Tag Archives: family

Like Father, Like Daughter

17 Jun

Me and my dad

People have always asked me where I got my love for music and my musical ability.  Although I have many musically inclined relatives, I have to say that most of my passion for music came from my dad.  Growing up, we had the turntable stereo with the 4 ft. speakers on each side in our family room.  At least a few times a week my dad would blast a symphony playing classical music and pretend to be the conductor.  I would watch in awe as he conducted Beethoven, Tchaikovsky, and even John Philip Sousa.  He would also continually play singers like Nat King Cole, Johnny Mathis, Tony Bennett and sing along with them.  My dad was and is always singing; sometimes instead of replying to a question with words, he replies with a tune.  I learned later on that he played the trombone in the college marching band and was also in a band playing the harmonica.

My dad and I are a lot a like.  We are both quiet and laid back and sometimes have difficulty expressing our feelings; I think that’s where the music comes in.  When we find it hard to express ourselves, there’s music that can do it for us.  My dad was stern and strict growing up and I’ve only seen him tear up a few times.  Every Christmas, he would play Filipino carols and tear up because of the family and friends he missed in the Philippines.  That’s what I mean, emotion through music.  Now for me, music runs deep, it affects my heart and I can literally feel each note and word of a song.  I thank my dad for this love and expression.  He has taught me many things and even though he’s a man of few words I understand him.

Happy Father’s Day Dad, I Love You!

For Dad’s day I wear Estee Lauder Pure Color Gloss in Rock Candy.  It’s a gorgeous soft baby pink lipgloss with diamond shimmer throughout, great for any skintone!  I wear it because the pink reminds me of my childhood and the bling reminds me of the musical showman my dad truly is!

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Lost and Found

12 Jun

There are certain things I have lost and that I miss because of my cancer and all the complications associated with it.  I miss running, dancing, swimming, and even riding a bike with my kids without having any breathing difficulty.  I miss some of my taste buds, so now, something has to be very sweet, very spicy, or very sour for me to taste.  I miss being warm on a warm day because my thyroid is no longer there to help control my internal temperature.  I miss having a sore throat and not having to wonder if the cancer is back once again.  I miss coughing without having people try to stay away from me because it’s so loud and uncontrolled or having my kids worry about me from the sound of the cough.  I miss being able to talk all day and sing whatever I want with ease all night and still have a voice with no sore throat.  I miss sleeping on my left side because I am a side sleeper, but now when I sleep on my left I choke and cough because of all the scar tissue on that side.  I miss my right vocal chord which if it were still functioning, I could talk better, sing better, and breathe better.

On the other hand, I have found many beautiful things.  I have found a deeper understanding of me and the world around me.  I have found a new love for people, their histories, and their stories.  I have found people that truly care and deeper friendships.  I have found a greater appreciation of time and a greater passion for life and every moment.  I have found a deeper faith in God and inner strength I never even knew I had.  I have found a new and strong voice in my writing.  In the end, I have found courage.

So no, cancer did not take away from me, it gave my heart more life.  For this I wear Christian Dior #773, Rouge Podium.  It’s a color that’s hard to describe…pink/orange/red?  It’s not as bright as it sounds.  It’s the first lipstick my husband has ever complimented me on (and he hates bright lipstick).  He says it brightens up my face and reminds him of a summer day.  That’s why I wear it, for sunnier days ahead!

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I Love Birthdays

31 May

Survivor Lap

Last weekend I was able to walk and sing at my first Relay For Life event and it was an amazing experience.  The survivors were given purple shirts which read ‘Celebrate, Remember, Fight Back.’  What a great mantra because that is what we were all there to do.  There were so many survivors, all different ages, colors, genders, cancer knows no bounds. During my trip around the track in the Survivor Lap, I was overwhelmed with joy at the fact that my fight is currently over and I have won.  I couldn’t keep a smile off my face.  At one point my mom (who walked the lap with me along with my family) turned around and said, ‘I want to cry’.  I was walking with fighters; people given no choice but to stand up and fight for their lives.  We are told we are strong when in fact, we rise up and do what we need to do.  The sign that impacted me the most in that lap was one that read ‘I love birthdays.’  I was overcome with emotion and just couldn’t stop the tears. The thing is, is that I have always loved birthdays.  As a child, even though I didn’t have many birthday parties, my parents made me feel like the most important person on that day.  It was a celebration of me.  After cancer, birthdays are all the more important.  The first surgeon said my diagnosis was poor and wasn’t sure how much time I had left, and with the cancer continually coming back I wasn’t so sure myself.  Every birthday since that diagnosis has been a milestone for me.  I tear up every year at the significance of a birthday.  It has also been a time to reflect on the past year and its events.  After the survivor lap I was asked to sing which was overwhelming.  I made it through ‘Over the Rainbow’ and as the crowd of survivors, walkers, and supporters, all people touched by cancer, applauded, I wept.  I was told I would never sing again and here I was.

Me and Audrey (with her red painted hair)

Me and Audrey (with her red painted hair)

 

singing

singing

Something fun that I did this week was to go on my second lipstick consultation trip.  I shopped with a friend to help her find her perfect shade for this season.  It turned out to be a new Armani long wear lipgloss in Plum.  It’s a light plum gloss with great consistency and not too much shimmer…I bought one too!  That will be my color this week…light plum; highlighting your natural self and adding a little bling, enough said!

I love birthdays!

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