Anna's Lipstick Journey

It has been an interesting few weeks. Remember when I said insurance would deny coverage until October because of the pre-existing condition? Well, I tried to forget about the possible cancer until then and that lasted about a week. I decided to call Human Resources at my new company and explain my situation, they called me back a couple days later and said it would be taken care of! About a week after that (two weeks ago), I got a letter from my insurance company which said they decided not to approve the request from my doctor for the PET scan because they didn’t find it to be medically necessary. WHAT? Well, my doctor called them immediately, sent more paperwork and last Tuesday I received a letter from them saying that they approved the test. Last Friday I was back in the hospital getting my PET scan done. I got to the hospital about half an hour early and as I sat in the parking lot, there were many thoughts and emotions running through my head. I hadn’t been back to get a PET scan since 2011 (it has been only ultrasounds and blood work since then) so I was a little depressed and a little nervous too. When my name was called the nuclear tech said, ‘Oh hello, I remember you!’…Great…for the first few years of cancer, I was back every 6 months. Not surprisingly, the other 2 techs remembered me too; it was overall a strange and sad experience. Now I wait for one of three outcomes: 1. It’s totally clean and cancer free, the bloodwork was a fluke (best), 2. There is a little cancer in my neck again but it is possibly slow growing and we watch and wait, or 3. The cancer is found somewhere else(worst). I’m not sure when I’ll get the results but at least I’ll have an answer.

I met with a good friend afterward who is going through her own trial. Her boyfriend of a few years has had a lump in his neck dramatically grow in the past few weeks and after seeing a couple physicians last week, there is much concern as to what it may be. Next week there will be a biopsy and answers for them too. Life can change in a second, it’s crazy. Most people ask the same question, ‘why’?, but most people forget the other question, ‘why not?’ Are some people better than others, should some be exempt from illness, heartache, etc.? God did not promise a perfect life, but He does promise to be there to carry us through. We never know His purpose, but we do know that all things work together for His glory. It should be an interesting week however it turns out, but that’s life right?

Today I wear Fresh Sugar Lip Treatment SPF 15 balm in Sugar Berry which is a sheer raspberry. I know you may consider this to be expensive lip balm but it’s free of all those chemicals that concern people (phthalates, parabens, sulfates, etc). Although the colors are sheer they do provide quite a bit of color and are wonderfully moisturizing. I actually own this lip balm in a few other colors. I chose this color because it’s a pop of berry which is one of the colors trending for spring. Cheers!

Life wouldn’t be interesting without a few obstacles, right? This past week I was waiting to hear from my doctor about my next steps in terms of testing to see if the number in my blood work really meant anything. While I waited to see what he decided, I called my new insurance carrier (from my new job), to make sure everything was covered. Surprise, surprise, all testing would not be covered until October; one year of employment for pre-existing conditions. That’s right, no coverage for any other testing. After arguing the points that I was cancer free when I started work, and have been for two years, she responded with ‘anything that we deem remotely related to your past health history would be considered pre-existing.’…  ‘What if I was diagnosed with breast cancer after a routine mammogram?…’   ‘Pre-existing’. Yup, it changed the course of my testing and possible treatment. I will not go into the ethics of that or involve myself in an insurance debate. It is what it is (you know I hate that phrase)! So, from there, I struggled with the cost of a PET scan and ultrasound and wondered how much and how long I could wait to hear an answer. In the meantime, my doctor was also wondering which way to go. On Tuesday he called and proposed an ultrasound done in his office because he said he could then control cost. Today I had that ultrasound done by a young radiologist. In the end, he said he didn’t see anything big enough to do anything about so he said I was ‘clean.’ I asked about all of the abnormal tissue and he said the ultrasound can’t differentiate between scar and tumor but nonetheless, the ‘extra’ tissue he sees is too small. So now what? I want to be excited but I’m not quite there. I haven’t spoken to my doctor about the results so I’m not sure what he’s thinking. The number from my blood-work was above normal, my neck has abnormal tissue, but not anything sizable, and only a PET scan can show if there is cancer anywhere else. So no, I’m not ecstatic over the results, but I’m not as freaked out as last week I guess.

The best part of this week has been all the love and support I have felt. I cannot tell you how many people reached out to me with prayer, support, and offers of fundraisers, etc. I’ve cried a few times because it was all so overwhelming; some of those who reached out are even people I haven’t known for very long. I was even moved by the offer of my doctor to help with the costs of the testing. It’s all too much and I am so grateful. Well, what to do next? I’m not sure. I will wait to hear from my doctor and for today I feel at peace with whatever may happen, or not happen next. The picture of the doors? Because we never know what’s behind them; still finding the magic in every day.

Thank you all for following my journey. Today I wear Bobbi Brown Creamy Lip Color in Hibiscus. These lipsticks are creamy and super moisturizing and I chose this color because it reminds me of summer (which I am so ready for). Cheers!