Tag Archives: lipgloss

Vacation

25 Feb

Audrey's Rainbow

This week my family spent the week on vacation in the Dominican Republic. We started our vacation last Saturday in the wee hours of the morning literally running to our airplane because we waited 10 minutes for the parking shuttle, then the lines were outrageous, then of course after security, we found out our terminal was at the very end of the airport. Thankfully the direct flight went without a hitch. Upon our arrival, we were greeted with beautiful weather and friendly people, what we weren’t expecting was the mass confusion and chaos at their very small airport. Our flight arrived almost an hour early, exactly the same time 4 other flights arrived leading thousands of people pushing and shoving their way to three customs agents. After two and a half hours, we finally hopped on a bus to our hotel which was filled to capacity. So much so, they overbooked the family suites and separated my husband and I from the kids by four rooms plus an elevator hallway. No, I didn’t sleep that night and immediately requested a change the next day. Fortunately, many were checking out leaving us two adjoining rooms…all was well. We spent all day at the beach and in the pool and at the end of our first full day, my husband came down with a severe sinus infection leaving him stuck in the room the next day and a half with fever and chills. The rest of the time went well, besides the one incident with my son eating something with nuts (he’s allergic), and my other son having to be pulled in as he drifted out to sea by a strong riptide, oh, and at night the mosquito hunts in our rooms….our time overall was awesome. We spent time as a family in beautiful 80 degree weather, body surfing the waves, and relaxing in the pool. All of the ‘minor’ incidents on this vacation will be funny memories.

Pretending to be a Rockstar

Isn’t that true of life in general? We all sit around waiting for the ‘big’ stuff to happen; getting to the hotel for the vacation to finally start, the dream job, the big break, the lottery win, etc, but truly it’s all the little or ‘minor’ things that make a life. In fact, sometimes when we look back, the things we thought were little were actually the big things we missed while waiting. Our vacation started Friday night after school and work, not Saturday night when we finally got to the hotel. Don’t miss out, don’t dwell on the little stumbling blocks or mishaps, it could ruin your vacation, or day, or life. Soak up life and laugh about it, it’s funny sometimes!

Today I wear Korres Lip Butter in Plum. It’s kind of a sheer berry which would look great on anyone. Korres is an all natural brand which is a plus and this particular lip butter is super moisturizing with just enough color. I would say that it was the only lipstick I brought with me, but you all know me better than that; but, it is the only thing I wore, the others just took up space!

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Waiting

7 Feb

It’s been an emotional week for me so far. Superbowl Sunday brought a mix of emotions because it was four years ago when the Giants played the Patriots in the Superbowl. How do I know that you may ask, well, four years ago is when this cancer journey began. I remember finding out I had cancer in the beginning of January and scheduling my surgery as soon as possible, January 31, 2008. I remember that year, my husband’s fantasy football quarterback was Tom Brady. I also remember the argument we had two weeks before the Superbowl because one of his good friends called and said he had an extra ticket for the game and was asking my husband to go. Yes, of course he wanted to go, but I reminded him that my surgery was the same weekend. Hubby says, ‘once in a lifetime’, I reply, yes, hopefully for me too (I was a little upset he was even thinking about going). Well, he didn’t go and the Giants won then too. Superbowl Sunday 2008 I was in a hospital room. Just the day before, my doctor told me my singing was over and my prognosis was bad because my nerve was cut leaving my vocal cord paralyzed and the cancer was everywhere. Lots to think about.

This year, again, Giants vs Patriots, Giants win…deja vu. Today, I’m waiting. I have had very few clean scans and tests since then and now I am waiting for the results of the latest test. It’s an experimental blood test which my doctor says may be able to detect cancer instead of another PET scan for me (I’m maxed out on radiation, so the less I get the better). Unfortunately since it’s not a test usually done, the results take a little longer (he told me 2-3 weeks). I have been patiently waiting now for 2 and a half weeks but my patience is wearing thin. Sometimes I feel as if the past few years have been a waiting game; waiting for treatment, waiting for the next test, waiting for the results. Crazy, upsetting, unsettling, depressing, you name it. The bottom line is this, I am not in control of the situation. I have to release my fears and anxieties and just live…a message I have to tell myself DAILY, EVERY MINUTE. It’s hard, but we have to live right? Live your life

Worry does not empty tomorrow of its sorrow. It empties today of its strength.- Corrie Ten Boom

Today I wear Revlon Colorburst Lip Butter in Red Velvet (no link, you can get it at the drugstore). It’s amazingly moisturizing and has lots of color. RED-LIVE LIFE NOW

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Just Say It…

27 Jan

A few days ago my husband got an e-mail from a friend regarding an acquaintance of theirs. This person was a healthy 36 year old former college and pro basketball player who was also a newlywed of 6 months. About three weeks ago he wentto the hospital for an elective, outpatient surgery…just something simple, or so he thought. A few days later a fever ensued and he was admitted into the hospital. For the past three weeks he fought a massive infection overtaking his healthy body and a few days ago, he passed away. He fought for his life with his new bride at his side and three days before he passed, the physicians told him there was nothing left to do. What made this story more incredible was that he was given just an unknown number of days to live after the doctors stopped treatment. He and his wife decided to make phone calls to family and friends; the people he wanted to say good bye to. It was gutwrenching and as his wife put it in the e-mail update we received, ‘he was able to speak to those he was closest to and when I finally let go of his hand he was able to cross the gates to Heaven’.

Most of us are not given our ‘death date’ or even an estimate of when our last day of life may be. After so many bouts with cancer, it’s on my mind and may be sooner than later, but I don’t even truly know for sure. This man was given the chance to say good-bye, to make peace with people, to ask forgiveness from some, or whatever he needed to speak to them about, he got the chance.  We don’t know when our time may be, why wait to tell people how much we love them? Why wait for the ‘right moment’ to say you care or how much people mean to you? Why harbor resentment which gnaws at you…why not forgive today and free yourself from the burden of bitterness? Most of us will not be given a few days at the end to make phone calls and say good-bye. What are you waiting for? Say what you need to say (great song)…

Today I wear Bobbi Brown Rich Color Gloss in Angel Pink, a beautiful soft pink which can be worn alone. I also dedicate this to the new saint who was brought up to heaven this week!

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History

9 Jan

 

 

Recently Facebook added a feature called Timeline. I haven’t really checked into it but for those who have changed over, it looks really cool.  I wish I was more computer savvy because I don’t even know how to turn my profile into the ‘timeline’ (among other things), but the feature basically chronicles in order your pictures and posts for I don’t know how far back (maybe you all can help me with this). I’ve heard some comments from some of my friends saying they did not like this feature because they were forced to look at old pictures and older comments which some have regretted putting out there. Facebook made our days public and now it’s in chronological order for all to see. Are there things in your past you wish you could take back or change? I read a quote which said, “People are trapped in history, and history is trapped in them.” ~James Baldwin, Notes of a Native Son.

If you’ve read my book or my blog (well, obviously you’re here), you know that I love hearing people’s stories. We are all shaped by people, events, and decisions from our past. The quote I mentioned says that people are trapped in history, well, to some extent we are. I decided to pursue science over music and here I am, trapped? Not really, just a different path. I have a friend who grew up in a home of alcoholics, his siblings are now both alcoholics, but him….no. He decided to change the pattern of history and create a new legacy for him and his family. The second part of the quote says that history is trapped in them. Absolutely, we are who we are because of where we came from. My cancer is part of my history, my story, but I will not let it trap me. We have the chance every day to learn lessons from our past, some things we controlled and some we did not (cancer). Everyone has a story but the hope is that we are not trapped in the story of our past. Move forward and create new moments to add to your history. As Natasha Bedingfield sings, “staring at the blank page before you…..the rest is still unwritten”

Today I wear Mally lipgloss in Life’s a Beach, a soft caramel with a hint of gold. It’s a beautiful color anyone can wear. This particular gloss is from her ‘Life, Love and A Really Great Gloss’ lipgloss collection…HOW CLEVER, also, life’s a beach…who can argue with that name?

 

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What Now?

26 Dec

I belong to a wonderful blogging community called GEB2. The administrator selects a topic and the members decide to write about that topic or not. This week’s topic is ‘free write.’ For 15 minutes we are supposed to write whatever comes to mind. This could be dangerous of course, but here goes.

This morning a friend of mine on Facebook posted ‘What Now?’ as her status. This morning I was thinking the exact same thing. It’s December 26th and for the past three months, we have been on a fast paced ride of stress and celebration. My mother-in-law who lives in Florida half the year decided she wanted to celebrate Christmas before leaving last November so we had our first Christmas celebration on October 29th. Yes, Christmas trees on tables as centerpieces, lights, presents, the works. Two days afterward I was still adding finishing touches to Halloween costumes as my kids walked out the door for their schools’ parties and trick or treating that night. Then of course, I hosted Thanksgiving, then my father-in-law had his Christmas on December 17, and finally, shopping, wrapping, and preparing for our Christmas. After Thanksgiving and as December rolled in, my husband and I were so tired it was like pulling teeth to put up the Christmas trees (we have two) along with the lights. So today, presents unwrapped, trash taken out, leftovers almost gone, and returns stacked…now what?

Saturday night we will ring in the New Year and I’m not ready…I’m still trying to catch up to 2011! Well, time never stops, and we can never go back. Recently I read an article by a fellow columnist in Dear Thyroid, Joanna Isbill. She is a young person living with cancer and her column was titled “Looking Back at Greiving Forward” referring to a past article called ‘Greiving Forward.’ What I loved about it was that the lesson applies to everyone, not only cancer fighters and survivors. At this time of year we all look back at where we’ve been and what we’ve done and we greive the things we wish we had accomplished or the relationships we lost. A new year brings us hope and aspirations to things we want to do or change as we move forward, greiving what was lost, grieiving the time that was wasted, but also taking our ‘new normal’ based on our experiences and moving forward. Deep, I know, but again, we can’t go back.

Anyway, my 15 minutes is up. Today I wear Bare Escentuals Pretty Amazing Lipcolor in Fearless. It’s a beautiful mauve color which is easy to wear and great for everyday. It’s also super moisturizing which is great for cold weather when our lips are all dry. And the name? That’s how I want to bring in the New Year…FEARLESS!

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Family Time

16 Dec

This weekend we are headed to my father-in-law’s annual family Christmas gathering. It is a time when my husband’s extended family on his dad’s side gathers for an afternoon of ‘catching up’ and enjoying each other’s company. This year marks the first year without the family matriarch ‘Grandma Lucille’. She died this past year at 92 years of age and many of us thought this gathering may no longer happen because she was gone.  A little background on me, my family immigrated to the US from the Philippines in 1972 and left my extended family behind. Every holiday growing up was mainly my parents, my brother, and myself. The whole idea of large family gatherings was foreign to me until I got married.

Anyhow back to this weekend. It always starts with hugs and laughter and the usual conversation about how the kids have grown, what we’re up to, etc, but after a full afternoon, little pods pop up and the comparing starts. We usually end up talking about other people and relatives, what they’ve done, what they should’ve done, and then there’s the little comments said under someone’s breath. Why do we do this to the people we supposedly care the most about in this world? We spend a whole lot of time trying to please other people, secretly hoping they think we’re awesome, but many of those same people  don’t really care about us at all. I know we all have different family dynamics and because we love them most, they can hurt us the most. Why not try to be the ‘light’ this year, be the peacemaker. I’m not saying fix anything, I’m simply saying stop yourself from the bad talk , bite your tongue, or simply walk away from it, maybe others will follow suit. Try excessive complimenting (that should really throw people off), or simply smile.

Family dynamics are funny. They know us, they’re like us, they know what buttons to push, but they are all people. Simply put, no one is perfect, we are all flawed. Our history and experiences mold us into who we are today; we may share the same history, but not the same experiences. If you get irritated, consider what they’ve been through, it will allow you to understand them better and love them more.

Today I’m back to my reds because it’s holiday season.  I LOVE Lancome L’Absolu Rouge lipstick in Merlot. It has the perfect texture and on me it is a deep bold red, perfect for evening (and daytime if I’m feeling daring). Here’s to you, I raise my glass of Merlot and toast! Enjoy!

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Why Stop?

11 Dec

I’ve been feeling kinda funky lately. A few weeks ago I had breakfast with my vocal coach Marie.  I hadn’t seen her in at least a year, in fact the last time we saw each other was 2 months after my last radiation treatment.  Sure, we kept up with email and Facebook, but this was our first face to face.  It was emotional because she was an integral part of recovering my singing voice after my first couple of surgeries. We were able to catch up on life and everything which had transpired. At the end of our meeting she asked when I would start voice lessons again.  Later the same week I had an appointment with my speech pathologist, again someone integral to my voice recovery. Dr Menaldi has always been there after each surgery helping me not only regain control of my breathing, but also strengthening the voice I was left with. At this particular appointment I told her I had seen Marie and she was excited that I would try to sing again. I told her I wasn’t sure that’s what I wanted and she said, “Of course that’s what you want, doesn’t singing still bring you joy?” Fast forward a few days later when I ran into a former music director. He asked how I was feeling and asked if I could still sing, I replied that I may be able to but am not sure I want to.  He asked the same thing, “Does it still bring you joy?” Most of you know that singing and music has always been a lifelong passion for me, it has always come easy and I have been fortunate to be able to sing at differnet venues throughout my life. When my nerve was cut during the first surgery leaving my vocal cord paralyzed, I grieved the singing, but it came back.  Cancer came back a second time and I grieved that part of me again, but my singing voice fought back. Cancer attacked yet a third time and it took a little more; not only the trauma from the surgeries, but also the massive doses of radiation have wreaked havoc on my voice and breathing. My voice has not been the same and yes I can still sing, but it requires so much thought, control and effort.  When I was told that there were cancer cells yet again last June, I gave up on the singing.  I was tired of grieving over my voice and trying to hang on to it, that I let it go. With these questions the past couple of weeks singing has been brought back to my mind…does it still bring me joy? Do I still want to try?

Tonight I went to my dad’s Christmas choir concert and watching him sing almost brought me to tears. I saw the excitement of the people singing together and just hearing the live music and watching the joy on my dad’s face just being a part, well, it was overwhelming. My dad is 70+ years old and here he was, still doing something he loved and was passionate about. I love music and I love to sing. I miss it and yes, it does bring me joy. I believe God gives us gifts and talents and passions and He gave me my music. I am tired of grieving over what I still currently have. Do we all do that? Give up before trying? Grieve over something or someone before it’s even gone? Is it fear of the unknown?

What are you passionate about? What lies in your heart that you are curious about and have not taken that step toward? What is holding you back?  My lesson was this again…life is short, too short to grieve what I still have. I miraculously still have my voice and my voice teacher and speech pathologist (along with my laryngologist, Dr Rubin) all tell me that there is nothing that can stop me from singing, so why did I stop trying? Despite a parlayzed vocal cord and some damage from radiation to the other, I can still sing and it’s a miracle. The only thing that was stopping me was me. Press on in your journey, don’t let yourself be the stumbling block.

Today I wear Smashbox True Color lipgloss in Fame. It is a beautiful rosy plum sheen with a lot of moisture (great for this time of year). I chose it not only for the color, but for the name. ‘Fame’ of course was one of the many shows I watched when I was younger that fed my love of music and the arts!

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Truth?

5 Dec

Last week my husband and I were out to lunch when I overheard the woman behind us tell her friend, “Yes, it’s breast cancer, but my doctor said it’s the best type and there will be no problems getting rid of it.”  I leaned into my husband and asked, “Should I tell her the truth? Should I tell her to get a second opinion from a more honest physician?”  He simply said that if she needs to hear that to have more hope, than it’s ok…is it?  When I started my cancer path everyone told me thyroid cancer was the best to have, easy fix. Obviously for me, it wasn’t and four years later, I still fight. After my first surgery, my surgeon was brutally honest about what he saw and what my prognosis was. For me, it was a hard blow, but I appreciated his honesty. I wanted to know EXACTLY what happened to prepare for what lied ahead.

Is it ok to only tell partial truth to avoid hurt or pain? Is there a difference between partial truth and partial lie or what we call a ‘white lie’ ? It’s such a gray area, of course a lie is a lie. I have three kids and my youngest who is nine wrote a letter to Santa yesterday as part of a project in his class for a local newspaper.  In the letter he said that some of the kids didn’t believe in Santa, but he still did. After I read it he looked at me and asked, “Santa’s real right? Those kids are crazy,” (That’s right, my older kids have kept the secret). Ahhh, to break his heart or to keep the magic alive, partial truth/partial lie? When my older two got to this question I always smiled and said, “If you don’t believe, you won’t receive,” which has stopped further questioning to this day. I thought about it,  and just said that of course Santa is real, but he might not be who or what you think. He represents joy and happiness to millions of kids around the world, he’s part of the magic of Christmas; and then I ended with the same thing I said to the other kids. That sufficed for now, I think he probably knows….

I believe honesty and truth will always set you free. In a time of universal deceit, telling the truth is a revolutionary act. –George Orwell

Today I wear Josie Maran lipgloss in Brilliance, a sheer shimmering light pink. I think I had a similar color last week, but I’m in the mood for gloss and shimmer. This gloss smells like caramel which is awesome and it’s all natural.  I also love the name…I hope that telling the truth adds some brilliance and shine to the personality!

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Bucket List

28 Nov

I have always been a dreamer.  When I was younger, I dreamed of being little orphan Annie on Broadway (kinda impossible because I’m Filipino).  Then, when Grease came out, I dreamed of being Sandy…again, impossible. In my mind I knew those were not the roles for me, but I never gave up on the dream of singing and dancing on a stage.  Thinking back, I never really had any other dreams or goals besides that.  Fortunately in my short 40+ years of life, I have been on many a stage.  I’ve been on television, radio, and I even got my chance to sing on a Broadway stage (not quite in a show…long story for another day).  When I received the call that my cancer had returned a few years back, I reassessed what my dreams and goals were.  I knew singing may be over for me (because of my paralyzed vocal cord and where my cancer was), but I sat and thought about the things I would want to do if I had nothing stopping me.  My list included writing a book, learning a new instrument, mastering a new language, running a marathon among other things.  As I looked at the list when I finished, I wondered what took me so long?  Learning a new instrument or langauge?  Just start. Training for a marathon, writing a book?  Just start.

Why does it take a slap on the face with your own mortality to sit and think about what things you want to do or accomplish in life?  Life is short and my list included some of the simplest things, nothing so grandiose that it could not be done. I haven’t checked everything off my list and there are things I can no longer do (like running a marathon because after cancer returned a third time, it took a toll on my breathing), but that’s ok.  My bucket list is forever revolving. It revolves around my health, my finances, and my family; it revolves around my kids and what I wish for them. Besides my selfish desires to get back in shape, travel to Europe, learn the guitar, etc, I also have the desire to be remembered and to leave a positive legacy for my kids. When I got the call that my cancer had returned a third time, I forgot about my list,  I don’t even know where it is anymore because I don’t need it. I know for a fact life can change in a second, with one phone call. Life is an adventure to be lived daily. Dreams, goals, bucket list, resolutions…whatever it is, what’s stopping you?  When I think of something I want to do now, I start on that path, sometimes I get there, sometimes not. Think, start, live!

Today I wear Stila Lip Glaze in Kaleidoscope a sparkly pink (which is part of a limited edition holiday set). Soft enough to wear on top of lipstick to add a hint of pink, I chose it because when you look in a Kaleidoscope, the shapes are everchanging, but still beautiful…just like your dreams!

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Nature vs. Nurture

8 Nov

I have had a crazy, stressful week this past week.  I eluded to a certain situation in my last blog and this week everything exploded and I was caught in the firestorm.  Everything revolved around a single person and their actions which finally caught up to them.  I’ve always wondered if bad choices really ever caught up to some people (because some seem to get away with a lot more than others), well now I know, sooner or later they do.  It was interesting watching everything unfold and because I’m always curious about people’s stories, I wondered what this person’s story was that made him who he was today.  It raises the question. ‘nature or nurture’?  Did God make us this way or did our environment create us into who we are today.  I say both.  One of my husband’s favorite phrases when he’s on a stubborn streak is, ” That’s how God made me and no one can change that.”  I believe that to an extent but I also believe that environment can soften and mold us.  I can only imagine the type of person he would’ve been had his parents not reigned him in. I believe we are all created with unique personalities and temperaments but I think our families, friends, and the environment we are raised in mold us too; and then of course, the different choices we make throughout our lifetime direct us one way or another.

People are funny and interesting and knowing people’s stories not only help you understand them more, but accept them and love them too.  I’m not saying that you have to accept their decisions or how they treat you, but it gives you a better handle on things in terms of ‘being the change’ for people (even if it means walking away).  I’m hoping this event may precipitate a change for the better but who knows.  I read a quote which says, “Not everything that is faced can be changed, but nothing can be changed until it is faced”-J. Baldwin.  I understand we need to face our challenges or challenging people head on whether change happens or not.  Maybe it’s just to plant the seed or to be a part of that ‘nurture’. We all have a voice and I’m so thankful after cancer that I still have mine.  We need to use it not only to spark change but to be a blessing to others.

This week I wear Bobbi Brown Rich Lip Color in Crimson.  It’s a rich, deep, wine-red, color and the newest to my ever expanding collection.  It’s great for the holidays and red is always that reminder to for me to live life to the fullest…wear it like you mean it!

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