Tag Archives: family

Cheerleader

20 Oct

morning magic

This week I went to a national meeting for my company for a few days. It was a lot of work but a lot of fun too. It was the first chance for me to meet the rest of my team along with the rest of the sales force from across the country. I have to say, everyone’s different but that’s what makes it great. Anyhow, the first day we were there it was Boss’s Day and we got our manager a card. It hit me as I thanked him that I was working for this man for the third time in my 20+ year career. I won’t name him but we first met while training together out of college over 20 years ago. I was about 2 weeks ahead of his small training class of three people and we interacted briefly over a two week period and went our merry ways. 10 years later during a downsize of my company at the time, I was interviewing with another company and he walked in on a second interview and was introduced as the new manager taking over. He hired me and although he wasn’t always easy, he was a great manager. Well, that company got bought after a few years and we separated again. Three years later he called about a job with another company…worked for him again. He left about a year later for a better opportunity and four years after that, I was downsized again. Last summer, he had an opening with his current company and called, and the rest is history. We have kept in touch on and off over the years but one thing I know for sure, he believes in me. When cancer hit me a third time I had not been working for him in awhile yet he showed up at the hospital to tell me that he and his family were there for me and praying for me.

How does it feel when someone believes in you? Amazing. My boss ‘D’ knew about my cancer history and he still hired me (I have to say, I am pretty good at my job). He also knows about the difficult situation that I am in currently and his belief in me hasn’t wavered one bit. I get choked up thinking about it because my life is crazy right now. Something else happens when someone believes in you so much, you don’t want to disappoint. I actually work even harder because I don’t want to disappoint him. It’s a great sign of good leadership; all we need is one cheerleader to help us believe we can accomplish great things. Thanks ‘D’ for being my career cheerleader, and friend, all these years.

It’s the repetition of affirmations that leads to belief. And once that  belief becomes a deep conviction, things begin to happen. ~ Muhammad Ali

Today I wear Smashbox Be Legendary Lipstick in Legendary. These lipsticks are creamy and long lasting. They are not as moisturizing as some of the others but they do have pretty good staying power. I chose this color because it’s red (yup, back to red lips), and because of the name. Who doesn’t want to be legendary? Be someone’s cheerleader and help them get a good start! Cheers!

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Fall

5 Oct

photo 5

It’s October, the beginning of fall in Michigan, my favorite time of year. I love the cooler temperatures, but most of all, I love all the colors. The leaves are changing and falling and it reminds me that life is never stagnant. Life is ever changing and just when you get a little bored, it switches gears again, sometimes a little, sometimes a lot. In a few weeks I will be celebrating my birthday. If you look up life expectancy for a female in my area, it is 81 years old. So, considering my age, my life is half over….depressing. Since I am an optimist…wow, I still have almost half my life yet to live (sounds better don’t you think?). This past week has been pretty big for me. Last Wednesday I attended the TEDxDetroit conference and it was awesome. For those unfamiliar with TED, it is a gathering of leaders, creators, entrepeneurs, artists who meet and share their passions and positive ideas for change. I have to admit I felt a little out of place, it seemed too big for me to be there, but I’m so glad I went. Afterward, I thought, why not me? each person there was exactly that…one person desiring change and trying to make a difference…so, why not me…why not you? Some of the great quotes I heard ,‘Take care of your fears or they will own you,’~ John U. Bacon; ‘Experience life changes….allow them to affect you, change you, guide you,’ ~Nathan Hughes; ‘The job of a leader is to define reality,’~ Jackie Victor. There was so much energy and inspiration there and it was there to push each of us to be catalysts, I’m ready, how about you?

Attendees at TEDxDetroit

Attendees at TEDxDetroit

Also this week it was test time for me again, yes, that small reminder that I had cancer. It’s not bad, a couple weeks ago the breast cancer stuff was clean, and now was a general neck test. I did the regular exam in which my doc said, ‘You look healthy, but then again, you always look healthy, cancer or no cancer.’ OK, kinda comforting. Anyhow, after 3 vials of blood, I wait. One of the tests, if you have been reading my blog for some time, is a test that’s only done on very few people because not only was my cancer rare, but I also carry an antibody which messes up the regular blood test that would be able to detect my cancer. In fact, this test was only approved by the FDA last year. Because of that, this blood test is only run once every few weeks so I should be getting the results in 3-4 weeks…or somewhere near my birthday, excellent. Can’t worry about nothing right now! To be completely transparent, my mind’s been all over the place lately…still struggling with the personal issue I referenced awhile back along with new-ish job, cancer check ups, etc; but as always life moves forward. In one of the most watched talks on TED titled ‘How To Live Before You Die’, Steve Jobs says, ‘Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be  trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking.  Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most  important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.’  Ask any cancer patient and boy do we know our time is limited! I look back at my 40+ (whoops, almost revealed my age), and I’ve made some mistakes, some bad choices, some good; the great thing is, is I can look forward with lessons and experiences from my past, knowing full well that my time is limited and continue on with courage in my ‘second half’.

Today I wear Dior Addict Gloss in Princess. I LOVE all the Dior lipsticks and glosses. The lipsticks are extremely moisturizing and the colors are beautiful. The glosses are not heavy or sticky yet they have pretty good staying power. The color Princess is light pink with a little bit of sparkle, something you would picture Cinderella wearing. I chose this color because it’s simple. I’ve been wearing alot of red lately, but today I chose simple because that’s how I want to be today, simply at peace. Cheers!

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The Cancer Card

21 Sep
From Playthecard.org (Stupidcancer.org)

From Playthecard.org
(Stupidcancer.org)

One thing I can’t stand is people making immediate judgements or conclusions about someone based on how they look, how they dress, how they talk, etc.  I know I’ve been guilty of this, we all have, right? I’ve always been pretty quiet, a natural introvert, but since I spent much of my life on a stage, many people have interpreted my quiet nature to be arrogance sometimes. It obviously was quite the opposite. I used the stage to come out of my shell and at times be someone different, then afterwards, if you know anything about introverts, I would need quiet to recharge. On top of that, I’ve always been fairly shy so putting myself out there to be social was a huge stretch for me. About 12 years ago I was sent to a management ‘retreat’ where we took the Myers Briggs test to help us decipher our personalities and adapt them to a style of management. The very first component tells you whether you are an introvert or extrovert. What they, and I, found interesting is that I came out exactly in the middle. After speaking to my assigned mentor, he told me that I am a natural introvert but since I had been in sales so long, I had become a forced extrovert…interesting. So, I am still in sales, in a new job, most of my customers are men, but most of the support staff are women. Who is worst and immediate about judging…a woman. Let’s face it, we women are hard on each other. I see it even with my daughter and her age group, girls can be rough at any age. This week I was in one of my offices and the office manager (a woman), just stared at me with disdain on her face as I spoke to a customer (a man). After he left, I tried to engage her in normal conversation and she wasn’t budging, so what did I do? Something I hardly ever do…pulled out the ‘cancer card’. That’s right, I mentioned that it had been hard to maintain a job in a shrinking industry all while fighting cancer off and on for 5 years. Can I tell you her demeanor changed COMPLETELY! The last time I pulled out the cancer card was a few years ago when I still had a bandage over my neck covering my stitches and a guy cut in front of me in a line at a shoe store. I had been waiting awhile and he literally jumped in front of me because he said he was in a hurry. I looked at him, smiled, and said ‘Dude, I have cancer.’ I know, crazy, but I was in line first. Anyhow, this office manager let me say what I needed to say and afterward actually complemented me on how I was the best sales rep she had seen in a while and that she appreciated my intelligence and humility while talking about my products. Wow, really?

Again, I hate that. Why are people nicer to me after I say I had cancer? By the way, you can actually order a cancer card from Stupidcancer.org. The pitch is to cash in the pity chips and milk the diagnosis for all it’s worth…so funny. But really, why can’t we all just be nice from the get go? Two great lessons for me after cancer: Life is short, and everyone has a story. We are the way we are from a combination of our personality and experiences. I love listening to people’s stories and getting to know what they’re about. Think about it next time you make a judgement call on an appearance before you actually speak to someone, you may be surprised.

Today I wear It Cosmetics Vitality Lip Flush in Pretty Woman. This product is very cool. They describe it as a lipstick/lipstain/lip balm/lipgloss, rolled into one. I know it sounds impossible, but it’s kinda true. The texture and color are great. I have to say it’s a little more of a stain then a lipstick but it still adds great color. Pretty Woman again is red…yes, still on the red kick. I love it! Til next time, cheers!

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Living

15 Sep

2012-06-26 04.18.22

Well, the first of my cancer checks is in and it’s clean! This past week I had an ultrasound/biopsy looked at for a ‘funny looking’ lymph node under my arm and it was clean! One step closer to a clean bill of health for another 6 months! Next up, blood work and possible ultrasound for my neck…the original sight of my cancer…sigh, one day at a time. This was also a big week for my kids. My oldest got his first job!! I am so proud and happy for him. He worked hard to become a Red Cross certified lifeguard over the summer and just got a lifeguarding job locally. Considering it was his first actual job interview, he was nervous and was asking what kind of questions they may ask, but he did it! I have a working child! After practicing all summer long for a sport she never played, Audrey made the volleyball team. Again, another proud moment. She is my strong-willed and determined child and once she sets her mind on something she goes for it. She knew she wanted to be on the team so she literally carried a volleyball around the house all summer and practiced non-stop. Well, last week, out of the 40+ that tried out, she made it on the team! Let’s see, what was Alex’s big moment? He started as the quarterback for his flag football team, but was cut short because a player grabbed his thumb instead of the ball and…well, he tore his ligament. Fortunately, it was his left hand and not his throwing hand, so after a week of ‘healing’, he was playing again yesterday, splint on one hand but throwing a touchdown pass with the other. They’re all so different and special.

Life continues to move forward no matter how much I want it to stand still at times. Recently a friend asked when exactly a cancer patient feels somewhat free of cancer, that moment when you start forgetting. I thought about it, and I think it’s never. It’s been almost three years for me (not without some scares in between of course), and it’s still on my mind. It may not be as prevalent as it used to be, but every time I get a sore throat, a cough, a weird ache or pain, I wonder. Every check up, ultrasound, PET scan, bloodwork, I still hold my breath; and then there’s the scar I see everytime I look in the mirror. It’s not bad, I just see all those things as reminders of not only what I’ve been through, but also helps me focus on how I want my life to be. Life is fleeting…Somebody should tell us, right at the start of our lives, that we are dying. Then we might live life to the limit, every minute of every day. Do it! I say…, do it now! There are only so many tomorrows.~Pope Paul VI We are not invincible, we are all dying. Because of that situation happening personally, I am struggling to find joy and peace. I know they’re there but sometimes relationships or circumstances continue to grate at you and steal it away. Looking at my picture of the Eiffel Tower above, I know that looking up from the bottom is overwhelming, but getting to the top is always achievable. Again, life is short, so I will continue to grab at the small bits of joy, peace, and hope for a better tomorrow, however brief those moments may be until I can breathe again. I continue looking up. Thank you all for your support and for continuing to follow my lipstick journey!lips

Today I wear Rimmel Kate Lasting Finish Lipstick in #111, Kiss Of Life. These lipsticks are matte but not too drying so I don’t mind them with a little bit of lip balm (on this I would use Philosophy, Kiss Me), or gloss. This color is RED and I mean classic, bright, blue red (at least on me). Remember what I said last week about my lips not entering the room before me? Well, when I wear this, I think my lips would be in the room the day before I got there. Sometimes a gal just needs a good red and you gotta love the name, Kiss of Life! Cheers!

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Busy Busy

8 Sep

2013-07-05 04.25.31

This week was a long week and I’m exhausted (as usual). You would think it was easy because Monday was a holiday and I had the day off! Well, Tuesday was the first day of school for my three kids. For the first time they are at three different schools; high school, junior high, and elementary. That basically means that one gets up at 5:30 am, one at 6:30, and one at 7:30….which also means, mom is awake by 5:30 making sure things are running smoothly for all of them while also getting ready for work.  Sigh….they grow up so fast. Remember in one of my last blogs I mentioned September was the month of all my check up appointments? Well, this week I saw a breast surgeon (from my breast cancer scare last March). She did the exam and said that everything looked good for now which was a relief. At the end, she rolled in her ultrasound machine and checked my lymph nodes under my arm and found one that looked a little suspicious, similar to what they saw on the PET scan last March so to be safe, I am going to do another ultrasound at the hospital with a possible biopsy…fun times….and I haven’t even gotten my neck checked yet!

kids2013

Fall in Michigan brings a change in seasons, cooler temperatures, and allergies, which for me means a little diffiulty breathing. That’s ok, I’ll survive, it’s just that constant reminder (along with the scar on my neck) on what I’ve been through and how far I’ve come. Life is constantly changing like the seasons and every season brings the unknown. We make different choices that lead us in different directions every moment of every day; some good and some bad; but isn’t that what makes life an adventure? I referenced before that I am going through a difficult personal situation, top that with my tests and a new job, life can be a little overwhelming lately. One awesome thing this week was that I was assigned to be an angel mentor to someone going through a similar cancer journey through an organization called Imerman Angels. If you need support or would like to be a mentor, I suggest you look at their website! I appreciate your constant prayers and encouragement, but I do love living the adventure with no fear because I know God has a plan. I think I used this quote in my book, or maybe just on this blog, but I love it:  Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.~ Corrie Ten Boom.  Life is crazy, fun, exciting, and heartbreaking…..what a great adventure!

Today I wear Lancome L’Absolu Rouge lipstick in my favorite fall/winter color Merlot. This is a warm, wine-red that is my go to red. I love the color because it is not too bright and doesn’t make me feel like my lips are entering the room before me. I also love that this lisptick is moisturizing too. Lastly, I love a good Merlot…Cheers!

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Humpty Dumpty

29 Aug

humpty

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall,
Humpty Dumpty had a great fall.
All the king’s horses and all the king’s men
Couldn’t put Humpty together again. (English Rhyme, origin unknown)

This rhyme came to me the other day as I was thinking about where I am today and where I came from, strange I know. Why? Lots of reasons. How many times can you get hurt or ‘break’ before there are too many broken parts to repair? There’s a lot of talk about courage and strength with cancer and cancer recovery, but there’s another side. For as much strength it builds within you, I think there may be an equal amount of ‘weakness’ and vulnerability. The first time cancer came, I felt my pseudo-strong exterior crack a little; with the bad prognosis initially, the crack deepened. When cancer came back a second and third time, more cracks, with each scare in between either from something visible on PET scan, ultrasound, or abnormal blood work, crack, crack, crack. I have to admit that I went through a very dark period earlier this year when the news that instead of cancer coming back in my neck, it may have been in my breast (which is now on watch too). The cracks brought me deeper and I felt irreparable, my normal positive attitude and tough exterior left me.

But this can happen with  more than cancer right? A relationship, a boss, a friend or acquaintance…words and actions can cause these cracks and breaks in your hard shell of an exterior and break your heart. I recently drove by a store called The Self Esteem Shop, no, really. I’m sure the store has many valuable resources, but can you buy self-esteem? I wish. Are you born with self esteem issues? Not that I know of. So where does that come from? Words and actions from others causing those cracks along the way with you believing them. So what does one do when you feel broken? You thank God for how he designed you and you surround yourself with people who love and believe in you because they are your ‘glue’. Am I the same as I was after constantly being ‘glued’ back together? Not really but I actually think I may be stronger (and weaker) than ever. My weak self lets me grieve the things cancer took away from me. My vulnerable self allows me to still let people in. The strength emerging from the cracks is overwhelming. I want to live life. If you’ve been broken, there’s always hope. God made you and loves you; and don’t forget that you also have the power of words and actions that can cause peace or pain…you decide.

“Words are like eggs dropped from great heights; you can no more call them back than ignore the mess they leave when they fall.” ― Jodi Picoult

Today I wear Urban Decay Revolution Lipstick in F-Bomb…speaking of words…sorry. Urban Decay has not exactly been known for their lipstick, I have always loved their eyeliners, fun colors and they stay put. They just came out with these highly pigmented and super moisturizing lipsticks and they are pretty nice! I chose this color because it is a classic red (and partly for the name). It’s hard sometimes to find a creamy red vs. a red that dries out your lips. This one’s great!  Cheers!

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Sweet 16

25 Aug

2013-07-03 03.24.36

Last week I decided to throw my son a surprise birthday party for his 16th birthday. The previous week, he was undecided as to whether or not he even wanted to invite people over so I decided to take the initiative and do it myself. I hijacked his cell phone and texted a friend of his to tell other friends. I also contacted a couple moms of boys he’s friends with. Up until the day of the party, I wasn’t sure how many would come. Friday night as they arrived in cars of 2-3 people, I saw my son’s face and I knew he was happy. More kids than I thought showed up (of course), and although it made me nervous watching 16 year old boys and girls in the pool and then trying to watch them in the dark at the firepit, I was happy. Being a teenager is hard. As I sat there watching them interact I thought about myself at 16 and what, if I could, tell my 16 year old self. OK, keep in mind, when I was 16, I was super shy (introvert remember) and a little geeky. On the other hand, at 16, I was on a TV show and my mom entered me in a couple beauty pageants to break me of my shyness and instill confidence; fortunately and unfortunately, I won those. I played varsity tennis, was in showchoir and did the school plays, the stage allowed me to be a different person. Because of all this, my shyness and introversion were misconstrued as self absorption and stuck up by most, leaving me even more insecure. Despite the insecurities of my teenage self, I had a few close friends and still had fun.

So what would I tell my 16 year old self?

  • Don’t grow up too fast, live your life and have fun2013-07-03 01.05.50
  • Dream big
  • Be yourself and don’t let another person change you
  • Take risks because life is short
  • There will always be critics, either ignore them or prove them wrong
  • Be grateful, love people

The list of lessons could go on and on. It’s kinda the same stuff I have to remind myself of daily, even now. I think between responsibilty and daily living, we forget. I’m thankful for all the lessons I’ve learned along the way, would I have changed some things? No doubt, but I know one thing for sure, I’m  glad I’m not 16 anymore!

Today I wear NYX Round lipstick in Hero. You can find these lipsticks at Ulta or order them online. Surprisingly NYX make up is pretty great. This lipstick is both moisturizing and fairly long lasting. They have a wide variety of inexpensive products, in fact, this lipstick runs around $4! I chose this color because I’m still in my fiery ‘red’ mood and I love the name. Who doesn’t want to be a hero? Cheers!

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I’m No Popeye

18 Aug

www.freepik.com

Does everyone know who Popeye the sailor man is, or am I that old already?  Anyhow, the gist is this, he was a small statured sailor who, when strength was necessary, would eat a can of spinach then BOOM, killer biceps and all the strength he needed to conquer his obstacle. Favorite phrase, ‘I am what I am.’ If it were only that easy. When I was battling cancer over and over people were commenting on how strong and how brave I was, especially when it kept coming back. Like I’ve said before, what were my other choices? Hide under the covers in bed? No thank you. Right now, to be completely transparent, I am currently going through a difficult personal situation which I’ve shared with only a few people and again, I am hearing the word strength being thrown around. Here’s the thing, being strong is exhausting and I don’t have a magical can of spinach to help me get through, wish I did. So here I am, tired. Tired of continually moving forward, tired of being strong, just worn out. There’s a song that I keep listening to and I feel the words (since I’m such a music lover, I can always find a song). It’s called Worn by Tenth Ave North, Here’s the other thing, remember that triathlon I was a part of in June? True confessions…I just recently got my sneakers back out and I have to say, it felt pretty good to be active again. Another thing weighing on my mind is next month I will be going through all my testing again. I don’t want to. I always have a little anxiety when it’s time for cancer check up because on average the news has been more bad than good. This is my first time going 6 months in between checks and it was a nice break. So, because of everything else going on, I don’t want to know, like I said, I’m already exhausted. So what’s left….the things I do know. Although I don’t have magic spinach, I have friends and family that love me and continue to support and encourage me, and I have a loving God who is bigger than any trouble or trial; that is more than enough. For today, I am going to stay in ‘suspend’, not focused on my testing, or moving forward, just staying still (except for when I put my sneakers back on later to work out again). Sorry for being a downer. Be still, and know that I am God-Ps 46:10

Today I wear Chantecaille Lip Chic lipstick in Heirloom. I LOVE LOVE LOVE these lipsticks. They have great color and are super moisturizing. The texture is fantastic! I am slowly transtioning from the summer glosses and shades to yes, fall. I chose Heirloom mainly because of the color. It is a berry/plum color which is right on target for fall, an even deeper shade that I love is Calla Lilly. Generally, you can’t go wrong with these. Try them out, Cheers!

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Words

12 Aug

2013-07-09 01.53.39-1

Hi Again! Last week I spent the week away training with other new people for my new job. It’s always a great time meeting new people, hearing about their backgrounds and what they’ve been through to get them where they are today. What I find interesting is that usually, what you see and assume about a person is different than what’s inside. Very cool. Anyhow, there were 6 of us for the week, mostly in the same position but from different parts of the country. Since we spent so much time together we really got to know each other, which made training much more fun. On the way home my flight was delayed a couple hours so I ended up talking to a young woman from Ethiopia for a while. She didn’t share too much except that she has only been living here a couple years and had three jobs in between going to college. We spoke of different challenges we both are facing in our lives and I was amazed at both her calm and grateful spririt. You know it’s good when you walk away from someone feeling a little uplifted and still smiling.

On the airplane I sat next to a woman who was constantly writing letters on notecards. I finally broke down and asked her if she had a million penpals and she told me that once a month she likes to send out letters of encouragement to people she knows. About the same time the flight attendant asked if we wanted a drink and before she asked for anything she told the flight attendant how warm and beautiful his smile was. This flight was the last of the night, it was full, and it was delayed. This flight attendant’s face lit up and was so grateful for the compliment. He stood and spoke with us a few extra minutes and we both ended up with pretzels, peanuts, and cookies! She turned to me and said, ‘See? Just a little encouragement’. I have to admit it, I love it too. To be encouraged, smiled at, complimented, we all need it, right?

So, from the people I met in training, to the girl from Ethiopia, then the lady in seat 5A, words and encouragement matter to everyone, don’t forget. “Yelling at living things does tend to kill the spirit in them. Sticks and stones may break our bones, but words will break our hearts…”
― Robert Fulghum

Today I wear Nars lipstick in Shanghai Express. These lipsticks are great. The semi-matte formulas are creamy but with staying power. I chose this color because it’s brick red…yes, i’m feeling the red again. Cheers!

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Change

31 Jul

fall clouds

Boy, I’m really slacking on writing this blog, sorry. Tomorrow is August 1 and the summer is breezing by like a tornado. Since coming back from our long vacation, life has been a bit challenging, still healthy thank goodness, but lots going on. One of the current changes is, I once again have a new job! I know, it seems like my job turns over more times than Taylor Swift’s boyfriends, but my industry is shrinking and in constant flux so I am just hanging on until the end. My last company was starting to feel the pinch and since I’ve heard the down-size and lay off language before, I knew to start looking. Fortunately at the same time a manager from one of my previous companies contacted me with an opening and it was actually for a job back in the space I love. God’s timing is awesome. Anyhow, back in transition and testing and stress, but worth it.

Change can be scary but often times it is necessary. Next year for the first time, all my kids will be in different schools; one in high school, one in middle school, and one still in elementary…wow, that should be fun. As they get older all I can do is pray that they make good decisions, follow their dreams, and not lose their voice in the crowd. I look back and can honestly say, because I was kinda geeky and quiet, a total introvert and a people pleaser on top of that, sometimes I lost my voice (figuratively). I tried so hard to fit in that I agreed with things and did things hoping it would make me more liked or more popular. My opinion or feelings about something didn’t matter as long as others thought I was right there with them. It is so easy to lose your voice when you are counting on others to like you. Guess what? There will always be people that don’t like you, don’t agree with you, and don’t really care, however hard you try. This is a message I try to tell my kids during this great time of peer pressure. But it doesn’t stop after high school, or college does it? We do it as adults too eventually losing ourselves to try to please others. Cancer has taught me that life is short and losing my voice (literally) has made me want to step out of my shell and use it more! It’s easy to get caught up in getting validation from other people, but your voice is already beautiful. Don’t lose it along the way.

Today I wear Chanel Glossimer lipgloss in Giggle. These glosses are so easy to wear, and this one’s a pinky brown color; I own a few different ones. They all add just a hint of color.They are not thick and don’t feel sticky. I chose Giggle because I love to laugh, something that I need more of right now. It’ll come…Cheers!

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