Tag Archives: breathing

The Gift

22 May

relaymom
Last weekend I walked in the local Relay For Life for the 4th year in a row. The first year I walked was the same year I fought cancer for the third time. It was a special time for me because I had just finished my treatment a few months before and I was asked to share my story and sing as the walk started. Every year has been special and emotional. Since I’ve been cancer free for some time now I felt pretty strong and confident starting the survivor lap. I was caught off guard at first by the change in t-shirt design. This year, each shirt listed ‘survivor’ or ‘in the survivorbackfight’ on the back. Looking around and seeing people of all ages (including kids) whose shirts said ‘in the fight’ really overwhelmed me, then hearing the applause from the people in various booths really threw me over the edge and I could no longer hold the emotion, I started to cry. During the survivor lap we are allowed to have a caregiver walk with us, this year, like the other years, my mom walked with me and it happened to also be her 70th birthday. I can’t imagine how she was feeling while her child was sick, I don’t know if I could be as strong as her. She was the primary caregiver for both me and my kids throughout my journey and I am so grateful.

It’s really strange, but for as much joy I was feeling about being there for another Relay event, I felt a little sadness. I was sad a little about how much my life has changed, and sad about some of the things cancer took away from me; no longer confident about my body, the difficulty breathing, the fear that cancer may come back, etc. I was also sad looking around at all the families affected by cancer, young and old; seeing the kids, then seeing the elderly woman who had ‘in the fight’ on the back of her shirt walking the slowest, being held up by her husband walking with her. I am incredibly thankful for my friends and family members that were always around to help; taking me to appointments, praying with me, the meals, the laughs, the care packages, even the lipstick…truly incredible people. Although cancer will always be part of my story, the Relay For Life is always a time I remember and reflect on all the events that continue to shape me today. Cancer seems to be the gift that keeps on giving. It brought back friends from the past plus even more friends, more opportunities, it brought the best out in most people. I saw kindness, generosity, hope. It gave me the gift of opening my eyes to a fragile life, the beauty of people and moments and stories; more passion for life and compassion for people. It made me more aware of my body and the various shifts and changes. It helped me focus on the positive things in my life as well as the things that needed to change. Cancer gave me the push to move forward with dreams and goals; less fear and less stress about the things that that truly don’t matter. Yes, cancer is that gift that keeps on giving. I would’ve chosen not to have cancer for sure, but we all deal with different things in life. ‘For a lot of people, Superman is and has always been America’s hero. He stands for what we believe is the best within us: limitless strength tempered by compassion, that can bear adversity and emerge stronger on the other side. He stands for what we all feel we would like to be able to stand for, when standing is hardest.’~J. Michael Straczynski Standing was hard but I’ve always wanted to be Wonderwoman!wonderwoman
Today it’s Marc Jacobs Beauty Lovemarc Lip Gel in Surrender Dorothy. These lipsticks are creamy and moisturizing despite being labeled long lasting. I do prefer the Marc Jacobs glosses a little better but these are great too. This color red (more orange red than blue red). Life is crazy and can throw some curveballs…surrender. Cheers!

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Moments

15 May

2012-07-02 11.07.09

Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes,Five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear.Five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes,how do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee. In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.In five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes,how do you measure, a year in the life?-Seasons of Love, Rent

I really love those lyrics. I know I’ve used them in my blog before but they just never get old and it’s a reminder that life is short and time just ticks away. How do we measure a year in the life? I’ve been crazy busy the past few weeks with work and the upswing of kids activities that I really haven’t had time to think. As I sat to write a blog the thought crossed my mind that nothing significant happened this week, just a regular, busy week, but I really had to stop for a moment because that wasn’t true. Life happened this week. A friend’s dad passed away a couple weeks ago and I was able to meet up with him and give him a hug in person, my daughter was inducted into the honors society and got an award for awesome grades, my youngest son had a baseball game and pitched a no hitter for two innings straight, I met some fantastic new people through work, and I worked out and finalized plans to reunite with great friends once again in Chicago soon. Looking back, it was an ordinary week with extraordinary moments. Did you catch that? Moments. A smile, eye contact, a hug, a good night’s sleep…all moments that when put together make an extraordinary week if you open your eyes to see it. I spoke to another cancer survivor today who was told just recently that she was cancer free. She said that she’s tired from all the treatments and she’s nervous about cancer returning in the future but she’s ok, ‘it is what it is’ (recall I really don’t like that phrase, but it’s true some times). She is now more focused on quality of life instead of quantity of life…Amen to that. Do you measure your life in inches, miles, sunsets, cups of coffee? Take in the moments or you just might miss out. Each passing moment becomes the past!Anna166

Today I wear Laura Mercier Lip Glace’ in Wildflower which is like a hot pink/red. I LOVE these glosses! They are packed with color and are super moisturizing but not sticky at all. This color is great for spring and summer. Some of the colors are more sheer but this one is not and seems to be more long lasting on me but without the dry factor. Be a wildflower and seize the day! Cheers!

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Make a Friend

3 May

image
I just watched a video on YouTube called ‘Take a seat, make a friend‘. Essentially the makers of the video set up one of those enclosed spaces filled with balls that kids jump into at places like Chuck E Cheese or at play areas, you know what I’m talking about? Anyhow, buried in the ‘tank’ are questions, two strangers climb in, pull out questions and ask them to each other. A couple things were interesting, first, people actually stopped in the middle of the street to get in the tank, and second, by the end of the questions they mostly had found something in common and were hugging good-bye. I’ve been traveling a bit lately for vacation and work. I’m the person on the plane that sits down and looks down, not really wanting to talk to anyone, just get me to my destination. Rude I know, I’ve even pretended to read or fall asleep. To be honest I feel a little claustrophobic and I also get a little queasy on a plane so I’m already at a disadvantage. A little over a month ago I flew to New Orleans to do a cancer talk and for the first time in a long time engaged in conversation with the people I sat in the middle of (not because of me really, I was still looking down). The conversation was great, the stories were awesome, and I left there feeling like I met new friends (I still keep in contact with one of them on occasion). This past week I was on an airplane again for work and when I sat in my seat I decided at the very least to introduce myself to the person next to me. I said hello and asked why she was headed in the same direction. She tells me her name, says she studies people and human behavior (which piqued my interest), then says, ‘I have a lot of work to do,’ turns pulls out a notebook and buries her face in her book. WHAT??? Made me laugh. She says she researches people but doesn’t want to talk. Oh well, I tried, I thought the interaction was funny. Here’s what I learned from the video, people still like face to face interaction, and if given the time, most of us can find something in common. It’s still great to look someone in the eyes, shake their hands, hug them. We do a lot of communicating on line, email, text, and I LOVE it, but we’re starting to miss out a little on the souls we get to see in each other’s eyes…that human touch and interaction. Don’t forget, we need each other, live and in person too.
“Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around.”~Leo Buscaglia

Today I wear Tarte Amazonian Butter Lipstick in Poppy. These are like the name, buttery. Feels a little heavier than lip balm and super moisturizing. Tarte lipsticks are all natural and these are made with Amazonian butter (which somehow sounds better than Detroit butter?). They are also in a cute floral lipstick tube. The colors don’t last quite as long but that’s what happens sometimes when you choose something more buttery. It says that Poppy is a warm red but on me shows up a little brighter but perfect for spring/summer…which I know will eventually happen here in Michigan. I chose it specifically for the color because I’m so ready for warmer weather! Cheers!

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Just Rambling

16 Apr

2014-04-10 08.45.07
Sometimes relationships end not because you want to but because you have to. Sometimes it’s opening your eyes to the reality that the story you had longed for had not only turned a different direction but was never really the story to begin with. We all enter relationships in different times of our lives; I’m talking friendships all the way to marriage. We come into things based on the information we have about the other person and what we think we know about ourselves, our needs, and our expectations. What if the information we thought about the other person was way off and over time the rose colored glasses became clearer and clearer? What if it’s because we ourselves become different people; stronger and braver because we now have a voice and self worth along with it? What if you pour your entire soul and being into someone only to realize it didn’t matter because that person would not be different, that they would just expect more? Here’s what happens in that scenario, your soul dies a little, you become numb, and when you can’t possibly give more, do more, be more, you’re done and spent. It is not about forgiveness, it’s about exhaustion from expecting something that couldn’t be. What counts more, words or actions? Words can kill, but actions speak a thousand words, therefore, you can die a thousand deaths just from one terrible action right? A lot of talk and apologies lead nowhere when actions are at the opposing end. Regrets? Never. Everything and everyone has it’s purpose in our lives during different seasons to make us better, wiser, stronger, or even to help the other person. I love people and I love their stories but sometimes they have stories I would rather not be a part of. Frank Herbert says, ‘There is no real ending. It’s just the place where you stop the story.’ Here’s the beautiful thing about life…it moves on. Every day and every moment is your chance to write a new page. Every relationship is a chance to learn more about yourself, whether that person is in your life for an hour or for years doesn’t matter because every interaction leaves an impact of some sort. One thing I learned, be the person you see in the mirror, your bad-ass self (sorry, had to use that word again). God created you unique and special, believe it.

Today it’s Dior Addict Gloss in Princess. I love all Dior lips products because the colors are beautiful and all of the lipsticks and glosses are quite moisturizing. I chose Princess because it’s a pretty sheer carnation pink that’s easy to wear and also for the name. It’s good to remind yourself every now and then that you’re a princess of the One who created you, now put that crown on! Cheers!

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Write

14 Apr

2014-04-10 08.43.57
Well hello again! I know it’s been awhile but I was on a much needed vacation away with my kids. It was one of the most relaxing and enjoyable vacations we’ve had in a while, the kids didn’t even argue with one another (which is a feat in and of itself with teen siblings cramped into one room and seeing each other 24/7). Everyday, great weather, beachfront hotel, and no agenda. If I could do that for the rest of my life I would probably die smiling, but alas, most (including myself) do not have that luxury. Clearly someone has to pay the bills. Anyhow, I just got back last night so I am a bit brain-dead at the moment so for now you will have to read my disconnected ramblings. Why is it that coming home from a vacation warrants another vacation? I’m tired today and for the last 5 days, I’ve done nothing! Why do shells on keychains and conch night lights look so amazing when sold on a boardwalk on the beach making you feel like you have to have one? Why does a hotel that owns their part of the beach charge for chairs and umbrellas then taxes you for them? Just sayin’…shouldn’t it be first come, first serve? Why can’t I sleep in (still up at 6am on vacation)? Why is snow in the forecast tomorrow in the middle of April when it’s 70 degrees today? It’s all craziness.

Last weekend I went through my collection of cards and letters. I generally keep everything that’s been hand written to me. I read every card sent or given to me through my cancer journey;I read encouraging notes and thank you cards I’ve received over the past 25 years. I also found birthday cards and mother’s day cards hand made by my kids. One in particular made me burst into tears. It was from my youngest Alex. I first got cancer Alexletterwhen Alex started kindergarten and it was his Mom’s Day card which said a couple things. First, “If I could buy my mom anything for Mother’s Day I would buy her a get well present,” and second, “If I could wave a magic wand and make some nice things come true for my mother my wish would be to heal her neck

Notice the scar on my neck?

Notice the scar on my neck?

and make her talk.” There is power in the written word. Don’t get me wrong, I love social media, but we have lost the art of written communication. I happened upon a cause called ‘The world needs more love letters.’ It’s not about being Shakespeare, Yeats, or Browning. It is about being encouraging and loving to those who need to hear it (so…everyone basically). This organization (moreloveletters.com) leaves letters both randomly and not so random, but their mission is simple, to lift, empower, and mobilize individuals through tangible acts of love…a written letter. I know that after reading notes from my kids as well as all the encouraging notes from people through the years who I’ve met, who have heard me sing, or through my cancer journey, I felt supported and uplifted. It’s so simple to write a note and so awesome to receive one. When’s the last time you got a card or an encouraging note in the mail by surprise? Awesome isn’t it? Let’s start writing again, I know I have. Every week I’ll be writing a least one ‘love note’ to someone…if I know your address watch out! If I don’t have your address and you need encouraging words, let me know (lipstickjourney@att.net). The point though is to hand write something for someone else. Ever since they were born, I have hand written a letter to each of my kids on their birthday. I tell them what they’re like and what I’m most proud and amazed about. They are sealed so I can’t ‘edit’, but I can’t wait to give those to my kids on each of their 18th birthdays. Letters are among the most significant memorial a person can leave behind them~Johann Wolfgang von Goethe
A letter is a blessing, a great and all-too-rare privilege that can turn a private moment into an exalted experience~Alexandra Stoddard

Write more letters!

Today I wear straight up Aquaphor. This stuff is great because you can use it on your hands, elbows, feet, and your face. I kind of burned my face and lips a little on vacation so this heavier version of Vaseline will be it for me this week! Cheers!

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Flawed

4 Apr

zit (2)
I have a zit, a pimple, a clogged pore…right in between my eyes. You know when you look left or right, when something is in your peripheral vision? Yup, it’s right there, can you see it in the picture? I used to break out as a teen, then when I was pregnant, but it’s been awhile. Even my kids said, ‘Whoa, what is that?’ when they saw me. This week I met up with a friend who I literally haven’t spoken to for almost 30 years. We knew each other as kids and practically grew up together but after high school our paths rarely crossed again…until now. Tons of time had passed but we did not miss a beat, just threw all of our past and current struggles out on the table and wondered why it took so long to reconnect. Life usually gets in the way I guess but again, people come in and out of our lives at exactly the right time; whether it’s because we need them, they need us, or we need each other.

Here’s what I learned (because there’s always a lesson), no matter how we look, what we do, whatever life circumstances we may be in, we all generally want the same exact thing…to be loved and validated. I found it interesting to be looking and listening to a beautiful friend and great mom who was on a very different path then me over the past 20+ years and even now, yet the struggles at the core are still the same. The same holds true for others too; to be loved and validated, it’s that search for significance. Listening to her I realized we had been looking for the same thing but in different ways, for her it was in the ‘doing’, doing for others above and beyond to get that acceptance or even maybe being physically fit so people would accept the external. For me, it’s making sure others are happy around me, being positive, being that people-pleaser sometimes at my own expense, giving up what I truly want to make sure the other person is ‘pleased’, and to some extent ‘doing’ also. One of the many lessons I learned through cancer and life is that sometimes, no, most of the time, that is never enough. The same people you try to please or go above and beyond to ‘do’ for are the ones that will turn on you the next day. So here’s the deal, be yourself, love yourself, and get your validation from God because He made you exactly how you were supposed to be. If we seek significance, love, and validation from other people we will always be disappointed, I don’t waste my time too much anymore because I know life is fleeting.

So back to my zit. My friend said something to me that kind of astounded me. She said she has seen me from afar and has been reading my blog for quite some time. She said that she always thought I was perfect; perfect person, perfect life, perfect family, etc. No, no , NO!!! No one is perfect! We all have junk and most of it lies inside of us. We are all flawed whether it’s external like the pimple smack dab in the middle of my face for all to see, or the soul that constantly struggles on the inside that no one sees. Thank God we are all flawed, can you imagine? We are all less than perfect which is why our love, validation, and significance need to come from God. He knows us, He made us, and He already loves us no matter what. I’m constantly blown away by all the people I meet and talk to, the stories are sad, exciting, hopeful…’We become not a melting pot but a beautiful mosaic. Different people, different beliefs, different yearnings, different hopes, different dreams.’~Jimmy Carter

Today I wear my old standby Dior Lip Glow with Dior Lip Polish on top. LOVE the lip glow, it’s like a balm that brings out the natural pink in your lips. The Lip polish is like a gloss but it actually fills in the lines and plumps your lips a little. The two together are simply awesome! Cheers!

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Passion vs Paycheck?

18 Mar

2013-07-03 04.44.07
There was an article I read years ago right around the time the Detroit economy took a dive. It basically shot out a statistic that 80% of Americans actually hate their jobs. The question at the end was ‘Do you pick passion over paycheck?’ The article added that without passion, people will be choosing between the lesser of two stresses: stress from being unemployed versus the stress of being in a dead-end job.

Lately I’ve met a few people who are doing things they absolutely love…and getting paid for it. They may or may not be the most lucrative careers but I see the joy and passion in their eyes of doing what they love. There’s my neighbor/hair phenom with her own salon, the make-up artist who views every face as an empty and beautiful canvas, the artist I met last week, the lawyer turned IT genius and loving it; people all around me doing things they love or switching careers to pursue passion. Every interaction I have with one of these people leaves me wondering about myself and what I’ve done to pursue the things I’m most passionate about. We all wonder if we’re doing what we we’re created to do, if we’re living our purpose, or just staying safe. I think there has to be a balance of course, you can be passionate but not gifted (think American Idol, X-factor, etc. they all think they’re great). I’ve been in sales my whole career life, am I passionate about it? No. Do I enjoy it? Sure. I look at it this way, everyday is a chance to talk to a bunch of people I otherwise may never meet, attitude goes a long way. As life continues to press on with all the stressors attached we tend to push our passions aside and maybe even forget what it is that makes our hearts beat faster. For me, it was always music, singing and dance. My heart still beats fast when I hear a great tune, I sometimes see choreography in my head too. I know I was good at one time but cancer has taken part of my voice and age has made me a little less flexible; passion for music will never go away for me. I do believe though that as we ‘do’ life new passions can arise. I now have new passions for being the best mom, for people’s stories, for writing, and of course, for finding or even creating the perfect lipstick! Billy Graham said,’The greatest surprise of my life is the brevity of life.’ So very true, we have one life and it is oh so short. So do we just quit our jobs and pursue our passions? It depends, we have responsibilities mixed in too, but I think we can do a bit of both, living in the now of what we have. And yeah, I still want to be a rockstar, who doesn’t?

Pretending to be a Rockstar

Pretending to be a Rockstar


‘Don’t search for the answers, which could not be given to you now, because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps then, someday far in the future, you will gradually, without even noticing it, live your way into the answer.’~ Rainer Maria Rilke, Letters to a Young Poet

Today I wear Giorgio Armani Rouge Ecstasy Lipstick in 301-Gio. These lipsticks are pretty close to perfect. Longer lasting, great color, and moisturizing. Clearly I didn’t choose the color for it’s name (hate when there’s not a fun name attached to a lipstick), but this color is FUN! Kind of a coral-ly/red…perfect pop of color for summer,ok,spring. LIVE EVERYTHING! Cheers!

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The Stories…

13 Mar

nola
Last weekend I had the opportunity to tell my story to a group of young physicians at a national meeting in New Orleans. It’s been awhile since I’ve spoken about my story from beginning to end so as always it was cathartic. I think it may have been the first time I didn’t cry while telling talk14it too. I was with a few other survivors/fighters who shared their stories as well and it was amazing to me how no two stories were alike, or for that matter, similar. Everyone’s cancer, diagnosis, age, treatment, results, etc. were so different, but the emotions were all the same. We were all scared, we all needed support, and we all relied on our doctors and other experts for answers. There is an instantaneous bond between people who have fought the big ‘C’, hard to explain. There is also strength and confidence that I can see in the eyes of those who have fought and won; I’d like to think I have that (remember my bad ass self from my last blog?). Anyway, it was a fantastic opportunity and I met some really amazing people.meandfran

You know how I always say ‘everyone has a story?’ I actually met someone who said the exact same thing to me. Not only was the talk amazing but truly the weekend was a great reminder of how we meet people all the time and behind the eyes there’s an amazing story. I took a friend of mine to New Orleans with me and our first encounter was the guy at security at the airport; I stopped and spoke to him briefly (no, there was no line so it was ok); he was 60+ years old, about to retire, lost his savings, needed a job, so now drives 1.5 hours to work at this airport. He was a gem. Then the kid who sat next to me on the first leg of the trip. We caught each other playing Candy Crush and laughed about it. He was off to Texas to visit his best friend stationed there. He himself decided to go to college but was on ROTC scholarship and he hadn’t seen his friend in over a year. He said he had the chance to do Spring Break in Florida with his other friends but decided this relationship was more important. I wanted to hug him. On the second leg I was in between the grandma/college librarian from Iowa who married her high school sweetheart who was an All State and college wrestler and the artist and dreamer from Arizona who taught me that dreaming big should be the norm and if you think you can do something, what’s stopping you. Thank you Arizona for the reminder! I can’t tell you enough how great it is to hear people’s stories and learn from them, you always leave richer, I know I do. Every time we share a bit of ourselves we have a chance to leave an impact or imprint, will yours be positive or negative?

‘There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.’~ Maya Angelou

Today I wear Marc Jacobs Lust for Lacquer Lip Vinyl Sheer in Lust for Life. I think I wrote about these before but these glosses are not sticky at all and give just the right amount of color for a gloss…not too sheer. I chose this particular color because it’s like a sheer pop of raspberry (can you tell I need spring to be here ASAP), I also love the name, who doesn’t have a lust for life? Cheers!

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Rumors and Lies

9 Feb

cold
There have been several emotions swirling in my mind over the past few weeks (obviously); joy, sadness, anger, and fear because of various reasons. When I was young, I was shy, painfully shy. My parents are extremely social and we would either be at a party or hosting one. At those parties I was either attached to my parents’ hip or after doing the obligatory hello’s (and playing the piano…I am Filipino), I would try to escape to my room to read, write, or listen to music. I wasn’t sad or lonely, just a shy introvert who would be overwhelmed by crowds and having to socialize. My shyness carried on for pretty much all of my youth until college where I sort of blossomed. In Jr. and Sr. high I became involved in sports, choir, plays, student government. Then I was on a TV show and won a couple beauty pageants my mom encouraged me to join to increase my confidence and break out of my shyness. Despite those things, I was still shy, opening up to few, but kind to all. What happens when you have a few accomplishments and are mostly quiet? People talk about you, rumors, and even lies sometimes. Why? 1. To feel better about themselves, 2. To convince people that they are better than the person they are talking about, or 3. Whatever lies they are pushing, it’s because they are actually the one that’s guilty of said lie(s). Sometimes they repeat it so much, they actually start believing it…scary.

What does this all have to do with me today? Well, I just went through a divorce and am keeping quiet about the details. I have had really incredible support through both the cancer and the divorce from people who have done life with me, worked with me, family, and even people I have had very little interaction with. Why? My parents taught me well…love God, love others; practice patience, kindness, gratefulness. Although I can still get shy sometimes, I try with my actions to be and do these things; not always succeeding but consciously always trying to be a positive force. Today there are lies being told and believed by even a few of those who were close to me. Hurtful? Absolutely, but although my heart hurts at times, I can hold my head high knowing the truth and also feeling confident that the truth eventually comes out. Actions speak louder than words and sometimes your actions show people who you are. “There is beauty in truth, even if it’s painful. Those who lie, twist life so that it looks tasty to the lazy, brilliant to the ignorant, and powerful to the weak. But lies only strengthen our defects. They don’t teach anything, help anything, fix anything or cure anything. Nor do they develop one’s character, one’s mind, one’s heart or one’s soul.”~ José N. Harrisanna2.9.14

Today I wear Nars lipstick in Heatwave. Nars is famous for great lipsticks. This formula is semi-matte so it’s a little drying for me but still great. I chose this color for the simple reason that I WANT SUMMER BACK!! Cheers!

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Magic

4 Feb

survivor
Today is World Cancer Day, a day that the World Health Organization (WHO), and everyone else uses to recognize, unite, and fight against the disease that will kill an estimated 84 million people from 2005-2015. It’s also about survivors. Most of the time I don’t dwell on the fact that I had cancer but today, seeing all the cancer posts and all the purple profiles for the American Cancer Society and Chevy, I get a little nostalgic.I don’t even know if nostalgic is the right word, but I guess my heart feels a little heavy today; both sad and grateful. It’s strange, there are the constant reminders, my scar, my difficulty breathing sometimes, the numbness/weakness in my left arm from all the surgeries and radiation on the left side of my neck, these things are daily but are fully integrated into my life, it’s just how it is. What changed the most for me is what happened inside my heart and mind. There are people who have told me, ‘thyroid cancer?’ ‘the easy cancer?’. Really makes me sick, cancer is cancer, cells trying to kill you, nothing easy about that. Who would even imagine someone having to defend their cancer? No one asks for it, no one wants it, and everyone walks away different. My particular journey was tough, but isn’t every person’s?

It’s hard to describe what has changed on the inside because sometimes it’s overwhelming. I know that I tolerate less crap, I crave peace and kindness, but most of all I look at people, circumstances, and plain daily living a whole lot differently. I take my time now to notice. Most of the time we’re so busy trying to do something or get somewhere, we don’t notice who or what is even in our surroundings; is someone hurting, laughing, talking to you even…I know I’m not making sense but life is not so serious. If we look for the magic, we see it. I have had many people come into my life over the past few years at exactly the time I needed them, it’s been awesome. Understanding their stories, who they are, spoken from their eyes…magic. Cancer has made me more sad, more angry, more willing, but most of all more grateful for the simplest of things. See? I can’t even articulate! I recently watched a movie where Meryl Streep’s character has cancer and she jumps out of a car and starts running…really random, going nowhere. She was crazed and upset and yes, sometimes it’s like that; but sometimes we(me) run to nowhere just because we can. The simple act of running with arms open, face in the wind, breathing in life…magic. I used this quote before but I love it so much I’m going to use it again as a reminder. “Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.” ~Steve Jobs

Today I wear Strawberry Lip Smacker. Cheap, yummy, the stuff I had in high school, a simpler time. Cheers!

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