocean was beautiful and blue. Everyday was spent by the pool and beach and it was precious time spent with my family. Looking at the kids I realize that we only have a few years left with my oldest before he’s an adult; time slips by so fast. It was a great break from the cold but also the monotony of every day, busy life. I took some time to really think about everything that has happened over the past few weeks with the blood test and ultrasound and I couldn’t help feeling a little sad. If you read my Dear Cancer letter you knew that just a few weeks ago it was anger that I was feeling, but today, not so much. I guess I’m sad because this whole cancer/cancer survivor/possible cancer story will always be a part of my life, but not just me, those around me too. There were times on this vacation that I had trouble breathing. Whether it was the humidity, allergies, whatever it was, it was that constant reminder that cancer had taken something from me and I was sad. Another thing I noticed, which made me even more sad, was that I feel like I’m losing my smile (metaphorically speaking). Previous to all of this cancer stuff, I had no problems keeping a smile on my face but now, at times, it feels a little like a struggle and I hate it. Maybe it’s just now but I can’t really tell. I am desperately seeking out the magic and the blessing in every day and I still find it, but my smile seems to be fading a little. Anyhow, I guess it’s that whole cancer roller coaster that I can’t seem to get off of completely.2013-02-17 22.15.05

Just to update you all on what’s going on, since the ultrasound didn’t show any sizable tumors and my number was only elevated by a small number, my doctor thought that it was not a medical necessity to do the PET scan yet, but he said as soon as my insurance will cover it (October), he will schedule it right away. So now, we wait…again. I thought I would be able to forget about it for awhile because I trust my doctor and his decision, but the thought of that elevated number keeps popping into my mind. If you’re a praying person, I’m asking for a little peace until October. I trust in God’s plan and I’m mainly praying for the peace and the freedom to live every day to the fullest…with an easy smile on my face. Thank you for walking with me on my lipstick journey.

Today I wear YSL Golden Gloss in Golden Shell which is a sheer pinky beige color. First of all, these glosses have real gold flecks in them and are a little pricey, but I LOVE them. The texture, color, and consistency of these are awesome! They have some vibrant colors that I also own and they are all beautiful and can be worn on their own or on top of lipstick. I chose Golden Shell because it reminded me of the sand on the beach. Cheers!

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Open Up

12 Dec

smile

This past weekend we celebrated Christmas in Indiana with my father in law and my husbands’ two brothers and their families. His youngest brother is engaged to be married next month and I finally had a chance to meet the newest member to join our family. She is great and I’m so excited to have her in the family. This week I am in Chicago for another meeting with my new company and there are even more people to meet as well as others from before that I am able to get to know more. Isn’t that great? I believe that people come in and out of our lives for a reason. Prior to cancer I was more shy and I guess ‘distant’,  keeping people at arms length…you know, the facade stage, nothing deeper. Now, everything has changed and I want to dive in and know people’s stories. In light of that, some of you have read my book and have been reading my blog for a long time and you know mostly about my cancer journey. Today, in an effort to ‘let you in’ and know me better (besides the fact you already know I love lipstick) I thought I’d list some things you didnt know about me:

1. Besides lipstick,  I also love chocolate and all things carbs (bread, crackers, cookies, etc)
2. My first kiss was Shawn Cassidy, the album cover, which I kept under my pillow
3. My first crush was in second grade to a boy named Russell. For Valentines Day he gave me a pretend makeup kit ….was this the start of my lipstick love?
4. I am a total introvert and generally shy, which is why I love acting
5. I don’t enjoy cooking and if I didn’t have kids I believe my husband and I could survive on cereal and toast
6. I have a degree in science which I struggled with after I changed my major from Music
7. Chopin is my favorite classical composer. His music is very emotional
8. Every day from 1st grade through 12th grade I brought a peanut butter sandwich to school (Jiffy peanut butter on Wonder bread)
9. I hate spiders…no, all bugs really
10. I’m allergic to cats, therefore I am a dog person
11. I ran away from home once when I was a teenager but only for a few hours at the mall (sorry mom and dad)
12. My first job was at Burger King. I was 14 1/2 and have not really stopped working since
13. I didn’t enjoy reading books until after college. Cliff notes were my best friend
14. I hate talking on the phone; texting was made for me
15. I’ve kept a journal since I was 9

That’s it for now, just some basics. Do we have anything in common? I’d love to get to know all of you too. Tell me your stories!

Today I am keeping it simple and wearing Burt’s Bees tinted lip balm in Rose. I love it. It’s moisturizing and smooth, all natural, and inexpensive. Rose gives me just a pop of color. I of course have Red Dahlia too which I love. Keep opening yourselves to new people, it softens your heart. Cheers!

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Common Thread

6 Nov

“You may have noticed that the books you really love are bound together by a secret thread. You know very well what is the common quality that makes you love them, though you cannot put it into words…” CS Lewis

I’ve been in a little funk lately, just feeling kind of ‘gray’. I guess it is a normal thing for cancer/former cancer patients to feel when on a downswing wondering which direction life is leading them (I think it’s normal for everyone). Anyhow, over the past few years I have run into many people affected by cancer; cancer survivors/fighters and those that support them. As I thought about the quote by CS Lewis, I believe you can find a common thread in people who you are attracted to, or close friends; but speaking to ‘cancer’ people, there are definitely commonalities. Here are some to think about:

*Fighter.Survivor.Strong.Courageous. All great labels, but sometimes we either don’t want the name (figher/survivor) or don’t feel like we’ve done anything to deserve the name (strong/courageous). We simply did what we had to do and rose to the occasion.

*For those of us who have survived, we wonder what our greater purpose is.

*We don’t stress too much about small stuff or really very much of anything.

*We expect the best from people, honesty, love, no games

*Sometimes we want to just spend the money, we wonder why we’re saving

*We are more fearless and take more risks

*We are more emotional because we have been broken

*We like peace

*We get nervous with every little change in our body, even if its allergies or a cold. We are very aware of EVERY change and wonder if it’s the cancer or a side effect of the treatment

*We realize that while the world around us has generally stayed the same, we are forever changed

*Time is everything and checking items off that bucket list is now a priority

It’s a tough journey and I would have rather not been part of it, but we don’t get to choose. Looking at the list it seems everyone, cancer or not, would have those common threads. Why must a life-changing illness remind is to keep life simple?

Today I wear Bobbi Brown lipstick in Raisin. I love Bobbi lipsticks for both their moisturizing, color, texture…really, they are just great lipsticks.  It’s a medium brown/plum shade that I love. Raisin has been my go-to color for at least 10 years, keeping it simple today. Cheers!

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