Tag Archives: lipstick

Now

16 Apr

This week’s word for my blogging group GBE2 is ‘now’. So I am going to write everything that happens to be going through my mind right now. I have a really good friend going through a divorce and I’m so sad for them and their family. It happens to be a family we’re close to and have even vacationed with and we are stunned to say the least. I’m sad because another good friend found out last week that her husband has cancer. Like us, they have three kids and I know first hand how hearing the word cancer affects not only you, but the whole family. I’m sitting here wondering why the world seems like it’s upside down and crazy. I’m wondering if I am in the job that I’m going to be in for the rest of my life. It’s not horrible, but is that it? After 21 years, I guess it is, but it makes me a little sad because after cancer I feel there is so much more. I’m wondering what activities the kids have this week, what time, and who’s driving. I’m wondering if I have to cook dinner again tomorrow or if we have enough leftovers from tonight.  I’m wondering if I really want to exercise tonight even though I know that if I don’t do it, I’ll lose my stride and it will be an uphill battle to start up again. I’m wondering when the wind will die down. I’m wondering if my difficulty breathing is due to the extreme changes in weather and my allergies or if it’s something else. I’m wondering what my day with my boss is going to be like tomorrow. I’m wondering how many inches I should cut off my hair on Thursday.

Ok, that’s all. my mind is obviously wound up and filled with emotion, sorry for the rambling. I guess I should go to the gym. Right now I am wearing Dior Addict Lip Glow (yes, another Dior). It is by far one of my most favorite lip products. It feels like a balm and brings out the natural pink color of your lips and yes, it actually adds color to your lips based on your chemistry, temperature…who knows, who cares, it’s awesome!

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Home

14 Apr

This summer I will be celebrating my 20th wedding anniversary. I actually got married young by today’s standards, one year after graduating college (he graduated ahead of me). For the first few years of marriage, we were commuters. I had an apartment in Indiana where I was placed for my first job, and he was in Chicago for medical school. People have asked why we didn’t just wait until he was done instead of only seeing each other on weekends for the first few years. Well, we were young and in love and that’s well, what else is there to say? Anyhow, it was a honeymoon every weekend and we did wait 6 years to have our first child. Since the beginning of our marriage we have had 10 different addresses in three states (I am also counting the two addresses he had while in school since I would visit and it would be our home for the weekend). 3 of the homes we had built from the bottom up, 1 of the homes was a ‘spec’ home which means it was half done, we chose the rest, 1 was a builders model home, and today’s house was an older home that we have put blood, sweat, and tears into in re-doing each room, one by one. Our first child had gone to three different schools by the time he was in second grade and my other two experienced the stress of remodeling our current house while also dealing with my cancer. It has been quite the ride and today, we have had the same address for 7 years, the longest we have stayed anywhere. Sometimes I am jealous of some of my friends who got married and put roots down somewhere and never moved but I don’t think I would change things, it’s what I know.

This week my cousins and aunt are visiting from California and the Philippines. I haven’t seen my cousin from the Philippines in almost 30 years (I think we look the same, like no time has passed). It reminded me of the journey my parents took 40 years ago leaving friends and family with a 3 year old (me) to start a better life for the generations to come. It was a huge move away from all they knew, from their home. What is a home? You’ve heard the cliche’ “Home is where the heart is”. For me that’s true. If I were Dorothy in Oz and clicked those red shoes three times, they would bring me to my home; not defined by a city, state, or address, but solely defined by where my family happens to be. The upside from all the moves is that I don’t get attached to things (even though I don’t think I really ever have). I don’t get attached to homes, or stuff for that matter. The slight downside is that it has become harder for me to get attached to people because in the back of my mind I’m thinking about our next move. The invention of Facebook of course has changed that dramatically because I can now reconnect and stay in touch with all the people in my life past and present and I’m thankful. Through the moves I have met some incredible people and lifelong friends. When cancer came I cannot think of one person past or present that did not reach out to me. I reiterate this, sometimes we just have a moment to impact someone in either a positive or negative way…make it count.

Today I wear Dior Addict lipstick In New York. I love Dior lipsticks and this is a pinky brown which is quite easy to wear with anything. New York is the place I thought I would be living (because of my Broadway dreams) but have only gone to visit. Life takes us along many different paths and I never look back. Home IS where the heart is.

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Random

10 Apr

Do you ever get that feeling that time is just slipping away and you haven’t done anything significant? For the past few weeks this has been me. Working, eating, sleeping, just normal day to day stuff. Last week I had to go back to my corporate office for some advanced training. Although some of the material was good and seeing old friends was awesome, my kids were on Spring Break and I hated being away. One major thing the past few years with cancer has taught me is that time is so precious. It’s hard to wrap my head around this new normal for me and it’s hard expressing it into words. All I know is that I cry more easily and that I feel more deeply. I also value each moment and have a burning in my chest to do something significant. Not really for me, but for others. I want people to see life as beautiful and to live passionately because my heart is bursting. I’m sick of all the facades and the unspoken words…tick tock tick tock…time is just flying by and we can’t go back. I really am having difficulty expressing myself aren’t I?

Let’s put it this way, our life is like a book, each day, each season, is a new chapter…would you keep reading it? If you were a sitcom or a movie, would you keep watching? No, its not always an adventure, we do have the day to day mundane, but there are people we run into in our day and investing in their story can be a small adventure. Oh well, I’m rambling now. Do you think all survivors feel like this? I guess because I’ve been through a lot and know for certain there will be an end to this life (maybe sooner than later), I want to make mine count. Last week at our training we were given personality evaluations based on a questionnaire we had to fill out. One of the concluding statements given to me was, ‘she lives in the present, she tries to live each moment as a satisfying personal experience’.  Yup….

Today I wear Nars Velvet Matte Lip Pencil in Dragon Girl which is a siren red. I have to say, like any matte lipstick, it’s a little dry but if you pat it into your lips with your finger and apply lip balm or a gloss on top, it’s fine. Obviously this color is bright red….HOT. I chose it because I have a burning passion to live life.

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Coffee Anyone?

28 Mar

This morning I met a friend for coffee. She is going through a difficult time (it seems like it’s going around) and I wanted to just spend a little time with her to listen. For 20 minutes I listened to her stories, we laughed a little, and cried a lot. She was able to share her feelings, her questions about what was going on, and also share her frustrations; and although I did not have answers for her and I’m very careful about giving out advice, I was there. How long does it take you to enjoy one cup of coffee? By the end of our one cup of coffee, we had deepened our friendship, even if it was deepened only a fragment.

I admit it, I am not that great of a friend. I am a natural introvert (which is why I have a lifetime of journals, literally since I was 8 years old). I know it’s surprising to even some of my closest friends to hear because I am in sales and I have been a performer all my life. I went to a leadership seminar once and took one of those personality tests and I was told that I am an introvert but a forced extrovert…a 5 on a scale from 1 being total introvert to 10 being total extrovert.  Whatever. All I know is that I don’t enjoy talking on the phone that much so I believe texting was actually invented for me. Since I am forced to talk and socialize all day for my job, as an introvert, I actually have to recharge myself at different times of the day, and in order to do that, I have always read, played the piano, or listened to music…no talking…alone. If I don’t get that time in the day I feel stressed.

Relationships though, take time. Talking, face to face, or on the phone. Since cancer, I have learned many things and have chosen to live a little differently. For one thing, I have chosen to invest more into people. We live in an incredibly fast paced society and our communication (as much as I love texting) has become impersonal. People have become less friendly and more protective of themselves. I get it, life is hard, the economy stinks, the stories you hear on the news get worse and worse. One thing I did learn is that in the end, we need each other. When I couldn’t speak, people would sit with me and speak to me, tell me stories of their day and just tell me stuff, I loved it. I love to listen and hear people’s stories because it gives you a glimpse into the experiences that have molded them, it also gives you a glimpse into their heart. I read a quote that said, “Our life is a storybook we write for ourselves; wonderfully illustrated by the people we meet.”(unkown author)

My commitment is to have a cup of coffee at least once a week with a friend, old or new, just to listen or to deepen a relationship. It is my challenge to you. It doesn’t take that long and yet relationship with others is what we yearn for. I may or may not share a story or two, but it could get interesting. Make yourself available, 20 minutes is not that long.

Today’s lipstick is Revlon Coffee Bean (I coudn’t resist). It is a shimmery light brown color which actually looks great on tan skin in the summer. I have worn this lipstick off and on for at least the last 15 years. Revlon lipsticks go on smooth and are moisturizing, I like them. My only problem is that you can’t try them on so I have made too many mistakes to guess which is right for me. Coffee anyone?

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Extreme

26 Mar

The past week or so has been one of those crazy weeks filled with extreme emotion. It’s Sunday night, I’m exhausted and tomorrow starts a new week. About a week ago, I met with a good friend from college for a lipstick and lunch date…now how can you go wrong with lipstick and food? It was great catching up with her while trying on lipstick followed by lunch! Extreme fun! A few days later, I got a call from one of my closest friends telling me she and her husband were getting divorced. This was devastating news to both my husband and myself because they are close ‘couple’ friends. You know, it’s hard to find a couple you both like to hang with. It was a complete shock and so sad, even she was surprised; he just decided to up and leave her and their two kids. Extreme low. Friday I sang at my doctor’s annual World Voice Day Celebration. This was my fourth year attending and singing and every year has been different. The first year was after my first surgery and my voice was decent, the second, was after my third surgery and radiation and my vocal cords were paralyzed. Last year, I was still recovering, and this year, well, I am cancer free. My voice has changed quite a bit (obviously), and singing with one vocal cord is such a thought process, but it was overwhelming and awesome. As I stepped out on the stage I was overcome with emotion because it has been such a long road and not only did it feel like a miracle being there singing, but my ‘voice team’ who took care of me from the beginning was there right along side of me cheering me on. I picked a difficult song and it wasn’t the best I’ve ever sounded, but I was there. Extreme high. Saturday night, I was at a ‘girl’ party with one of my best high school friends whom I reconnected with a couple years ago as I was going through cancer the third time. It’s incredible how true friendship works, we don’t see each other for 20 years and we talk like not a day has gone by. Anyhow, it was a fun party with just a handful of women. Extreme joy and laughter. Today…extreme exhaustion.

Each day was different, each day holds a memory, each day involved relationships. So now, as today ends, we have tomorrow. Life is crazy and fun and sad and filled with so many tidbits in a day. Don’t miss the moments. Take in every emotion, as much as your heart breaks, it gets recharged with love and joy. Love people, they need you as much as you need them and be open to whatever may come next!

Today I wear Bobbi Brown High Shimmer Lip Gloss in Electric Violet, A pinkish, violet shimmery lip gloss. Gorgeous color for spring and summer. This is a newer formulation for Bobbi and it combines vitamins to help moisturize your lips and is not sticky. The colors are still sheer so you can wear it over lipstick if you choose, but they do add a good amount of color on their own.  I chose it because life can be electric if you let it! Enjoy!

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Lipstick List

22 Mar

For today I thought I’d depart from my usual ‘life’ topics and talk solely about lipstick. For the men who read my blog, sorry, you may exit now, unless of course you like lipstick.  To go along with this weeks topic of my wonderful blogging group GBE2, I thought I’d write a list of some of my favorites, not only lipstick, but cosmetics in general because I love other products as well (although not as much as lipstick).

I hope the picture above does not scare you, but that is my current lipstick selection from my bathroom. It is ever revolving and I hate throwing them out so some lipsticks may be a year or two old. I also have to say that every few months or so I have a ‘giveaway’ to my girlfriends and mom where they can choose any lipstick they want from my collection.
So, as you can see, my favorites are up front (down at the bottom);  I have multiple colors  and formulations from YSL, Chanel, Bobbi Brown, and Dior.

Here is a list of my favorite colors:

Bobbi Brown– Great colors, long lasting, moisturizing: Raisin, Burnt Red, and sometimes Papaya

Chanel– Not as moisturizing for me as Bobbi, but great variety of reds: Fatale-red

Dior– Not as long lasting, but moisturizing and feels great on lips: 773 Rouge Podium (a great orangey-pinky-red), 714 Brun (shimmery brown pink), 811 Red (no longer available), Also love Dior Addict Lip Glow which is like a lip balm but brings out the natural pink in your lips.

YSL I love the golden glosses! They add a lot of color for a gloss, are moisturizing, have actual gold flecks, and look AMAZING! #2 is my favorite!!

Here is a list of some of my other ‘must haves’:

Cetaphil cleanser and moisturizer

Smashbox Oil Free primer

Armani Luminous Silk foundation or Bare Minerals Matte Powder

Chanel waterproof eyeliner

Benefit They’re Real mascara, Dior New Look Mascara or L’oreal Voluminous Million Lashes Mascara

Last but not least, my favorite lip balms:

Carmex (in stick form), Eos sweet mint, and Aqauphor (which by the way is great for things such as dry elbows, knees, around the eyes, etc…anything dry, this is a great moisturizer)

Have a great day! Today, I let you pick the lipstick color…what are your faves? I’d love to know!

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Trials

14 Mar

This morning I spoke to a friend of mine who has been struggling with some major family issues for awhile. As she told me everything she was going through my heart hurt for her and her trials brought me to tears. She said she didn’t want to burden me with her stuff because of everything I was going through with my cancer tests. Why does God allow pain? This is the question many people struggle with and I certainly have no answers. I know for me, during all of the trials and tribulations of my repeated cancer diagnosis and treatments, I would not have been able to stay calm and at peace without having faith that God had a perfect plan and that I was not in control. People always asked how I could maintain my faith throughout everything and all I have to say is that I could not have ‘maintained’ without it.

I believe trials in life (and everyone I know has been through at least one) can either harden your heart or soften it. For me, my heart is softer, and listening to my friend’s hurt made me feel her pain. We go through trials to be able to help others, so we need to open our eyes to see and our hearts to listen and feel because no matter how hard we think we have it, someone is doing worst and needs you. Be there. Life is about people, what will our legacy be?

Today’s lipstick is Lancôme L’absolu Rouge in Berry Noir. It’s a beautiful berry color which would be great for spring and summer and this particular formula has great consistency, lots of color, and is moisturizing too. I wear it because spring is a time of new beginnings, and when life throws you a detour it’s great to get a fresh start.

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Reunion

10 Mar

This past week I was in Nashville for my National Meeting. Besides the actual meeting part, it was great seeing people from across the country that I haven’t seen since last June. Remember, last June was an emotional time for me because I had just gotten the news that my doctor thought my cancer was back. These were my new friends who carried me through a crazy time during three weeks of training for a new job. Anyhow, it was a happy reunion because of my recent ‘non’ cancer diagnosis. It has taken a couple weeks for the cancer free news to soak in. My immediate reaction was joy of course followed by doubt ( I’m pretty sure that’s normal), but for the first time since the news, I feel great about it. I think the more I talk about it and the more I tell people I am now cancer free, the more I believe it and become confident. I think that may be true for all people in different circumstances. If you can talk abut it, there are people out there willing to listen and help, and maybe just to give you a hug; and sometimes, we just need to hear ourselves outloud to believe what we say in our heads. I will be singing in a couple weeks and I’m deathly nervous but I’m challenging myself. If we don’t try, we don’t know.

Funny mom story from the week away because I think moms always wonder how dads do with kids while we’re gone. I got a text from my youngest boy who’s 9 saying dad’s not doing that good of a job because he let the dog sleep with him, so he asked if I would do the laundry when I got home. Later in the day I spoke to my husband and he tells me my 9 year old got out of the shower, got ready for bed, then told my husband he shaved his mustache. “What?” “Yup, I used Audrey’s razor and her shaving cream called Satan” Yes, he said Satan, Audrey’s shaving cream is called Satin Gel….

This week I was a little stressed because of all the meeting prep, plus a presentation to give. Consequently I developed a cold sore so my lipstick of the week was limited to Carmex and Abreva although near the end of the week I finally was able to switch to Buxom Big andHealthy Lip Cream in Purple Haze. That’s what it felt like all week with 2000 people in the giant Opryland Hotel…a haze. This lip gloss is awesome. For me it was a slight deep berry color which is just a hint deeper than my lipcolor. I love the consistency of this particular gloss and it is free of parabens and sulfates. It also gives a little tingle when applied to lips!

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As Simple As A Breath

27 Feb

 

I took a yoga class the other day and the instructor opened with “Take a deep breath and breathe in the simplicity of life. Each breath is a new start, breathing lets  you know you’re alive.” OK, call me hormonal but I laughed at first because life seems anything but simple, but then I got all emotional thinking about breathing. In my cancer journey, more than anything I was told I was going to lose (besides my life, of course), breathing on my own was the one I was most scared to be without. I’ve talked about my singing and speaking, but as much as I would miss my voice, I knew that those were simple compromises. After my first surgery which paralyzed one of my vocal cords, I was in the ICU for a few days to make sure I would be able to breathe on my own. The fear was that the other vocal cord would snap and close off my breathing tube (trachea) and I would need an emergency tracheotomy (tube in my neck). Fortunately, that didn’t happen. Each time cancer came back, the threat to my voice and breathing was much worse. The last surgery was the most difficult because the threat was imminent considering the cancer was invading the area around my remaining vocal cord along with my trachea. Despite hours of careful surgery and multiple radiation treatments aimed at my neck, I am still speaking, singing, and breathing on my own.

In fact, my breathing and the scar on my neck are my special reminders that I fought cancer and won. Breathing is still difficult for me sometimes. I can’t ‘run like the wind’ or do too much aerobic exercise because my vocal cords sit very close together and I simply can’t get much air in. If I talk too much too fast (which I’m known to do), I run out of air quickly and have to stop and take deep breaths. If I have allergies or get sick and cough too much or even yell too much at my kids’ sporting events, my vocal cords swell up and it gets a little difficult to breathe (nothing a little steroids can’t help). Essentially for me, breathing is a miracle and the simple act of taking a breath has become a reminder that I’m alive.

Is life that simple? Probably. I think we are the ones that complicate things a bit.  But she was right, breathing does let us know we’re alive and each breath we take is a new beginning with new possibilities. Take a minute and take a deep breath, imagine your life without it, there is no life without it. Thank God for today and the air you breathe.

Today I wear Nars Lipstick in Fire Down Below, a matte blood red. Yes, I know, the name….I do love Nars lipsticks because their colors are long lasting and creamy and of course this one’s red and you know how I feel about red lips…I’M ALIVE!! Wear it like you mean it!

 

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Vacation

25 Feb

Audrey's Rainbow

This week my family spent the week on vacation in the Dominican Republic. We started our vacation last Saturday in the wee hours of the morning literally running to our airplane because we waited 10 minutes for the parking shuttle, then the lines were outrageous, then of course after security, we found out our terminal was at the very end of the airport. Thankfully the direct flight went without a hitch. Upon our arrival, we were greeted with beautiful weather and friendly people, what we weren’t expecting was the mass confusion and chaos at their very small airport. Our flight arrived almost an hour early, exactly the same time 4 other flights arrived leading thousands of people pushing and shoving their way to three customs agents. After two and a half hours, we finally hopped on a bus to our hotel which was filled to capacity. So much so, they overbooked the family suites and separated my husband and I from the kids by four rooms plus an elevator hallway. No, I didn’t sleep that night and immediately requested a change the next day. Fortunately, many were checking out leaving us two adjoining rooms…all was well. We spent all day at the beach and in the pool and at the end of our first full day, my husband came down with a severe sinus infection leaving him stuck in the room the next day and a half with fever and chills. The rest of the time went well, besides the one incident with my son eating something with nuts (he’s allergic), and my other son having to be pulled in as he drifted out to sea by a strong riptide, oh, and at night the mosquito hunts in our rooms….our time overall was awesome. We spent time as a family in beautiful 80 degree weather, body surfing the waves, and relaxing in the pool. All of the ‘minor’ incidents on this vacation will be funny memories.

Pretending to be a Rockstar

Isn’t that true of life in general? We all sit around waiting for the ‘big’ stuff to happen; getting to the hotel for the vacation to finally start, the dream job, the big break, the lottery win, etc, but truly it’s all the little or ‘minor’ things that make a life. In fact, sometimes when we look back, the things we thought were little were actually the big things we missed while waiting. Our vacation started Friday night after school and work, not Saturday night when we finally got to the hotel. Don’t miss out, don’t dwell on the little stumbling blocks or mishaps, it could ruin your vacation, or day, or life. Soak up life and laugh about it, it’s funny sometimes!

Today I wear Korres Lip Butter in Plum. It’s kind of a sheer berry which would look great on anyone. Korres is an all natural brand which is a plus and this particular lip butter is super moisturizing with just enough color. I would say that it was the only lipstick I brought with me, but you all know me better than that; but, it is the only thing I wore, the others just took up space!

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