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Roller Coaster

26 Jul

Well, we are drawing on a close on week 3 of training for my new job.  I have been away from home for the majority of the three weeks.  I can’t say that it’s been fun and exciting, but I can say I have heard so many stories of people, where they came from, their hardships and trials, and why they are where they are today.  I have also made some lifelong friends.  Many know about my book, but most don’t know that I currently am living with cancer in my neck.  It’s been a little bit of a struggle to maintain composure, but generally since the atmosphere is high stress, it has been a great distraction.  Which brings me to my next point, going home.  I found out my cancer returned one week before coming here and have not really been able to completely process the information.  Now, going home is bittersweet because now, I have to go back to dealing with my recent diagnosis.  It’s reality.  Am I mad, sad, dumbfounded? Of course, all of the above and now I have to deal with it.  I don’t feel I have the strength for a fourth time but I know God is there and I know I have to.  What saddens me is that I feel my smile fading.  Hope is now a little more difficult for me but it’s all I have and I have to continue trusting God.  I’m also sad about having to put my family and friends through all of this again, it’s such a roller coaster and I want off because I’m seriously getting motion sickness.

On a lighter note, I went on a lipstick trip with a few of the gals from here.  It was great fun and they all loved the colors we picked together.  I know I am here for a reason and for a purpose specific to me.  I still love God and I believe I still have some fight in me, although at this point I may have to dig a little deeper.  I am excited to see what lies ahead because truly, it has been an amazing adventure.

Today I wear Estee Lauder Pure Color lipgloss in Plum Divine simply because it’s beautiful.  Life is beautiful.

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