Tag Archives: thyroid cancer survivor

PTSD

9 Nov

2013-07-09 01.52.41

Yesterday I met with a good friend whose fiancé just finished his last cancer treatment. She asked what life was like after cancer and what to expect emotionally, physically, etc. This one’s tough to answer because everyone is different. My fight is a little different than some because my cancer has come back a few times, but I believe most of the emotions are the same whether you were diagnosed once, twice, or however many times. Cancer is cancer. There is no easy cancer. Being told you have cancer, then mustering up all you have to fight back is one thing, but after? When they tell you ‘you’re done’? It’s a little like post traumatic stress disorder; trying to cope and adjust after a terrifying or traumatic event. It’s been almost three years since my last treatment and I just recently got my first totally clean bill of health, ever, believe it or not, I feel like I’m going through a grieving process…again. I’m sad that I can’t trust my own body. I was in my 30’s, healthy and active when this all started and boom, I find out there are cells I can’t see inside of me trying to kill me. I’m sad that I can’t do some of the things I used to do without struggling to breathe because of the attack on my neck. I’m sad that my kids are afraid to ask what my test results are and I’m even more sad that I scared them because they’ve seen me so sick. I’m sad that I wasted so much time and energy worrying about stupid inconsequential stuff before I had cancer; stupid stuff is just that…stupid. There are so many things to grieve because after cancer and dealing with your mortality, you not only think about where you came from, but more importantly, of where you want to be. I recently visited a friend who is a massage therapist and polarity therapist . After her treatment I asked her what my body was telling her and she told me that besides the overwhelming feeling that my body was in constant self protection mode (not healthy), that I had a broken heart. Guess what, it made me sad. Now, I have known her for a very long time and she told me she remembers a girl with a fire inside of her, I replied, ‘I miss her too.’

What happens now? ‘The purpose of life, after all, is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost, to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experiences.’ ~ Eleanor Roosevelt. Count me in. Despite the sadness, I am alive. Some of the great things post cancer is that I’m more patient, I don’t worry about stupid stuff, I try to understand people better and listen to their stories, I have less fear, I dream bigger, I care less about what people think of me, I love deeper, and yes, my heart breaks even more. I’m less tolerant of anger, hate, and jerks in general. After the first surgery my prognosis was bad. When you’re given an end date your perspective on life changes a little; I’m more focused on peace, adventure, and how I want the rest of my ‘living’ to look like. I’m hoping someday to regain more confidence in my body cooperating with me, and I’m hoping to find that girl with the fire inside of her once again. Life is short and it’s totally worth living.

Today I wear Kat Von D Painted Love Lipstick in Hellbent…yeah, it’s red! These lipsticks have lots of color but are surprisingly rich and moisturizing (although not as moisturizing as some of the others). I chose this color mainly for the name; I have so many shades of red lipstick but who could resist the name? Hellbent on living life! Cheers!

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Weak

29 Oct

2012-07-02 01.52.50

Seriously, last week was one of the most crazy emotional weeks of the year. From getting the goodbye letter from ‘B’, to having to work the next day at not only the place we met,  but where I was the most sick, to hearing the good news about my cancer journey ending for awhile, to celebrating my birthday. Add to that a few other personal obstacles, and now I’m exhausted. I have no desire to repeat the plethora of events and emotions…ever. Do you ever feel your weakest when you’re supposed to feel your strongest? After running through my week with a friend, she commented on how she thought I was ‘amazingly strong,’ It’s funny to me to hear that because at the same moment, I feel incredibly weak. I think we all need to put that armor up because life is a lot like that arcade game where you hold a cushioned hammer and the gophers or moles continually pop up and you have to be ready to bop them back in to get points. The better you are at the game, the faster they come out. That’s life. You never quite handle it because things keep popping up. The minute you think you have the hang of it, things come at you faster. Part of me wants to just shelter myself with armor and walk away from the game. Keep that hard shell on and not get affected by people, events, emotions; it almost sounds easier. Instead, I keep playing. I keep being vulnerable, I keep taking one step at a time, I keep loving, leaving my heart open for either hurt or even better, getting love back. Yeah, I feel weak. I don’t think it’s only strength that we need anyway, sometimes life is simply about endurance to get us through the tough times. So that’s where I want to be, weak with an open heart to love, courage to face obstacles head on, and the endurance to work through all the yuck without giving up or wrapping myself back in armor; rolled together, that’s strength. One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles possesses the only strength  which can overcome adversity.~Albert  Schweitzer

Today’s lipstick is Nars Fire Down Below. It is a semi-matte blood red lipstick. You can always count on Nars for great colors and great lipstick names. Since it’s a semi-matte, it is a bit drying to me but wow, talk about red! I chose this color because it’s red hot! Also, the name makes me blush. Which by the way, if you’re going to be wearing this lipstick or any bright red lipstick, keep the rest of your face simple.  Cheers to a new day!

 

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Broken Heart

23 Oct

2013-07-09 01.53.39-1

I am heartbroken today. In April 2010, after my third surgery for cancer in my neck, I went through seven weeks of head and neck radiation. If you are not familiar with the process, based on your cancer, the radiation oncologist determines how much and how long your treatment will be; then  you are scheduled to receive that treatment at generally the same time everyday so that the amount of radiation running through your system stays consistent. So, every single day for seven weeks I was bolted to a table from my shoulders up, for a half an hour using the device made for me pictured below…it was not fun. The first week I was there I met ‘B’. We were two out of the 3-5 patients in the patient waiting room receiving radiation during our time frame. Since we saw each other every day around the same time, we got to know each other. Turns out, we had the same type of cancer, we both had a paralyzed vocal cord from the surgery, we both had the same radiation oncologist, and we had the same duration of therapy. Every day, we would talk about our struggles, our families, and our hopes and dreams for when we were finally cancer free. When the treatments got difficult, we would talk about it and I could always count on ‘B’ being there to encourage me to press on. Toward the end of treatment, we were both struggling, but we were able to do the daily countdown until the last day or ‘radiation graduation’. By the time the 7 weeks was over, I had a friend for life.radiation

For the past few years since then, we have kept in touch. We emailed each other our triumphs and struggles, he spoke of his wife and grandkids and the plans they had. We kept each other posted on cancer scares, tests, etc. We never lost touch. Over the past few months ‘B’ was struggling with various things and all I could do was pray and encourage him. Today, I got an email from him telling me ‘good-bye.’ His cancer has spread, and some to an inoperable area, he has just a few months left. I cried (and am still crying) from some of the words he wrote to me today. “Keep the faith , my sweet Anna, and I will remember that genuine smile of yours over your shoulder in the hallway in radiation oncology. Goodbye my friend, never give up. See you on the other side.” I am so sad. We went through a lot in that 7 weeks and ‘B’ was my guardian angel.  Despite the pain, he also had an encouraging smile on his face every day in that little waiting room. I know we are all only given a short amount of time on this earth, I am blessed to have known ‘B’. Thank you ‘B’, I love you…see you on the other side.

No lipstick today, just me, plain and simple.

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Cheerleader

20 Oct

morning magic

This week I went to a national meeting for my company for a few days. It was a lot of work but a lot of fun too. It was the first chance for me to meet the rest of my team along with the rest of the sales force from across the country. I have to say, everyone’s different but that’s what makes it great. Anyhow, the first day we were there it was Boss’s Day and we got our manager a card. It hit me as I thanked him that I was working for this man for the third time in my 20+ year career. I won’t name him but we first met while training together out of college over 20 years ago. I was about 2 weeks ahead of his small training class of three people and we interacted briefly over a two week period and went our merry ways. 10 years later during a downsize of my company at the time, I was interviewing with another company and he walked in on a second interview and was introduced as the new manager taking over. He hired me and although he wasn’t always easy, he was a great manager. Well, that company got bought after a few years and we separated again. Three years later he called about a job with another company…worked for him again. He left about a year later for a better opportunity and four years after that, I was downsized again. Last summer, he had an opening with his current company and called, and the rest is history. We have kept in touch on and off over the years but one thing I know for sure, he believes in me. When cancer hit me a third time I had not been working for him in awhile yet he showed up at the hospital to tell me that he and his family were there for me and praying for me.

How does it feel when someone believes in you? Amazing. My boss ‘D’ knew about my cancer history and he still hired me (I have to say, I am pretty good at my job). He also knows about the difficult situation that I am in currently and his belief in me hasn’t wavered one bit. I get choked up thinking about it because my life is crazy right now. Something else happens when someone believes in you so much, you don’t want to disappoint. I actually work even harder because I don’t want to disappoint him. It’s a great sign of good leadership; all we need is one cheerleader to help us believe we can accomplish great things. Thanks ‘D’ for being my career cheerleader, and friend, all these years.

It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that  belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen. ~ Muhammad Ali

Today I wear Smashbox Be Legendary Lipstick in Legendary. These lipsticks are creamy and long lasting. They are not as moisturizing as some of the others but they do have pretty good staying power. I chose this color because it’s red (yup, back to red lips), and because of the name. Who doesn’t want to be legendary? Be someone’s cheerleader and help them get a good start! Cheers!

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Fall

5 Oct

photo 5

It’s October, the beginning of fall in Michigan, my favorite time of year. I love the cooler temperatures, but most of all, I love all the colors. The leaves are changing and falling and it reminds me that life is never stagnant. Life is ever changing and just when you get a little bored, it switches gears again, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. In a few weeks I will be celebrating my birthday. If you look up life expectancy for a female in my area, it is 81 years old. So, considering my age, my life is half over….depressing. Since I am an optimist…wow, I still have almost half my life yet to live (sounds better don’t you think?). This past week has been pretty big for me. Last Wednesday I attended the TEDxDetroit conference and it was awesome. For those unfamiliar with TED, it is a gathering of leaders, creators, entrepeneurs, artists who meet and share their passions and positive ideas for change. I have to admit I felt a little out of place, it seemed too big for me to be there, but I’m so glad I went. Afterward, I thought, why not me? each person there was exactly that…one person desiring change and trying to make a difference…so, why not me…why not you? Some of the great quotes I heard ,‘Take care of your fears or they will own you,’~ John U. Bacon; ‘Experience life changes….allow them to affect you, change you, guide you,’ ~Nathan Hughes; ‘The job of a leader is to define reality,’~ Jackie Victor. There was so much energy and inspiration there and it was there to push each of us to be catalysts, I’m ready, how about you?

Attendees at TEDxDetroit

Attendees at TEDxDetroit

Also this week it was test time for me again, yes, that small reminder that I had cancer. It’s not bad, a couple weeks ago the breast cancer stuff was clean, and now was a general neck test. I did the regular exam in which my doc said, ‘You look healthy, but then again, you always look healthy, cancer or no cancer.’ OK, kinda comforting. Anyhow, after 3 vials of blood, I wait. One of the tests, if you have been reading my blog for some time, is a test that’s only done on very few people because not only was my cancer rare, but I also carry an antibody which messes up the regular blood test that would be able to detect my cancer. In fact, this test was only approved by the FDA last year. Because of that, this blood test is only run once every few weeks so I should be getting the results in 3-4 weeks…or somewhere near my birthday, excellent. Can’t worry about nothing right now! To be completely transparent, my mind’s been all over the place lately…still struggling with the personal issue I referenced awhile back along with new-ish job, cancer check ups, etc; but as always life moves forward. In one of the most watched talks on TED titled ‘How To Live Before You Die’, Steve Jobs says, ‘Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be  trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most  important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.’  Ask any cancer patient and boy do we know our time is limited! I look back at my 40+ (whoops, almost revealed my age), and I’ve made some mistakes, some bad choices, some good; the great thing is, is I can look forward with lessons and experiences from my past, knowing full well that my time is limited and continue on with courage in my ‘second half’.

Today I wear Dior Addict Gloss in Princess. I LOVE all the Dior lipsticks and glosses. The lipsticks are extremely moisturizing and the colors are beautiful. The glosses are not heavy or sticky yet they have pretty good staying power. The color Princess is light pink with a little bit of sparkle, something you would picture Cinderella wearing. I chose this color because it’s simple. I’ve been wearing alot of red lately, but today I chose simple because that’s how I want to be today, simply at peace. Cheers!

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The Cancer Card

21 Sep
From Playthecard.org (Stupidcancer.org)

From Playthecard.org
(Stupidcancer.org)

One thing I can’t stand is people making immediate judgements or conclusions about someone based on how they look, how they dress, how they talk, etc.  I know I’ve been guilty of this, we all have, right? I’ve always been pretty quiet, a natural introvert, but since I spent much of my life on a stage, many people have interpreted my quiet nature to be arrogance sometimes. It obviously was quite the opposite. I used the stage to come out of my shell and at times be someone different, then afterwards, if you know anything about introverts, I would need quiet to recharge. On top of that, I’ve always been fairly shy so putting myself out there to be social was a huge stretch for me. About 12 years ago I was sent to a management ‘retreat’ where we took the Myers Briggs test to help us decipher our personalities and adapt them to a style of management. The very first component tells you whether you are an introvert or extrovert. What they, and I, found interesting is that I came out exactly in the middle. After speaking to my assigned mentor, he told me that I am a natural introvert but since I had been in sales so long, I had become a forced extrovert…interesting. So, I am still in sales, in a new job, most of my customers are men, but most of the support staff are women. Who is worst and immediate about judging…a woman. Let’s face it, we women are hard on each other. I see it even with my daughter and her age group, girls can be rough at any age. This week I was in one of my offices and the office manager (a woman), just stared at me with disdain on her face as I spoke to a customer (a man). After he left, I tried to engage her in normal conversation and she wasn’t budging, so what did I do? Something I hardly ever do…pulled out the ‘cancer card’. That’s right, I mentioned that it had been hard to maintain a job in a shrinking industry all while fighting cancer off and on for 5 years. Can I tell you her demeanor changed COMPLETELY! The last time I pulled out the cancer card was a few years ago when I still had a bandage over my neck covering my stitches and a guy cut in front of me in a line at a shoe store. I had been waiting awhile and he literally jumped in front of me because he said he was in a hurry. I looked at him, smiled, and said ‘Dude, I have cancer.’ I know, crazy, but I was in line first. Anyhow, this office manager let me say what I needed to say and afterward actually complemented me on how I was the best sales rep she had seen in a while and that she appreciated my intelligence and humility while talking about my products. Wow, really?

Again, I hate that. Why are people nicer to me after I say I had cancer? By the way, you can actually order a cancer card from Stupidcancer.org. The pitch is to cash in the pity chips and milk the diagnosis for all it’s worth…so funny. But really, why can’t we all just be nice from the get go? Two great lessons for me after cancer: Life is short, and everyone has a story. We are the way we are from a combination of our personality and experiences. I love listening to people’s stories and getting to know what they’re about. Think about it next time you make a judgement call on an appearance before you actually speak to someone, you may be surprised.

Today I wear It Cosmetics Vitality Lip Flush in Pretty Woman. This product is very cool. They describe it as a lipstick/lipstain/lip balm/lipgloss, rolled into one. I know it sounds impossible, but it’s kinda true. The texture and color are great. I have to say it’s a little more of a stain then a lipstick but it still adds great color. Pretty Woman again is red…yes, still on the red kick. I love it! Til next time, cheers!

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Living

15 Sep

2012-06-26 04.18.22

Well, the first of my cancer checks is in and it’s clean! This past week I had an ultrasound/biopsy looked at for a ‘funny looking’ lymph node under my arm and it was clean! One step closer to a clean bill of health for another 6 months! Next up, blood work and possible ultrasound for my neck…the original sight of my cancer…sigh, one day at a time. This was also a big week for my kids. My oldest got his first job!! I am so proud and happy for him. He worked hard to become a Red Cross certified lifeguard over the summer and just got a lifeguarding job locally. Considering it was his first actual job interview, he was nervous and was asking what kind of questions they may ask, but he did it! I have a working child! After practicing all summer long for a sport she never played, Audrey made the volleyball team. Again, another proud moment. She is my strong-willed and determined child and once she sets her mind on something she goes for it. She knew she wanted to be on the team so she literally carried a volleyball around the house all summer and practiced non-stop. Well, last week, out of the 40+ that tried out, she made it on the team! Let’s see, what was Alex’s big moment? He started as the quarterback for his flag football team, but was cut short because a player grabbed his thumb instead of the ball and…well, he tore his ligament. Fortunately, it was his left hand and not his throwing hand, so after a week of ‘healing’, he was playing again yesterday, splint on one hand but throwing a touchdown pass with the other. They’re all so different and special.

Life continues to move forward no matter how much I want it to stand still at times. Recently a friend asked when exactly a cancer patient feels somewhat free of cancer, that moment when you start forgetting. I thought about it, and I think it’s never. It’s been almost three years for me (not without some scares in between of course), and it’s still on my mind. It may not be as prevalent as it used to be, but every time I get a sore throat, a cough, a weird ache or pain, I wonder. Every check up, ultrasound, PET scan, bloodwork, I still hold my breath; and then there’s the scar I see everytime I look in the mirror. It’s not bad, I just see all those things as reminders of not only what I’ve been through, but also helps me focus on how I want my life to be. Life is fleeting…Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say…, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.~Pope Paul VI We are not invincible, we are all dying. Because of that situation happening personally, I am struggling to find joy and peace. I know they’re there but sometimes relationships or circumstances continue to grate at you and steal it away. Looking at my picture of the Eiffel Tower above, I know that looking up from the bottom is overwhelming, but getting to the top is always achievable. Again, life is short, so I will continue to grab at the small bits of joy, peace, and hope for a better tomorrow, however brief those moments may be until I can breathe again. I continue looking up. Thank you all for your support and for continuing to follow my lipstick journey!lips

Today I wear Rimmel Kate Lasting Finish Lipstick in #111, Kiss Of Life. These lipsticks are matte but not too drying so I don’t mind them with a little bit of lip balm (on this I would use Philosophy, Kiss Me), or gloss. This color is RED and I mean classic, bright, blue red (at least on me). Remember what I said last week about my lips not entering the room before me? Well, when I wear this, I think my lips would be in the room the day before I got there. Sometimes a gal just needs a good red and you gotta love the name, Kiss of Life! Cheers!

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Busy Busy

8 Sep

2013-07-05 04.25.31

This week was a long week and I’m exhausted (as usual). You would think it was easy because Monday was a holiday and I had the day off! Well, Tuesday was the first day of school for my three kids. For the first time they are at three different schools; high school, junior high, and elementary. That basically means that one gets up at 5:30 am, one at 6:30, and one at 7:30….which also means, mom is awake by 5:30 making sure things are running smoothly for all of them while also getting ready for work.  Sigh….they grow up so fast. Remember in one of my last blogs I mentioned September was the month of all my check up appointments? Well, this week I saw a breast surgeon (from my breast cancer scare last March). She did the exam and said that everything looked good for now which was a relief. At the end, she rolled in her ultrasound machine and checked my lymph nodes under my arm and found one that looked a little suspicious, similar to what they saw on the PET scan last March so to be safe, I am going to do another ultrasound at the hospital with a possible biopsy…fun times….and I haven’t even gotten my neck checked yet!

kids2013

Fall in Michigan brings a change in seasons, cooler temperatures, and allergies, which for me means a little diffiulty breathing. That’s ok, I’ll survive, it’s just that constant reminder (along with the scar on my neck) on what I’ve been through and how far I’ve come. Life is constantly changing like the seasons and every season brings the unknown. We make different choices that lead us in different directions every moment of every day; some good and some bad; but isn’t that what makes life an adventure? I referenced before that I am going through a difficult personal situation, top that with my tests and a new job, life can be a little overwhelming lately. One awesome thing this week was that I was assigned to be an angel mentor to someone going through a similar cancer journey through an organization called Imerman Angels. If you need support or would like to be a mentor, I suggest you look at their website! I appreciate your constant prayers and encouragement, but I do love living the adventure with no fear because I know God has a plan. I think I used this quote in my book, or maybe just on this blog, but I love it:  Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.~ Corrie Ten Boom.  Life is crazy, fun, exciting, and heartbreaking…..what a great adventure!

Today I wear Lancome L’Absolu Rouge lipstick in my favorite fall/winter color Merlot. This is a warm, wine-red that is my go to red. I love the color because it is not too bright and doesn’t make me feel like my lips are entering the room before me. I also love that this lisptick is moisturizing too. Lastly, I love a good Merlot…Cheers!

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Humpty Dumpty

29 Aug

humpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again. (English Rhyme, origin unknown)

This rhyme came to me the other day as I was thinking about where I am today and where I came from, strange I know. Why? Lots of reasons. How many times can you get hurt or ‘break’ before there are too many broken parts to repair? There’s a lot of talk about courage and strength with cancer and cancer recovery, but there’s another side. For as much strength it builds within you, I think there may be an equal amount of ‘weakness’ and vulnerability. The first time cancer came, I felt my pseudo-strong exterior crack a little; with the bad prognosis initially, the crack deepened. When cancer came back a second and third time, more cracks, with each scare in between either from something visible on PET scan, ultrasound, or abnormal blood work, crack, crack, crack. I have to admit that I went through a very dark period earlier this year when the news that instead of cancer coming back in my neck, it may have been in my breast (which is now on watch too). The cracks brought me deeper and I felt irreparable, my normal positive attitude and tough exterior left me.

But this can happen with  more than cancer right? A relationship, a boss, a friend or acquaintance…words and actions can cause these cracks and breaks in your hard shell of an exterior and break your heart. I recently drove by a store called The Self Esteem Shop, no, really. I’m sure the store has many valuable resources, but can you buy self-esteem? I wish. Are you born with self esteem issues? Not that I know of. So where does that come from? Words and actions from others causing those cracks along the way with you believing them. So what does one do when you feel broken? You thank God for how he designed you and you surround yourself with people who love and believe in you because they are your ‘glue’. Am I the same as I was after constantly being ‘glued’ back together? Not really but I actually think I may be stronger (and weaker) than ever. My weak self lets me grieve the things cancer took away from me. My vulnerable self allows me to still let people in. The strength emerging from the cracks is overwhelming. I want to live life. If you’ve been broken, there’s always hope. God made you and loves you; and don’t forget that you also have the power of words and actions that can cause peace or pain…you decide.

“Words are like eggs dropped from great heights; you can no more call them back than ignore the mess they leave when they fall.” ― Jodi Picoult

Today I wear Urban Decay Revolution Lipstick in F-Bomb…speaking of words…sorry. Urban Decay has not exactly been known for their lipstick, I have always loved their eyeliners, fun colors and they stay put. They just came out with these highly pigmented and super moisturizing lipsticks and they are pretty nice! I chose this color because it is a classic red (and partly for the name). It’s hard sometimes to find a creamy red vs. a red that dries out your lips. This one’s great!  Cheers!

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Sweet 16

25 Aug

2013-07-03 03.24.36

Last week I decided to throw my son a surprise birthday party for his 16th birthday. The previous week, he was undecided as to whether or not he even wanted to invite people over so I decided to take the initiative and do it myself. I hijacked his cell phone and texted a friend of his to tell other friends. I also contacted a couple moms of boys he’s friends with. Up until the day of the party, I wasn’t sure how many would come. Friday night as they arrived in cars of 2-3 people, I saw my son’s face and I knew he was happy. More kids than I thought showed up (of course), and although it made me nervous watching 16 year old boys and girls in the pool and then trying to watch them in the dark at the firepit, I was happy. Being a teenager is hard. As I sat there watching them interact I thought about myself at 16 and what, if I could, tell my 16 year old self. OK, keep in mind, when I was 16, I was super shy (introvert remember) and a little geeky. On the other hand, at 16, I was on a TV show and my mom entered me in a couple beauty pageants to break me of my shyness and instill confidence; fortunately and unfortunately, I won those. I played varsity tennis, was in showchoir and did the school plays, the stage allowed me to be a different person. Because of all this, my shyness and introversion were misconstrued as self absorption and stuck up by most, leaving me even more insecure. Despite the insecurities of my teenage self, I had a few close friends and still had fun.

So what would I tell my 16 year old self?

  • Don’t grow up too fast, live your life and have fun2013-07-03 01.05.50
  • Dream big
  • Be yourself and don’t let another person change you
  • Take risks because life is short
  • There will always be critics, either ignore them or prove them wrong
  • Be grateful, love people

The list of lessons could go on and on. It’s kinda the same stuff I have to remind myself of daily, even now. I think between responsibilty and daily living, we forget. I’m thankful for all the lessons I’ve learned along the way, would I have changed some things? No doubt, but I know one thing for sure, I’m  glad I’m not 16 anymore!

Today I wear NYX Round lipstick in Hero. You can find these lipsticks at Ulta or order them online. Surprisingly NYX make up is pretty great. This lipstick is both moisturizing and fairly long lasting. They have a wide variety of inexpensive products, in fact, this lipstick runs around $4! I chose this color because I’m still in my fiery ‘red’ mood and I love the name. Who doesn’t want to be a hero? Cheers!

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