Tag Archives: thyroid

Perspective

6 Jan

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Why do bears hibernate? The thought has always sounded somewhat appealing to me…eat a bunch to fatten up, find a dark cave, then sleep all winter long. Well, here I am. Stuck in my house, literally. After about 16 inches of snow and below freezing temperatures, I’m stuck.You know when you tell kids they can’t have something, that becomes the object they absolutely want. It’s like that right? Stay in, it’s not smart to leave (believe me, I tried and got stuck in the driveway)now, all I want to do is leave, drive, be free…really ridiculous. So now what? Change of perspective. I’m in a warm house, I have food to last until I can dig myself out, I have electricity which keeps the heat on, and I have wifi and a cell phone which keeps me connected to the outside world (you guys). My boss also let us stay home today which was perfect so I could catch up on paperwork. Like the bear (although it’s only been one day), I’ve been eating enough to feel like I’m fattening up to keep warm for the winter. I have to admit, it’s beautiful outside. A fresh blanket of white always makes things look clean and peaceful.photo 2

The same goes with life right? A simple change of perspective is all we need sometimes. Disney has skewed our mindset a little, life is not always ‘happily ever after’, it’s not a fairytale. There are twists and turns around every bend that on our best day we cannot predict. Sometimes you have to look at life from all the angles to gain true perspective and sometimes we simply have to look in the mirror. ‘We can complain because rose bushes have thorns, or rejoice because thorn bushes have roses.’― Abraham Lincoln

Today I wear something that I love so much that I went ahead and bought 4, yes 4 tubes of it to make sure I had enough through the winter in case they decided to discontinue it. It is Nivea lip balm in A Kiss of Cherry. I love it! Since my lips are a little dry in the winter I constantly apply lip balm, this contains shea butter so it keeps lips moist (hate that word), but it has a red tint to it which adds just enough color and cherry flavor. To me, it is a great improvement to Cherry Chapstick, although I like that too. This one’s just alot less waxy. Cheers!

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The Future

3 Dec

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I have had a lot on my mind lately and it’s been hard to sort and filter through all of it. On the one hand, there are lots of cool and exciting things happening and I feel stronger than I’ve felt in a long time both physically and mentally. On the other hand, there’s a lot of change with a mix of fear and sadness. It’s quite the conundrum. It’s like ice skating (which I don’t do very well by the way) on thin ice. You feel your face in the wind and you see an awesome goal that you’re skating toward, yet, the ice is so thin that at any moment it could crack and suck you under; being on the verge of crazy laughter and tears at the same time. I can’t really explain but maybe you’ve been there….the crazy place between now and then, here or there, yesterday and tomorrow. Sheesh I’m getting deep….I don’t even understand myself. So what happens now? I guess it’s like I always say, something I remind myself and try to do every moment of every day…..live life. It starts getting crazy when you start thinking of the who, what, where, when, because I think that is when we try to control the circumstances. One thing I know, there are some things we can control but there are many, many things we can’t. So where does that leave me? I can’t change the past so I must look forward. I’m excited about what the future brings, but until then, I live and love one day at a time. Appreciating each day for what it is, because every tomorrow is the future.

Today I wear Urban Decay Revolution Lipstick in Naked. I’m pretty sure I’ve written about these lipsticks before but they’re awesome! They have lots of color and staying power and they are moisturizing on top of that! I chose this color because it is the perfect nudey-pink, not too brown, and not too blah. Plus the name…naked, just me moving forward one day at a time. Cheers!

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Happiness

30 Nov

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“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.”   ~Lucius Seneca

Thanksgiving has come and gone. This year was a quiet one for me and it was also the first year I haven’t cooked (remember a couple blogs ago how I felt about cooking?), so it was good. I was able to spend time with family and also a few friends over the past few days and actually laughed more than I have in awhile. I read the quote above and I find it to be so true. Happiness is one thing, but contentment is so much more. Enjoying the present and resting in the satisfaction of what we already have; just being grateful. There are many millionaires in this world who continue wanting more…are they happy? Contrast that with the poor, the people in impoverished countries, those who know nothing about turkey, pumpkin pie, or even simply clean water…are they content? I venture to say that at times maybe they are more content. This Thanksgiving I have so much to be grateful for and despite the many obstacles and stresses that life continues to bring, I’m content.  If you look in the dictionary the definitions for contentment and happiness are very similar if not the same in some, but I believe a little differently. Happiness comes and goes based on the situation whereas contentment brings in the grateful factor. What’s the definition of gratefulness? According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, it is being thankful for a helpful act; appreciation of benefits received. Gratefulness is appreciating the gifts we have, the things in life that are free. Friendship, kindness, laughter, sunshine, snow, running water, etc. Open your eyes, every moment is a gift and we are never assured of the next moment. Do you have to be happy to be grateful? Just the opposite, you have to be grateful to be happy. I am outrageously grateful for what I have and the people that are in my life. I rest in the fact that there are many things I cannot control but I have a God that does.

Christmas is coming up and the hype of shopping and presents and things has officially arrived. It’s a great and beautiful time of year but it can also be a stressful time for some. The hunt for the perfect parking space, the hunt for the perfect present, combined with the stress of being with family, or having none. It’s a good time to stop and rest in the moment. Be that person to show kindness, compassion, patience; give the recipient a reason to be grateful whether they accept it or not.

Today it’s Rimmel Lasting Finish lipstick in Kiss of Life. On the web it looks like a deep plum…it’s red. These are matte so a little dry for me. I mainly chose this for the name. We could all use a Kiss of Life right? Cheers!

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Inspirations

24 Nov

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This week’s topic for my blogging group GBE2 is inspirations; movies, music, people, whatever or whomever is inspiring us lately. Well, this list could go on and on for me but not with famous musicians, athletes, movie stars, and not even Oprah. Really, just the people around me. My friends Dawn, Leanna, Frances, overcoming some difficult youth situations and using those experiences to help others (me in particular). Your incredible support astounds me. My friends Callie and Grace, supermoms for different reasons, your strength and courage in your daily situations blow me away. Thank you for your friendship always. Stacie who juggles work, family, and volunteerism but still has time to listen and support my family.  Lissa, despite her circumstances, continues to push to be a better mom; whose friendship goes above and beyond. Bev who adopted a beautiful little girl just as her son was leaving for college. Jill, inspiring me to bring ‘Anna’ back. Lori and Donna whose work in the communities never cease, amazing what one person can do. Michelle and Melissa, two fiercely strong women who stood by their men while juggling work and family, through all of the ups and downs of their cancer treatments. Steve and Paula, two mentors I look up to, all love, no judgment. Dr. Rubin, Dr. Menaldi, and Marie, whose belief in my voice and spirit to overcome never wavered. To my beautiful radiation partner and friend ‘B’ who despite being in severe pain and sitting in a hospital all week, still sends me notes of encouragement. ‘B’, you are one of the kindest and strongest men I know, so glad you’ve been a part of my life. Jen(Chapstick), who checks in consistently, always positive, always encouraging, always making me laugh. To my crazy friend who quotes movie lines and song lyrics, you inspire me to ‘stay gold’ (The Outsiders), and laugh. To my awesome kids who make me want to be a better mom and a better person all the time. My incredibly talented brother who continues to follow his dreams. Although there are many ups and downs, you always land on your feet (and always land a gig too). You are incredible and those times you may stop believing in yourself (nature of your industry), I will always believe in you. My parents, who left everything and everyone they knew for a better life for their kids. It wasn’t always easy but we were never in want or need of anything…plus look at how good we turned out (haha).

Like I said, I am surrounded by inspiring people, too many to mention. All different, all from different backgrounds, all with a story. There are many famous people we could look to for inspiration but I think it’s just as easy to look at the pool of people surrounding you. Everyone brings something to the world and I believe those around us, if even for a season, are there for a reason. ‘People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived, reclaimed, and redeemed. Never throw out anyone.’ ~Audrey Hepburn. Thank you all and Happy Thanksgiving!

Today I am not going to name a lipstick color but recommend you go to Sephora.com.  This is the best time of year for lipstick sets. Since the holidays are upon us many cosmetic companies put gift sets together of their most popular products in the most popular colors. Some are small versions but some are full sized, but all of the sets are specially priced and a lot less expensive than normal. NOW is the time to try something new! Cheers!

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Weak

29 Oct

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Seriously, last week was one of the most crazy emotional weeks of the year. From getting the goodbye letter from ‘B’, to having to work the next day at not only the place we met,  but where I was the most sick, to hearing the good news about my cancer journey ending for awhile, to celebrating my birthday. Add to that a few other personal obstacles, and now I’m exhausted. I have no desire to repeat the plethora of events and emotions…ever. Do you ever feel your weakest when you’re supposed to feel your strongest? After running through my week with a friend, she commented on how she thought I was ‘amazingly strong,’ It’s funny to me to hear that because at the same moment, I feel incredibly weak. I think we all need to put that armor up because life is a lot like that arcade game where you hold a cushioned hammer and the gophers or moles continually pop up and you have to be ready to bop them back in to get points. The better you are at the game, the faster they come out. That’s life. You never quite handle it because things keep popping up. The minute you think you have the hang of it, things come at you faster. Part of me wants to just shelter myself with armor and walk away from the game. Keep that hard shell on and not get affected by people, events, emotions; it almost sounds easier. Instead, I keep playing. I keep being vulnerable, I keep taking one step at a time, I keep loving, leaving my heart open for either hurt or even better, getting love back. Yeah, I feel weak. I don’t think it’s only strength that we need anyway, sometimes life is simply about endurance to get us through the tough times. So that’s where I want to be, weak with an open heart to love, courage to face obstacles head on, and the endurance to work through all the yuck without giving up or wrapping myself back in armor; rolled together, that’s strength. One who gains strength by overcoming obstacles possesses the only strength  which can overcome adversity.~Albert  Schweitzer

Today’s lipstick is Nars Fire Down Below. It is a semi-matte blood red lipstick. You can always count on Nars for great colors and great lipstick names. Since it’s a semi-matte, it is a bit drying to me but wow, talk about red! I chose this color because it’s red hot! Also, the name makes me blush. Which by the way, if you’re going to be wearing this lipstick or any bright red lipstick, keep the rest of your face simple.  Cheers to a new day!

 

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My Birthday

25 Oct

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Today is my birthday. It is bittersweet for me because I am still thinking about my friend ‘B’ from my last blog. Yesterday, for my job, I had to go to the place I met ‘B’ and it brought tears to my eyes thinking about all that transpired there. I walked in with a heavy heart thinking I was walking in healthy this time, while he walked out just days before with his news. It’s really a lot of emotions. One thing I know about ‘B’ is he really knew how to live. Cancer was not the only obstacle he faced in life. He was in the Vietnam War, he was a POW, he had a stroke prior to his cancer diagnosis…so much, and he constantly told me to ‘not sweat the small stuff’ and to hold my kids close. It’s so simple yet we ask for so much, don’t we?

hospitalGrowing up my family was always big on celebrating birthdays. Not necessarily with huge parties, but always recognizing the day and making you feel special. Part of that I think, is when we came from the Philippines when I was two, we didn’t have any other family here. Anytime we could celebrate each other, we did. Birthdays for me post cancer have taken even more meaning; every time I do a Relay for Life Walk, I see T-shirts and signs saying Happy Birthday and they always make me cry. The American Cancer Society’s saying is ‘Creating More Birthdays.’ Yes, it is just a day, but to me, it’s now a day to remember the past and to look forward with hope for the future. It’s also a day I get to re-evaluate my bucket list. When I was younger I had some outrageous dreams and goals many of which I have been able to achieve. Today, I still of course have some crazy dreams that I pray will happen, but my focus is more on the simple. Taking my cue from ‘B’:

  • Don’t sweat the small stuffphoto courtesy of Leanna Vite Photography
  • Open your heart and love people. Yes it hurts more when you hurt, but it’s worth it
  • Don’t take things too seriously, laugh more (even if it’s at yourself)
  • Take more risks
  • Do what you can do, and let go of the rest
  • Listen to people’s stories before judging
  • Be kind, smile often
  • Be a hero
  • Party like it’s 1999 (just kidding…not really)

I also finally have some good news to share…my blood work that I have been waiting for for the first time is CLEAN!! My doctor who’s usually even keeled and calm shouted, ‘I have good news!’ the minute I said ‘hello’. He said my levels are undetectable and then said, see you in a year. A YEAR!! I have been checked every three to six months for the past 5 years and now he says, ‘it’s over, see you next year.’  I’m ecstatic and finally kind of able to take a step back and breathe. So today, I wear one of my favorite red/burgundy lipsticks of all time, Lancôme L’Absolu’ Rouge lipstick in Merlot. I love it because the formula is creamy and not drying, second, the color is a deeper red so my lips are not shouting ‘I’M HERE!’, and third, it’s my birthday and I love a good Merlot. Let’s celebrate life, CHEERS!

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Fall

5 Oct

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It’s October, the beginning of fall in Michigan, my favorite time of year. I love the cooler temperatures, but most of all, I love all the colors. The leaves are changing and falling and it reminds me that life is never stagnant. Life is ever changing and just when you get a little bored, it switches gears again, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. In a few weeks I will be celebrating my birthday. If you look up life expectancy for a female in my area, it is 81 years old. So, considering my age, my life is half over….depressing. Since I am an optimist…wow, I still have almost half my life yet to live (sounds better don’t you think?). This past week has been pretty big for me. Last Wednesday I attended the TEDxDetroit conference and it was awesome. For those unfamiliar with TED, it is a gathering of leaders, creators, entrepeneurs, artists who meet and share their passions and positive ideas for change. I have to admit I felt a little out of place, it seemed too big for me to be there, but I’m so glad I went. Afterward, I thought, why not me? each person there was exactly that…one person desiring change and trying to make a difference…so, why not me…why not you? Some of the great quotes I heard ,‘Take care of your fears or they will own you,’~ John U. Bacon; ‘Experience life changes….allow them to affect you, change you, guide you,’ ~Nathan Hughes; ‘The job of a leader is to define reality,’~ Jackie Victor. There was so much energy and inspiration there and it was there to push each of us to be catalysts, I’m ready, how about you?

Attendees at TEDxDetroit

Attendees at TEDxDetroit

Also this week it was test time for me again, yes, that small reminder that I had cancer. It’s not bad, a couple weeks ago the breast cancer stuff was clean, and now was a general neck test. I did the regular exam in which my doc said, ‘You look healthy, but then again, you always look healthy, cancer or no cancer.’ OK, kinda comforting. Anyhow, after 3 vials of blood, I wait. One of the tests, if you have been reading my blog for some time, is a test that’s only done on very few people because not only was my cancer rare, but I also carry an antibody which messes up the regular blood test that would be able to detect my cancer. In fact, this test was only approved by the FDA last year. Because of that, this blood test is only run once every few weeks so I should be getting the results in 3-4 weeks…or somewhere near my birthday, excellent. Can’t worry about nothing right now! To be completely transparent, my mind’s been all over the place lately…still struggling with the personal issue I referenced awhile back along with new-ish job, cancer check ups, etc; but as always life moves forward. In one of the most watched talks on TED titled ‘How To Live Before You Die’, Steve Jobs says, ‘Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be  trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most  important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.’  Ask any cancer patient and boy do we know our time is limited! I look back at my 40+ (whoops, almost revealed my age), and I’ve made some mistakes, some bad choices, some good; the great thing is, is I can look forward with lessons and experiences from my past, knowing full well that my time is limited and continue on with courage in my ‘second half’.

Today I wear Dior Addict Gloss in Princess. I LOVE all the Dior lipsticks and glosses. The lipsticks are extremely moisturizing and the colors are beautiful. The glosses are not heavy or sticky yet they have pretty good staying power. The color Princess is light pink with a little bit of sparkle, something you would picture Cinderella wearing. I chose this color because it’s simple. I’ve been wearing alot of red lately, but today I chose simple because that’s how I want to be today, simply at peace. Cheers!

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Busy Busy

8 Sep

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This week was a long week and I’m exhausted (as usual). You would think it was easy because Monday was a holiday and I had the day off! Well, Tuesday was the first day of school for my three kids. For the first time they are at three different schools; high school, junior high, and elementary. That basically means that one gets up at 5:30 am, one at 6:30, and one at 7:30….which also means, mom is awake by 5:30 making sure things are running smoothly for all of them while also getting ready for work.  Sigh….they grow up so fast. Remember in one of my last blogs I mentioned September was the month of all my check up appointments? Well, this week I saw a breast surgeon (from my breast cancer scare last March). She did the exam and said that everything looked good for now which was a relief. At the end, she rolled in her ultrasound machine and checked my lymph nodes under my arm and found one that looked a little suspicious, similar to what they saw on the PET scan last March so to be safe, I am going to do another ultrasound at the hospital with a possible biopsy…fun times….and I haven’t even gotten my neck checked yet!

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Fall in Michigan brings a change in seasons, cooler temperatures, and allergies, which for me means a little diffiulty breathing. That’s ok, I’ll survive, it’s just that constant reminder (along with the scar on my neck) on what I’ve been through and how far I’ve come. Life is constantly changing like the seasons and every season brings the unknown. We make different choices that lead us in different directions every moment of every day; some good and some bad; but isn’t that what makes life an adventure? I referenced before that I am going through a difficult personal situation, top that with my tests and a new job, life can be a little overwhelming lately. One awesome thing this week was that I was assigned to be an angel mentor to someone going through a similar cancer journey through an organization called Imerman Angels. If you need support or would like to be a mentor, I suggest you look at their website! I appreciate your constant prayers and encouragement, but I do love living the adventure with no fear because I know God has a plan. I think I used this quote in my book, or maybe just on this blog, but I love it:  Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.~ Corrie Ten Boom.  Life is crazy, fun, exciting, and heartbreaking…..what a great adventure!

Today I wear Lancome L’Absolu Rouge lipstick in my favorite fall/winter color Merlot. This is a warm, wine-red that is my go to red. I love the color because it is not too bright and doesn’t make me feel like my lips are entering the room before me. I also love that this lisptick is moisturizing too. Lastly, I love a good Merlot…Cheers!

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Words

12 Aug

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Hi Again! Last week I spent the week away training with other new people for my new job. It’s always a great time meeting new people, hearing about their backgrounds and what they’ve been through to get them where they are today. What I find interesting is that usually, what you see and assume about a person is different than what’s inside. Very cool. Anyhow, there were 6 of us for the week, mostly in the same position but from different parts of the country. Since we spent so much time together we really got to know each other, which made training much more fun. On the way home my flight was delayed a couple hours so I ended up talking to a young woman from Ethiopia for a while. She didn’t share too much except that she has only been living here a couple years and had three jobs in between going to college. We spoke of different challenges we both are facing in our lives and I was amazed at both her calm and grateful spririt. You know it’s good when you walk away from someone feeling a little uplifted and still smiling.

On the airplane I sat next to a woman who was constantly writing letters on notecards. I finally broke down and asked her if she had a million penpals and she told me that once a month she likes to send out letters of encouragement to people she knows. About the same time the flight attendant asked if we wanted a drink and before she asked for anything she told the flight attendant how warm and beautiful his smile was. This flight was the last of the night, it was full, and it was delayed. This flight attendant’s face lit up and was so grateful for the compliment. He stood and spoke with us a few extra minutes and we both ended up with pretzels, peanuts, and cookies! She turned to me and said, ‘See? Just a little encouragement’. I have to admit it, I love it too. To be encouraged, smiled at, complimented, we all need it, right?

So, from the people I met in training, to the girl from Ethiopia, then the lady in seat 5A, words and encouragement matter to everyone, don’t forget. “Yelling at living things does tend to kill the spirit in them. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts…”
― Robert Fulghum

Today I wear Nars lipstick in Shanghai Express. These lipsticks are great. The semi-matte formulas are creamy but with staying power. I chose this color because it’s brick red…yes, i’m feeling the red again. Cheers!

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Change

31 Jul

fall clouds

Boy, I’m really slacking on writing this blog, sorry. Tomorrow is August 1 and the summer is breezing by like a tornado. Since coming back from our long vacation, life has been a bit challenging, still healthy thank goodness, but lots going on. One of the current changes is, I once again have a new job! I know, it seems like my job turns over more times than Taylor Swift’s boyfriends, but my industry is shrinking and in constant flux so I am just hanging on until the end. My last company was starting to feel the pinch and since I’ve heard the down-size and lay off language before, I knew to start looking. Fortunately at the same time a manager from one of my previous companies contacted me with an opening and it was actually for a job back in the space I love. God’s timing is awesome. Anyhow, back in transition and testing and stress, but worth it.

Change can be scary but often times it is necessary. Next year for the first time, all my kids will be in different schools; one in high school, one in middle school, and one still in elementary…wow, that should be fun. As they get older all I can do is pray that they make good decisions, follow their dreams, and not lose their voice in the crowd. I look back and can honestly say, because I was kinda geeky and quiet, a total introvert and a people pleaser on top of that, sometimes I lost my voice (figuratively). I tried so hard to fit in that I agreed with things and did things hoping it would make me more liked or more popular. My opinion or feelings about something didn’t matter as long as others thought I was right there with them. It is so easy to lose your voice when you are counting on others to like you. Guess what? There will always be people that don’t like you, don’t agree with you, and don’t really care, however hard you try. This is a message I try to tell my kids during this great time of peer pressure. But it doesn’t stop after high school, or college does it? We do it as adults too eventually losing ourselves to try to please others. Cancer has taught me that life is short and losing my voice (literally) has made me want to step out of my shell and use it more! It’s easy to get caught up in getting validation from other people, but your voice is already beautiful. Don’t lose it along the way.

Today I wear Chanel Glossimer lipgloss in Giggle. These glosses are so easy to wear, and this one’s a pinky brown color; I own a few different ones. They all add just a hint of color.They are not thick and don’t feel sticky. I chose Giggle because I love to laugh, something that I need more of right now. It’ll come…Cheers!

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