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Popularity

2 Nov

 

I was never very popular in school.  I wasn’t the prettiest or the most witty, no, I was the super shy, quiet, smart girl that sat in the middle of class; not in the front, not in the back.  I was not really invited to any parties and never really had a date until my senior year.  The only time my shyness was banished was when I sang.  Music stirred my heart, and my emotions were always transported through my voice.  I was not really depressed about not being part of the popular crowd because I was kind to everyone and had many friends because of that.  The flip side to that is that I was (and still am somewhat) a people pleaser.  Now, I have three kids, one of which is a teenager who just recently asked me about popularity.  He is the starting quarterback for the football team but he asked why it feels like all the trouble makers seem to be the popular kids.  I tried to do the ‘don’t worry about it be kind to others and be confident in yourself’ talk, but I remember feeling the same way.  It is so hard.

Recently, I’ve had to deal with a situation at work where I had to stand up to something that disturbed the status quo.  It has been very difficult for me.  I haven’t slept that well, and I’ve lost weight from the stress.  I realized that in my quest to ‘go along with things’ or to be popular, I have lost my own opinion and ‘gumption’.  For me, wanting to be popular equates to wanting to be liked by everyone and with my work situation, there are definitely people that will not be pleased in the end.  It is virtually impossible to please everyone and to be liked by everyone.  I told my son that more important than being popular is knowing who you are and what you believe in.  Popularity changes with each second of the clock so it’s critical to be true to yourself and stand on the foundation that God made everyone unique. I stepped forward at work and said something ,and even though I’m stressed about the decision, I know it was the right thing to do.  It’s a risk to be yourself, not caring whether your opinion is well liked or not, but it’s important.  Don’t lose your voice just to be liked or popular.  We were all created for a unique purpose and if we try to be like someone else, we lose a little. 

Today I wear Lancome’ Color Design lipstick in Curtain Call.  It is a sheer deep raspberry which looks amazing on my medium skintone, it’s great for the season.  Not only is it a great color, it’s got a great name.  This is your curtain call.  Wouldn’t it be great to come out as you?

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6 Responses to “Popularity”

  1. Jo November 3, 2011 at 12:14 am #

    I have been ME for many years now and I clearly recall the period where I tried to figure out who exactly I was supposed to be. I didn’t really think much about what others thought, I really never have, but I did wonder if I was being WHO I was meant to be or was I just being whatever was easy. I decided I had too many opinions to be quiet and I slowly developed the ability to speak with confidence about things that mattered to me. It has served me well.
    This is a very raw blog and I appreciate your angst about speaking your mind, but please know that you must do that if you are to have self-assurance and peace.

  2. Kathy November 3, 2011 at 11:58 am #

    I searched a long time to find the real me. Thankfully I really came into my own after I turned 40. Let’s just say…it took me a while. Wonderful blog!

    Kathy
    http://gigglingtruckerswife.blogspot.com/

  3. drchoneydew November 3, 2011 at 1:16 pm #

    i LOVE this color on you (raspberry TRUTH) an i bet all of your family does TOO!
    (now i am curious to what the situation was..hehe) GREAT BLOG

  4. Beverly Diehl November 3, 2011 at 4:39 pm #

    Better to be stressed about the outcome of something you felt was right to do/say, than be stressed by something you knew was right to say/do but swallowed down.

    The one person we all have to face every day is ourselves. Good for you for doing what you know was right.

    Weird, being not particularly popular but having a (fairly) popular kid, which is where I found myself. Luckily my son, like yours, still had his head on straight, and made a point of befriending kids who were new to the school, outcasts, etc. Used to have a houseful of very interesting young people around, from jocks to musicians to AV geeks.

  5. Beth November 4, 2011 at 9:40 pm #

    YES! Being true to ourselves is always the right thing to do. Not always the easiest, but always the best.

  6. Kelly Allen November 5, 2011 at 5:01 pm #

    Yep, me too, big shy kid, but once I embraced my snarkey personality, I got uber happy.
    (The flying public is terrified, but I’m happy.) Now I’m off to find that fabulous deep raspberry shade!

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