Tag Archives: thyroid cancer survivor

Perspective

6 Jan

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Why do bears hibernate? The thought has always sounded somewhat appealing to me…eat a bunch to fatten up, find a dark cave, then sleep all winter long. Well, here I am. Stuck in my house, literally. After about 16 inches of snow and below freezing temperatures, I’m stuck.You know when you tell kids they can’t have something, that becomes the object they absolutely want. It’s like that right? Stay in, it’s not smart to leave (believe me, I tried and got stuck in the driveway)now, all I want to do is leave, drive, be free…really ridiculous. So now what? Change of perspective. I’m in a warm house, I have food to last until I can dig myself out, I have electricity which keeps the heat on, and I have wifi and a cell phone which keeps me connected to the outside world (you guys). My boss also let us stay home today which was perfect so I could catch up on paperwork. Like the bear (although it’s only been one day), I’ve been eating enough to feel like I’m fattening up to keep warm for the winter. I have to admit, it’s beautiful outside. A fresh blanket of white always makes things look clean and peaceful.photo 2

The same goes with life right? A simple change of perspective is all we need sometimes. Disney has skewed our mindset a little, life is not always ‘happily ever after’, it’s not a fairytale. There are twists and turns around every bend that on our best day we cannot predict. Sometimes you have to look at life from all the angles to gain true perspective and sometimes we simply have to look in the mirror. ‘We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.’― Abraham Lincoln

Today I wear something that I love so much that I went ahead and bought 4, yes 4 tubes of it to make sure I had enough through the winter in case they decided to discontinue it. It is Nivea lip balm in A Kiss of Cherry. I love it! Since my lips are a little dry in the winter I constantly apply lip balm, this contains shea butter so it keeps lips moist (hate that word), but it has a red tint to it which adds just enough color and cherry flavor. To me, it is a great improvement to Cherry Chapstick, although I like that too. This one’s just alot less waxy. Cheers!

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Christmas Memories

21 Dec

Christmas

Christmas always brings lots of memories; some great ones, and some not so great. Growing up in Detroit, I remember my parents waking me up as a young child to attend the historic Old St Mary’s Church in Detroit to go to midnight mass. What I remember about it (since I was so young) was that it was huge and outrageously beautiful. But I also remember the pews being hard as I fell back asleep on them during mass (oops, I was REALLY young). Anyhow, traditionally, we would go back home afterward and eat until dawn. Though the church location changed when we moved to the suburbs, that tradition carried on through high school, sometimes with only my family, and sometimes with friends coming to our house. I remember moments around Christmas like ice skating around the frozen fountain at Belle Isle, the Thanksgiving Parade, and shopping at the old Hudson’s in downtown Detroit.

The two most memorable Christmas’s to me were both significant moments in my life. The first was awful, 2009. It was the morning of Christmas Eve 2009 when I was at the hospital with my three girlfriends at 6am. They came with with me to support me during my PET scan to check on suspicious activity in my neck. At this point I had and beat cancer twice already with my last surgery just the September before. They came with me to sit for the three hours it took to finish. When I came out, two were sleeping in chairs in the waiting room and I’ll never forget how grateful I was they had taken time away from their families to be with me that day. At 4:00 the same evening my doctor called and I received the devastating news that indeed the cancer was back. He said, “Merry Christmas, I’m sorry.” The other Christmas I remember was in the 4th grade, I was 8 or 9 and we had just moved to the suburbs from Detroit. At this time my parents were both working and my dad had even worked two jobs to move us to a nicer area. That Christmas I wrote Santa a long letter. I remember writing a list of things I wanted and then adding things for my hard working parents. When I came downstairs Christmas morning, nothing from my list was on the fireplace. All that was there was a large (to me it was life-sized) yellow, stuffed dog. I remember being a little disappointed that Santa hadn’t brought the presents I asked for for me and my parents, but I loved that stuffed animal. It stayed with me for years! Looking back I now realize that we didn’t have a lot of money and my parents gave me the best they had. It brings tears to my eyes thinking about it.

After cancer and life’s difficulties in general, Christmas along with every day is special. We were given the gift of Jesus on Christmas Day and that is the best gift. Every moment, every memory, every breath whether Christmas or the days after is icing on the cake. Today’s lipstick is my favorite red Lancome L’Absolu Rouge in Merlot. Moisturizing, deep red. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays to all of you!

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Alone

12 Dec

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When I was in college I volunteered at a local hospital to help wherever they needed. I was assigned to the pediatric unit to basically ‘socialize’ with the kids that were there for long periods of time. It was one of the toughest things I have ever had to do and many days I would leave in tears. I remember many of the kids not actually looking sick, but then starting to cough things up without ceasing, or seeing the IV lines attached to them, there was even a child with HIV who they had in a back corner room because in the late 80’s/early 90’s, there was still a lot we didn’t understand about HIV. I basically was there a few days a week to read to them, play games, and even Atari. If you don’t know Atari, it was the original home video gaming system…black and white, totally fun. Anyhow, parents and relatives did come to visit on occasion but most of the time these kids were alone. Fast forward to my cancer journey and I remember after the first surgery I was given a very bad prognosis…essentially told I didn’t have much longer because my cancer was aggressive and it was all over the place. After staying in the ICU for a couple days I was brought to a regular patient room for several more days to recover. I had a few visitors, but for the most part I was alone…and scared. From then, my heart has had a burden for those stuck in their hospital rooms without any support. Granted, many people may have support who cannot stay with them 24/7 but it’s the in-between times that silence, fear, uncertainty, and sadness take over. I had a job a few years back which brought me to various floors in the hospital and when I would pass rooms with patients who were alone, my heart would break because I remember how it felt.

So where does that lead me? The other day I spoke to someone at a local hospital about the holidays and how hard it must be for patients who have to be there. I shared a little of my story and my passion for making sure people had less alone time and asked if there was something, even something small that I could do. We talked about my singing and how my voice was affected but still able, and then he asked…’would you like to come and sing Christmas carols to people in their hospital rooms?’ I got emotional immediately. First, it’s kind of a miracle that I can still sing, but to be able to share that with people to help them feel less alone over the holiday season? Of course. He asked if I would start in the cancer unit then move to other parts of the hospital….duh, yes. SO here’s the big picture, do we have to go to a hospital to find people who feel alone? I don’t think so, I think they’re all around us. Don’t be afraid to reach out.

Today I wear Urban Decay Revolution Lipstick in Lovelight which is a peachy pink shimmer. Yes I love these lipsticks; highly moisturizing, great colors, and fairly long lasting. Lovelight on me just adds shimmer to my natural lip color so it’s easy to wear. I chose it today mainly for the name…show a little love. Cheers!

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The Future

3 Dec

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I have had a lot on my mind lately and it’s been hard to sort and filter through all of it. On the one hand, there are lots of cool and exciting things happening and I feel stronger than I’ve felt in a long time both physically and mentally. On the other hand, there’s a lot of change with a mix of fear and sadness. It’s quite the conundrum. It’s like ice skating (which I don’t do very well by the way) on thin ice. You feel your face in the wind and you see an awesome goal that you’re skating toward, yet, the ice is so thin that at any moment it could crack and suck you under; being on the verge of crazy laughter and tears at the same time. I can’t really explain but maybe you’ve been there….the crazy place between now and then, here or there, yesterday and tomorrow. Sheesh I’m getting deep….I don’t even understand myself. So what happens now? I guess it’s like I always say, something I remind myself and try to do every moment of every day…..live life. It starts getting crazy when you start thinking of the who, what, where, when, because I think that is when we try to control the circumstances. One thing I know, there are some things we can control but there are many, many things we can’t. So where does that leave me? I can’t change the past so I must look forward. I’m excited about what the future brings, but until then, I live and love one day at a time. Appreciating each day for what it is, because every tomorrow is the future.

Today I wear Urban Decay Revolution Lipstick in Naked. I’m pretty sure I’ve written about these lipsticks before but they’re awesome! They have lots of color and staying power and they are moisturizing on top of that! I chose this color because it is the perfect nudey-pink, not too brown, and not too blah. Plus the name…naked, just me moving forward one day at a time. Cheers!

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Happiness

30 Nov

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“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.”   ~Lucius Seneca

Thanksgiving has come and gone. This year was a quiet one for me and it was also the first year I haven’t cooked (remember a couple blogs ago how I felt about cooking?), so it was good. I was able to spend time with family and also a few friends over the past few days and actually laughed more than I have in awhile. I read the quote above and I find it to be so true. Happiness is one thing, but contentment is so much more. Enjoying the present and resting in the satisfaction of what we already have; just being grateful. There are many millionaires in this world who continue wanting more…are they happy? Contrast that with the poor, the people in impoverished countries, those who know nothing about turkey, pumpkin pie, or even simply clean water…are they content? I venture to say that at times maybe they are more content. This Thanksgiving I have so much to be grateful for and despite the many obstacles and stresses that life continues to bring, I’m content.  If you look in the dictionary the definitions for contentment and happiness are very similar if not the same in some, but I believe a little differently. Happiness comes and goes based on the situation whereas contentment brings in the grateful factor. What’s the definition of gratefulness? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it is being thankful for a helpful act; appreciation of benefits received. Gratefulness is appreciating the gifts we have, the things in life that are free. Friendship, kindness, laughter, sunshine, snow, running water, etc. Open your eyes, every moment is a gift and we are never assured of the next moment. Do you have to be happy to be grateful? Just the opposite, you have to be grateful to be happy. I am outrageously grateful for what I have and the people that are in my life. I rest in the fact that there are many things I cannot control but I have a God that does.

Christmas is coming up and the hype of shopping and presents and things has officially arrived. It’s a great and beautiful time of year but it can also be a stressful time for some. The hunt for the perfect parking space, the hunt for the perfect present, combined with the stress of being with family, or having none. It’s a good time to stop and rest in the moment. Be that person to show kindness, compassion, patience; give the recipient a reason to be grateful whether they accept it or not.

Today it’s Rimmel Lasting Finish lipstick in Kiss of Life. On the web it looks like a deep plum…it’s red. These are matte so a little dry for me. I mainly chose this for the name. We could all use a Kiss of Life right? Cheers!

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Inspirations

24 Nov

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This week’s topic for my blogging group GBE2 is inspirations; movies, music, people, whatever or whomever is inspiring us lately. Well, this list could go on and on for me but not with famous musicians, athletes, movie stars, and not even Oprah. Really, just the people around me. My friends Dawn, Leanna, Frances, overcoming some difficult youth situations and using those experiences to help others (me in particular). Your incredible support astounds me. My friends Callie and Grace, supermoms for different reasons, your strength and courage in your daily situations blow me away. Thank you for your friendship always. Stacie who juggles work, family, and volunteerism but still has time to listen and support my family.  Lissa, despite her circumstances, continues to push to be a better mom; whose friendship goes above and beyond. Bev who adopted a beautiful little girl just as her son was leaving for college. Jill, inspiring me to bring ‘Anna’ back. Lori and Donna whose work in the communities never cease, amazing what one person can do. Michelle and Melissa, two fiercely strong women who stood by their men while juggling work and family, through all of the ups and downs of their cancer treatments. Steve and Paula, two mentors I look up to, all love, no judgment. Dr. Rubin, Dr. Menaldi, and Marie, whose belief in my voice and spirit to overcome never wavered. To my beautiful radiation partner and friend ‘B’ who despite being in severe pain and sitting in a hospital all week, still sends me notes of encouragement. ‘B’, you are one of the kindest and strongest men I know, so glad you’ve been a part of my life. Jen(Chapstick), who checks in consistently, always positive, always encouraging, always making me laugh. To my crazy friend who quotes movie lines and song lyrics, you inspire me to ‘stay gold’ (The Outsiders), and laugh. To my awesome kids who make me want to be a better mom and a better person all the time. My incredibly talented brother who continues to follow his dreams. Although there are many ups and downs, you always land on your feet (and always land a gig too). You are incredible and those times you may stop believing in yourself (nature of your industry), I will always believe in you. My parents, who left everything and everyone they knew for a better life for their kids. It wasn’t always easy but we were never in want or need of anything…plus look at how good we turned out (haha).

Like I said, I am surrounded by inspiring people, too many to mention. All different, all from different backgrounds, all with a story. There are many famous people we could look to for inspiration but I think it’s just as easy to look at the pool of people surrounding you. Everyone brings something to the world and I believe those around us, if even for a season, are there for a reason. ‘People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Never throw out anyone.’ ~Audrey Hepburn. Thank you all and Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I am not going to name a lipstick color but recommend you go to Sephora.com.  This is the best time of year for lipstick sets. Since the holidays are upon us many cosmetic companies put gift sets together of their most popular products in the most popular colors. Some are small versions but some are full sized, but all of the sets are specially priced and a lot less expensive than normal. NOW is the time to try something new! Cheers!

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Honesty

22 Nov
Photo courtesy of Leanna Vite Photography. Thanks Leanna!

Photo courtesy of Leanna Vite Photography.
Thanks Leanna!

The other day I was at the grocery store. When I hit the bath soap section, I grabbed what I needed and a woman stopped me. She looked ok, dressed casually, honest eyes, smile….she asked which soap I thought was better and why I picked up the one I did. She went on to explain to me her skin type and told me the different soaps she’d already tried. Mind you, I had just gone to a 2 hour hot yoga class, therefore I was in yoga pants, sweatshirt, no make up…you get the idea, not my finest moment, but clearly I was not an employee of the store. I basically shared with her, I’m not picky about soap, I had a coupon. Well, she grabbed the same stuff. I told her I hoped she liked it and started walking away until she said, ‘Your face is so pretty and your skin is beautiful. What face wash do you use?’ Now it was getting weird. I told her the face wash and she asked me if I could walk her over to that section and show her exactly which one. At this point, I casually looked down at my purse to make sure it was zipped and really stared at her and her person to try to memorize it in case I had to fill out a police report later. I walked her over to the face wash and she started asking about skin type, why I use this, what about makeup remover, etc…eventually I cut her off and told her I really had to go. Strangely enough, the Dove Moisturizing Body Wash and the Aveeno Positively Radiant face wash was all she left with.

Walking to the parking lot (this was morning), I kept my eyes peeled for her, and when I got home I turned on my computer to check my credit card balance. Yes, that was a super strange interaction but thinking about it more big picture…we have become a society that doesn’t trust that easily. What happened to simply people talking and the kindness of strangers? On the news you see the stories of people who didn’t stop for the guy getting beaten up and on the other side though, the good Samaritan gone bad. It makes me sad that I was so ‘suspect’ of the friendly woman with the soap questions, but that has become our society. I know many people who have told me I’m too trusting and that they need people to earn their trust. I choose to trust first then get hurt later by dishonesty, maybe that’s the wrong way to do it, but I’d rather live open hearted. I think in the process of earning trust, you can close yourself off to possibly great relationships during that ‘test’ of trust. Conversely, trusting first can lead to bad heartache, especially when you believe in someone. Oh well, there’s no right or wrong I guess. I wish the times were different but I can’t change that, all I can change is me. Although I love social media, texting, cell phone, etc…I want to be that kind stranger, the one who is able to freely converse with whoever without expectation. Billy Joel sings, ‘Honesty is such a lonely word, everyone is so untrue…‘ Sad, makes my heart hurt. We’ve lost human interaction, eye contact, and the vulnerability of being honest…let’s get it back!

Today I wear Flower Kiss Stick Velvet Lip Color in Tender Tuberose. Yes, I bought this from the store that day…This lipstick is moisturizing and inexpensive. I chose this color because it’s an easy, every day color and also for the name. Let’s be tender with each other. Cheers!

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Thankful

20 Nov

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I saw a quote the other day ‘I think a hero is an ordinary individual who finds the strength to persevere and endure in spite of overwhelming obstacles…so are the families and friends who have stood by them.’~ Christopher Reeve

Thanksgiving is coming up and I have so much to be thankful for. But today, I want to thank all the people who are and have been a part of my cancer journey. It’s really difficult to express my feelings of gratitude to those pre-, post, and during my cancer journey because thank you doesn’t seem enough. Maybe because thank you is used too much? More than thank you, I have a deep love for all those in my life. When I got cancer, not only was I surrounded by friends locally, but people from my past that I had lost touch with, sent cards, e-mails, and even care packages. I even had a good friend offer to fly here to just sit with me. It’s really overwhelming. I want to thank my doctors and entire medical team who went above and beyond what they needed to do; who called on their off hours to see how I was doing, who made calls to their connections to make sure I had the best treatment. Thank you to all those who brought meals to my family….little did you know it was some of the best food they have ever eaten and we were all depressed when the meals stopped (refer to #19 on my last blog). Thanks also to all of you who follow me on my blog, twitter, Facebook fan page…your continuing support, comments, and private messages inspire me. Thank you to my family, especially my parents, too much to say. Every single interaction you have with someone, even if just for a moment leaves them with something. If you choose to be kind and respectful in those moments, it comes back to you ten-fold.

It’s been a long road and the journey continues on with different obstacles so where does that leave me today? Grateful and looking forward to the future. I’m not the hero, I was forced to be strong. You are all my heroes. To the new people in my life, welcome, hope you hang around awhile. Cat Stevens sings that it’s a wild world and yes it is, but truly living in it is worth it.2013-07-03 04.44.07

Today I wear Chantecaille Brilliant lip gloss in Lucky. These glosses are moisturizing and a little plumping (which my lips obviously don’t need). The colors are soft and pretty. Lucky is just a soft pink which is easy to wear. I chose it mainly for the name. I don’t really believe in luck, but I feel so lucky and blessed to have all of you. Cheers!

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25 Things You Don’t Know About Me

17 Nov

This past week on Facebook there has been a little game going on where you are assigned a number and you have to write the same number of facts about yourself that maybe most people don’t know. I think People magazine does the same thing called ’25 Things You Don’t Know About Me’. I thought today I’d try to do that for you guys about me. If you have been following my blog for some time you know the basics; I’m more of an introvert, I am a cancer survivor, I love lipstick, I love chocolate, I love music, and obviously from my last blog, I love Bruno Mars.  So here’s 25 things you may not know about me:

  1. I will never be a vegetarian, I am a carnivore…I love meat
  2. I am afraid of lightning
  3. I am allergic to cats, plus they freak me out a little because I feel like they know what I’m thinking when they look at me
  4. I’m claustrophobic
  5. I don’t like bananas (texture thing), but I do like them in smoothies or fried, Filipino style
  6. I have never felt comfortable in my own skin until now, I’m a dork
  7. I changed my major three times in college but still graduated in four years-going spring and summer too (music/dance, then business, aeronautical engineering, finally biomedical science/chemistry)
  8. Took the MCAT and the GRE thinking med school or PhD in Pharmacology. Ended up starting an MBA after GMAT and hating it (sorry for the expense mom and dad)
  9. I have a dream of opening a small boutique somewhere. I’m sure you can guess at least one item that would be in it. I even already have the concept and name…
  10. I’ve been in two beauty pageants to help me overcome my shyness, I won them both
  11. I delivered all three kids with no drugs
  12. I have kept a journal since 3rd or 4th grade
  13. Christmas is my favorite holiday but it makes me a little sad because I have memories of my dad listening to Christmas music and tearing up from missing his family in the Philippines (My parents left family and friends for the American Dream)
  14. I stole something in 2nd grade…guess what it was? A Chunky chocolate bar. Can’t really hide that in your pocket. My mom made me apologize to the store owner and I’ve never ‘shoplifted’ again
  15. I get carsick in the back of buses, vans, cars, etc
  16. I love seeing hawks, eagles, butterflies…beautiful things that fly; they just amaze me and look so free
  17. My parents bought me a car for college but never told me I needed an oil change. The transmission failed at 30,000 miles…oops
  18. I love peanut butter
  19. I don’t enjoy cooking but I love washing dishes
  20. I wrote fan mail when I was young to Joan Jett because I thought she was soooo cool (this was early 80’s, give me a break)
  21. I secretly love my dog
  22. I hate cold weather because I’m always cold
  23. I rarely buy anything full price
  24. I hate walking into a crowded room by myself
  25. I love to read and used to read maybe 2-3 books/week. I have not read an entire book since I started playing Candy Crush…sad, I know

Do we have anything in common? Today I wear something I buy repeatedly (which is rare when it comes to lip products); Dior Addict Lip Glow. It feels like a lip balm and when you put it on it basically enhances your natural lipcolor. I love it! It’s me, just better. Cheers!

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Bruno Mars

13 Nov

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This post is really random but I love Bruno Mars. Some things you already know about me…I love music, in college I started off as a music major with a dance minor, music is a huge part of my life. Maybe some things you don’t know about me…I’m usually not star struck, I don’t idolize people, and I’ve never been real crazy about a singular musician (minus the time I was president of the Harry Connick Jr fanclub). Ok, ok so I’m writing about Bruno because I have a slight chance to meet him in the near future (ahem, you know who you are, make it happen). So what is it about Bruno? It’s probably not what you think. So here’s my top reasons:

  1. He’s half Filipino (had to get that out of the way)
  2. He’s crazy talented; singer, songwriter, and plays a million instruments
  3. He looks like he’s having fun and loves what he’s doing (his moves aren’t bad either)
  4. He’s adorable (in a ‘he could be my son’ kind of way)
  5. He’s funny (anyone catch Saturday Night Live when he was on it)?
  6. He’s the ultimate entertainer
  7. He performs with such joy on his face I can’t help but smile
  8. He just seems so easy going and laid back

Now, I don’t know him at all, and I’m not attracted to him in a weird creepy way, I’m simply talking about his stage persona; I like what I see. How does that translate to real life? Those qualities are the same qualities in people I love being around; laid back, fun loving, and generally people who make me smile, or even better, laugh. I’m blessed to have lots of friends like this but more than that, I want to have those qualities too. Nothing better than bringing a smile to someone’s face.

Today I wear Tom Ford Lip Color in Crimson, a gorgeous deep red. Now, this is probably the most expensive lipstick I’ve ever bought, not to mention, I bought it in Paris a while back. Needless to say, I use it sparingly. Color’s great, texture’s great and if I do get to meet Bruno Mars, this will be in my bag!  Cheers!

 

 

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