Lost and Found

12 Jun

There are certain things I have lost and that I miss because of my cancer and all the complications associated with it.  I miss running, dancing, swimming, and even riding a bike with my kids without having any breathing difficulty.  I miss some of my taste buds, so now, something has to be very sweet, very spicy, or very sour for me to taste.  I miss being warm on a warm day because my thyroid is no longer there to help control my internal temperature.  I miss having a sore throat and not having to wonder if the cancer is back once again.  I miss coughing without having people try to stay away from me because it’s so loud and uncontrolled or having my kids worry about me from the sound of the cough.  I miss being able to talk all day and sing whatever I want with ease all night and still have a voice with no sore throat.  I miss sleeping on my left side because I am a side sleeper, but now when I sleep on my left I choke and cough because of all the scar tissue on that side.  I miss my right vocal chord which if it were still functioning, I could talk better, sing better, and breathe better.

On the other hand, I have found many beautiful things.  I have found a deeper understanding of me and the world around me.  I have found a new love for people, their histories, and their stories.  I have found people that truly care and deeper friendships.  I have found a greater appreciation of time and a greater passion for life and every moment.  I have found a deeper faith in God and inner strength I never even knew I had.  I have found a new and strong voice in my writing.  In the end, I have found courage.

So no, cancer did not take away from me, it gave my heart more life.  For this I wear Christian Dior #773, Rouge Podium.  It’s a color that’s hard to describe…pink/orange/red?  It’s not as bright as it sounds.  It’s the first lipstick my husband has ever complimented me on (and he hates bright lipstick).  He says it brightens up my face and reminds him of a summer day.  That’s why I wear it, for sunnier days ahead!


10 Responses to “Lost and Found”

  1. Diana June 15, 2011 at 10:11 pm #

    I just read your blog and it made me cry for you and then I read on and I stopped to thank God for you! He is teaching you many difficult lessons and you are learning to gain your strength from the creator who is our source of all we need. I heard a saying long time ago….be patient with me God is not finished with me yet! How true with your life. You are loved.

    • lipstickjourney June 17, 2011 at 2:56 pm #

      Thank you Diana! I cried while writing this but I do know I am definitely blessed!

  2. snadra tyler April 22, 2012 at 8:49 pm #

    Love your lipstick posts. Brilliant.

    • Anna April 22, 2012 at 10:14 pm #

      Thank You!

  3. Jo April 22, 2012 at 11:37 pm #

    +This is one of your loveliest posts and I love them all. ♥

    • Anna April 23, 2012 at 7:42 am #

      Thanks Jo, you’re too kind!

  4. Word Nerd April 23, 2012 at 1:28 pm #

    I’m so glad you chose this one! It is positive and beautiful–a wonderful representation of you.

    • Anna April 23, 2012 at 4:20 pm #

      Thank you Beth!

  5. Portia S. Andrade August 8, 2012 at 9:32 pm #

    Hi Anna!! I just start reading your blogs…. Would I say that I lost my daughter and found understanding with the person having it? It was hard but eventually I can say that cancer is not bad at all…May your husband continue compliment the color of your lips..God bless!

    • Anna August 8, 2012 at 9:34 pm #

      Thank you Portia! He actually has an opinion on lipcolor now because of mw! God bless!

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