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Tag Archives: pet peeves

Mom Wars?

30 Mar

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I grew up with a working mom. She was a great mom who worked hard as a social worker in Detroit. I have lots of great memories as a kid and never felt deprived of mom time. I didn’t grow up with alot and both my parents had to work but one thing I knew without a doubt is that I could depend on my mom (and dad), even to this day. They made sure to never miss a concert, a play, a teacher conference, a field trip, etc, they were and have been consistently there for me and now their grandkids. A few days ago a friend of mine posted something on social media which made me sad. She was at a sporting event far away from home supporting her child but sitting in the stands she felt ignored, irrelevant, and judged as a mom.

When I was a young mom I remember the mom battle was between working mom and stay at home mom(SAHM) and there seemed to be lots of articles and commentaries on the subject. I would drop my kids off at preschool while dressed in a suit and remember feeling judged by some of the SAHM’s. Whether it was in my head because of guilt (mommy guilt is a whole different topic to discuss!) or whether it was because I wasn’t invited to some of the play dates/coffee dates so I didn’t know them as well, it was hard to ‘rise above’. Now (and maybe this is more relevant because of my kids’ age), it seems we are judged, compared to, or criticized by how much we do for our kids; lessons, private coaching, travel sports, $$$$$, etc. Here’s one thing I do know, we are all doing the best we can and we really just need to support each other. No one knows the depths of our circumstances or what happens in our homes. We are a bunch of imperfect people trying to raise perfect kids…ha, no such thing, don’t you remember your teen/young adult years? We cannot control who they like, what their interests are, and for the most part we have no control over the decisions they make after a certain point(trust me, I have a son who is almost 20 in college and I would LOVE to control some of his decisions). Go ahead and be alpha, tiger, or helicopter mom but don’t look down at the ones who choose not to or who simply don’t want to mother any of those ways or simply those who don’t have the energy.

Being a mom is one of the if not THE hardest job in the world. I would venture to say that when we hold that baby in our arms for the first time we are not looking at them with tears in our eyes saying, ‘I hope you rebel one day’ or ‘I hope you do drugs’. No, we want our kids to succeed and be kind and conscientious adults, we want them to love others and to be confident in who they are, and as a parent I think we ultimately want them to know that no matter what, we love and support them, and that we are their biggest fans. This mom says it best, ‘Let’s make a deal. Stop the mom-judging. It’s tiring. … My soul needs rest and sometimes a friendly glance from another mom in the trenches who can totally relate on any other given day. Knowing you are not alone is such a gift to a mother’s spirit. Our choices may look different on how we feed, clothe and discipline our children, but our love for them and for others should outshine all of it. At the end of the day, all kids really need is love. Let’s focus on that.’~Laura Coffey.  So to the moms who have felt ignored or who may have felt judged by me, I apologize. I’m still an introvert so sometimes all I can manage is eye to eye contact and a smile and generally introverts are not going to be the first to start conversation. Feel free though to engage me in conversation and I will of course talk! Moms, let’s hold each other up and give each other encouragement. We don’t need to all be best friends but let’s make sure we don’t judge each other because we’re all doing our best. ‘If you judge people, you have no time to love them.’~Mother Teresa.

Today I wear Fresh Sugar Lip Treatment with Sunscreen in Berry. I have this tinted balm in a couple different colors. They are super buttery and loaded with color. I chose this color because it gives a serious pop of berry and I am so ready for spring!! Cheers!

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Pet Peeves

17 Jan

This weeks blog topic in my blogging group GBE2 is pet peeves. Initially I didn’t want to take part this week because I thought I was easy going and really didn’t have many pet peeves. As the week has progressed, while pondering this topic and thinking about what my pet peeves may be, I realized that after cancer I actually have more things that bother me than I thought…uh oh. Anyhow, I thought I’d list some of them out.

1 I can’t stand when people not only think they are better than you, but act like they’re better than you.

2 I don’t like it when people make assumptions about you based on hearsay, looks, gender, race, etc, without really knowing you or your story

3 I don’t like having to repeat myself to my kids when they’re asked to do something (especially when I know they hear me)

4 I don’t like it when I’m asked to take care of something that that person could do…”these leftovers are going to rot in the fridge, you should really throw them out”…My reply, “’You’re looking at it, can’t you throw it out?”

5 I don’t like it when people are nice to your face but will talk negatively about you if given the chance (really dislike disingenuous people)

6 I’m bothered by consistent complaining about dumb things…life is too short. Either someone is worst off or generally it’s not that bad

7 Last thing for now, I cant stand it when I purchase something and I get home, open the box and it’s the wrong item, the wrong size, the wrong color (referring to lipstick of course)

I’m sure there are many more, but it’s a small snapshot of what I thought about with pet peeves as my topic in mind this week. Obviously most of my pet peeves are related to people and their treatment or mistreatment. Once again, love God , love others. Look people in the eyes, find out their stories. Don’t be too quick to judge. Also, gossip is the quickest way to dissolve a trusting relationship, be careful, it could be poison. All it takes is one person to start a fire.

This week I choose Smashbox Be Legendary lipstick in Legendary. First off, it’s red, second, who doesn’t want their life to be legendary? As a side note, this is a new Smashbox formulation which is more creamy and the colors are beautiful! Enjoy!

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